Buying myself a new ring??

Thats a tough situation but like you said, the size should not matter. I say wait it out, its not worth the argument before the wedding. Ask for a nice band and remember you can always add stones to your ring and you could do that for your one year. but for now in my opinion, its not worth the argument with FH. such small issues become bigger. maybe suggest that you would love to add stones later on.

Yes, it is terrible. You went through with the engagement with all circumstances in place, now that it is accomplished, you want more. Poor taste......be happy with what you have.

I disagree. I think if you have to wear a ring for the rest of your life you should love it and not just settle for it especially if it's your wedding band. I started out with a very inexpensive temporary e-ring and we both understood that this was a temporary ring. We traded up when we could afford it and then traded up again. There's nothing wrong with that at all. I wouldn't hurt his feelings but he should want to buy you a beautiful ring that you love. Is it that he's just being cheap or is he sentimental? If it's that he is sentimental than you can always put your stones in another setting. That's what I did. Work on trading up until you have one you love. Lets us see it, I'd love to. I bet it's very nice just because it's small doesn't mean it's not beautiful My ring is only .80 not even a carat and I love it it all depends on what you like so if it's just that it's small don't let that make you not love it.

If my fiance questioned the ring i gave her because it wasn't enough, i'd question her intentions for marrying me. I'm just giving you ladies a guy's perspective on things.

I get the whole "trade up" thing but that is usually after several years. This couple is not even married yet and she is already worried about the size of her ring.

On top of that, she is the one that chose the ring out herself! I could kind of understand if the guy surprised her and she didn't like it........

What karat is the gold? My ring is white gold, it's natural for gold to scratch. I just had mine rhodium plated after a year of abuse and it looks gorgeous and brand new again. Maybe take it to the jeweler and see if they can professionally clean it/buff it out for you? Not that it would make you love it but it might help.

I would say hold tight for a while. I wouldn't want to wear something every day that I truly disliked, but it might just not be the right time. Maybe you guys can discuss upgrading your rings on your first anniversary or something. You can always reuse the stones like Jennifer said - maybe even in a setting for a new e-ring, so it's all one piece.

Sorry. That sucks.

My mom and Grandmothers each have multiple wedding rings, bands. Mom has 2 wedding sets. One is her original e ring and band marques . The other is a newer heart shaped ring and plain band. She also has a plain larger band from when she was pregnant. She then has another band with stones in it, plus a fake ring she wares to work. Grandma has 2 bands. Do what makes you happy. My ring is different than what i would have chosen for myself tho FH did the best he could to get something I would like. I would not take it off because i am so emotionally attached to it even though there are other rings that I like better. I think that for him it probably hurts when you say you would like a different ring because he couldn't afford a different one, which would make him feel like he failed you in some way...failing to provided...hurting his man pride. Or maybe he is emotionally attached to it and the memories it holds for the two of you. I would try to talk to him about it again.

Also you will be wearing it for a long time so do what makes you happy. Also in some traditions the engagement ring was worn on the first finger and the wedding band was worn on the ring finger. So there is no reason that you couldn't have you e-ring sized and wear both the old and the new. Just an idea.

I tried on the band with it and it feels a little better. I need to not be so selfish.

It's a .25 carat. And I think he is sentimental, not cheap. I understand where he is coming from. And hope I can get there soon.

It looks fine. Be happy you have a good guy that loves you. The rest is just material. I am sure when he can afford it he will buy you the best he can afford. The only thing in this world that I want to do for my fiance is make her happy, so we all do what we can within in our means.

Well I personally think your FH should completely understand your reasons for wanting a more "engagement like" ring... now that he's actually working. My husband would buy me a thousand rings if I asked him to. He knows it has absolutely NOTHING to do with how I feel about HIM. I agree that if you intend to wear it 'forever' it should be one you love, not one you just settled on to help out your FH while he was unemployed. I suppose if he's having an issue with you wanting to upgrade though it might be a good idea to wait a while.

I was writing my comment while you posted the picture. I actually think it's a pretty ring, and at least you like it better with the band.

It's kind of like the one I started with and it really is pretty. It's simple and sweet nothing wrong with that. I wasn't saying he's cheap I was just asking what his reasoning is because some men are LOL and some just sentimental. I would upgrade and use the stones from that ring in another setting when the two of you can afford it , at any rate I think it's very pretty.

I can understand wanting something with a little more "heft" to it might be best to save that for later. And as you noticed, the band makes a big difference

And the next time your fiance asks you what you want--speak up!! Don't try to settle or downplay. If he can do it, he will, If not, then you compromise. But your fiance can't make an informed decision if he doesn't know what you are thinking. A tough lesson, cookie, but learn from it.

For all the women saying it has nothing to do with how they feel about the person. It shouldn't but your actions show it does. Wanting to upgrade tells him he is inadequately providing for your needs. At the root of everything, the male is instinctively the provider. He will be hurt know matter how you approach it. I'm all for honesty, so you might want to tell him. I would try to get my priorities in order before having that conversation.

Imagine him telling you your breast were inadequate and he asked that you get implants before the wedding. LOL

Since I have been the sole breadwinner for 3 years before he got a job, I don't think he will be upset or threatened by my wanting an upgrade. Truth be told, I initially bought my ring until he could pay me back..

Boobs vs. bling? Mmmm....not a great metaphor. But I do agree with you in that men see themselves as the provider and to a man, this could be seen as a hit to his ego and therefore, hurt him.

Exactly! Just goes to show you how different men and women think about the importance of things. (Boobs vs little rocks dug out of the ground)

Believe me, I wanted to do everything in my power to make my fiance happy. However if I thought about it too much, I thought spending as much as I did on a tiny rock was a bit crazy quite honestly.

Um, my breasts are a part of my body....my ring is not. So telling me my boobs weren't big enough would be a personal insult. She's saying she wants a bigger diamond...not a bigger man part!

And technically, if he was unemployed at the time then he WASN'T providing. He is working now, so what's the big deal with asking for the kind of ring he would have gotten her had he been working at the time?

I completely understand the sentimental thing. I'm very sentimental and would actually want to keep the ring for that reason and just get another one to go with it, or upgrade the diamonds like @Abiti M mentioned.

@Don N. I think that the whole 'taking it as not being good enough' thing is YOUR problem. Not necessarily every mans problem.

Haha @Michelle! :-)

:-) I edited it so I hope you still like it lol!

Right boobs and rocks are not the same but equally ridiculous to feel any are inadequate.

Bottom line is perhaps they shouldn't have gotten engaged if he was unemployed and couldn't provide what she wanted at that time?

Definitely not my problem. I am confident in my relationship to not feel threatened in not being good enough. I wouldn't ask a girl to marry me until I could provide for US anyways understanding that traditionally the male should be the provider.