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Savvy May 2020

Bridesmaids upset about price of their dresses

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Meghan, on August 7, 2019 at 9:55 AM

I just ordered my wedding dress last week and wanted to start looking for bridesmaid dresses. We ended up trying on 45+ dresses and there was one 1 that realllly stood out to me that I loved! I tried to stay within a reasonable price range but really wanted something that went well with my dress. The price of the dress is $179 so I messaged the girls who werent able to attend to let them know (my wedding is in 10 months) so they have a few months to save. One of the girls replied "Omg you're killing me" and I know another one is a little salty about it but I reallly really love these dresses. I don't know what to do.. I feel like they should have known when they said yes to being in the wedding. We spent over $2k on my dress and I really don't feel like I'm asking all that much, they have a few months before they even have to order them. What do I do?!

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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on August 7, 2019 at 8:45 PM
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Being a friend is important and being considerate of their finances is important. Not everyone is willing to take a credit card for a dress store (far from the wisest financial move).

Also, you may not know this but she clearly said her wedding is in 10 months, not a year. Bridesmaids dresses can take 2-4 months to come in, alterations take about a 4-6 weeks. In reality they have maybe four months to save up and if someone is on a tight budget that’s very very little time.
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Devoted September 2019
Nicole · on August 7, 2019 at 8:51 PM
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You picked a very average priced dress. They need to dealnor let you know now that that cannot be in it. You’re not expecting to much.
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Devoted September 2019
Nicole · on August 7, 2019 at 8:53 PM
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They should have said no to being in the wedding then. That’s a very average dress price
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Savvy September 2019
Tasha Maupin · on August 7, 2019 at 8:55 PM
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Respectfully, I said almost a year. And when you're a bridesmaid you know you will have to be paying for your dress, close friend or not but it's expected. If you know you can't pay for $180 dress then maybe don't be in the wedding?
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Savvy September 2019
Tasha Maupin · on August 7, 2019 at 8:57 PM
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And also when my girls ordered their dresses it took 3-4 weeks to come in. Get it in the correct size and you won't need alterations.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on August 7, 2019 at 9:03 PM
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Almost every wedding I’ve been in I have needed alterations. It’s fantastic you or those you know are perfectly matched to their dresses but some people need cups added because a dress is too roomy, or they are petite and need the dress hemmed.

Its also wonderful your dresses came in so fast. That time line is far from universal.
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Farrah · on August 7, 2019 at 9:03 PM
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Personally my bridesmaids just spent 220 on their dresses. No questions asked, one of them couldn’t afford it all so I offered to help pay for $100 of it. If they can’t afford it they should discuss it with you instead of
”you’re killing me” comments. But what I did with my bridesmaids was they picked their dress as long as the color was the same.

Hopefully that helps, I suggest really communicating with them. I’ve been the complete opposite of bridezilla during my wedding planning, my girls get what they want but I could see the comment hurting me more then them trying to communicate with me.
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Savvy September 2019
Tasha Maupin · on August 7, 2019 at 9:04 PM
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And I have David's Bridal to thank for it all. They did a great job.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on August 7, 2019 at 9:05 PM
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Four months isn’t even remotely close to a year. Ten months isn’t even close to a year.

If your priority is how much a friend can spend on a dress versus their presence in your wedding that’s definitely your choice to make. I value my friends differently and just want them to feel respected when I’m picking something out that they are spending their hard earned money on.
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Dedicated September 2020
Shanita · on August 7, 2019 at 9:15 PM
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That’s a tough situation. I’m giving my ladies the option to choose the dress they like. But, it has to be from David’s Bridal in the color I choose and they took a vote on whether they would all get floor or tea length dresses. Other than that style is up to them. I figured it would save the headache of choosing the perfect dress for everyone’s body type and price range.
Nonetheless, when friends agree to be a bridesmaid they have to understand what it entails. Try explaining to them your reasons for choosing the dress and empathize on cost. If it’s really that big of a deal for them to pull off $180 in 10 months. Maybe you can find an alternate Bridesmaid?
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Devoted December 2019
Samantha · on August 7, 2019 at 9:17 PM
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In weddings I’ve been in, the price ranges have been been $140-$200, so in my opinion $179 is not totally outrageous at all. Unfortunately since people are not happy, you may have to pay part of it or pick another dress. I’m sorry this part of the process has been tough. I really had great luck with azazie for my girls (they are wearing long dresses and cost were between 110-140).
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Dedicated September 2020
Shanita · on August 7, 2019 at 9:19 PM
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I was kind of thinking the same thing. I understand it’s a financial commitment and the bridal party knows that going in. If you feel like finances are going to be an issue. I would prefer you respectfully decline to be in the wedding then to have you complain about my decisions. That way everyone remains friends in my opinion.
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Savvy September 2019
Tasha Maupin · on August 7, 2019 at 9:20 PM
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I totally agree! Bridesmaids should be able to have their own style dress as long as it's the right color. That's what I did with my girls. And the only thing bridesmaids have to pay for is a dress. Not saying it needs to be a ridiculous price but $180 over the course of 10 months, which is 2 months close to a year, isn't that bad.
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Master September 2019
Colleen · on August 7, 2019 at 9:24 PM
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Yes choose a dress over a friend. What is more important to you?
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Devoted September 2020
I_Do_Too · on August 7, 2019 at 9:53 PM
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I think if you LOVE the dress and they like it too, you can compromise with them and have them pay 100-150 and take care of the rest. Seems fair in my opinion.
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Expert October 2019
Sara · on August 8, 2019 at 12:16 AM
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$180 is a lot for a dress that they are only going to wear one day. I would asked what their price range is and if you are set on having those dresses than maybe offer to pinch in. I used azazie and I had dresses from $89 all the way to $139. I just picked dresses that looked good with each other. I let them chose the style which would show the price to them ahead of time. That way they can pick out what budget they can afford. Plus they loved picking out their dresses cause they could find a style that looked good on them.
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Savvy May 2020
Meghan · on August 8, 2019 at 12:40 AM
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I completely agree. If any of my girls couldn't afford their dress I would pitch in so they could afford it. I don't see where anybody commented saying they wanted their bridesmaids to pay top dollar or make them feel disrespected. All the BMs are on board with the dress price and in for hair and make up too. Thank you for all your feedback.
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on August 8, 2019 at 12:45 AM
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You could have them wear black cocktail dresses (whatever they already own) and ask them to buy matching shawls in whatever color you want. Just a suggestion. Sounds like you already reached a solution with having a local cheaper bachelorette. Great resolution!
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Dedicated October 2026
Ashley · on August 8, 2019 at 1:16 AM
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That is a lot of money to ask someone to spend. It may not be a big deal for you so why don't you cover the cost since you're requiring they wear what you want
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Beginner February 2019
Tracy · on August 8, 2019 at 2:47 AM
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Maybe you can tell the bridesmaids the styles, colors, hemline, and something else that you like the bridesmaid dresses be look, and let them to choose dresses and then to check the dresses they choose.
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