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Savvy May 2020

Bridesmaids upset about price of their dresses

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Meghan, on August 7, 2019 at 9:55 AM

I just ordered my wedding dress last week and wanted to start looking for bridesmaid dresses. We ended up trying on 45+ dresses and there was one 1 that realllly stood out to me that I loved! I tried to stay within a reasonable price range but really wanted something that went well with my dress. The price of the dress is $179 so I messaged the girls who werent able to attend to let them know (my wedding is in 10 months) so they have a few months to save. One of the girls replied "Omg you're killing me" and I know another one is a little salty about it but I reallly really love these dresses. I don't know what to do.. I feel like they should have known when they said yes to being in the wedding. We spent over $2k on my dress and I really don't feel like I'm asking all that much, they have a few months before they even have to order them. What do I do?!

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89 Comments

Devoted October 2020
Emily · on August 7, 2019 at 2:20 PM
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I saw that you are going to ask them what budget they’re comfortable with and that’s great! As an alternative, have you considered letting them pick their own? It might be hard to give up full control but I love the idea of all of my girls feeling like a million bucks in the dress they chose to wear. I want them to feel amazing and have the best time! I’m giving them a length and a color and letting them run wild. Just a thought!
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Devoted November 2021
Sarah · on August 7, 2019 at 2:26 PM
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I would check in with them one-on-one and ask if the dress is okay, and if not what budget would be better. Try to work with them... not everyone is in the same financial boat as you!
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VIP June 2019
MIWM · on August 7, 2019 at 3:51 PM
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It's always important to discuss the budget beforehand.
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Devoted August 2020
Keyona · on August 7, 2019 at 4:00 PM
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My bridesmaid dresses are the same price but I did once I found it spoke with each person about everything and the cost i was expecting. So maybe a conversation and if this is what you want and they don't want to pay for it it's kind of up to you. My thing was if they didn't want to pay that price i would look around more but i was settled on that dress so if they couldn't be apart i understood that as well.
But i think having a conversation on what they can afford is best - but weddings are expensive so i usually prepare myself when i tell anyone ill be a bridesmaid in their wedding.
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Devoted August 2020
Keyona · on August 7, 2019 at 4:00 PM
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This is what i did i spoke with each person separately.
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Super November 2019
Katie · on August 7, 2019 at 4:25 PM
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Maybe wait and see if the dress goes on sale before asking them to purchase it. One of my girls got her dress for $140 during a David's Bridal sale, but the other girl did not purchase hers until after the sale was over and the dress was back at $160 so she paid for what she could and I took care if the rest. That could maybe be an option for you? I'm not sure your budget but you did say you have 10 months before your wedding.
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Dedicated November 2019
Olivia · on August 7, 2019 at 6:34 PM
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Azazie for the win!
I allowed my girls to choose the dresses they liked, they just had to be the same color. I wanted everyone to feel comfortable and like their dress. We started out with a David's Bridal $150 for my bridesmaids, maid of honor needed a different style that they didn't carry in her size. One of the bridesmaids ended up disliking the dress after a couple months (no one had ordered anything thankfully) but then my mom found Azazie and everyone loved the dresses. The bridesmaid dresses are going to be less than $130 (shipping, tax, price) and the maid of honor dress is just about $150 I believe total.
I trusted my girls to find dresses that fit their budget and that they actually liked/felt comfortable in. They did just that so everyone is happy. If you trust them to do the same you're welcome to try it out, just give them guidelines. Same color, nothing showing breasts, certain length, etc.
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Just Said Yes November 2019
Kristen · on August 7, 2019 at 6:43 PM
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A couple of my bridesmaids help me pick them out. Dress ended up being 240.00. I am going to pay for hair, makeup, and earrings.

If you helped pay for the dress - they would complain about hair. You just know when you sign up for the bridesmaid role it will be money you will spend and never get back.

If it makes you feel better - renting a suit for the groom is 200.00 too! (Which i surprised too)

good luck and enjoy YOUR day!
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Just Said Yes November 2019
Kristen · on August 7, 2019 at 6:43 PM
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I meant groomsmen
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VIP December 2019
Michelle · on August 7, 2019 at 7:59 PM
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I don't think that's too much especially when they have time to save for it. that's what dresses cost these days and anything under $200 is affordable in my opinion and I'm cheap lol
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Master September 2019
Colleen · on August 7, 2019 at 8:02 PM
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Not everyone has the same budget. Some girls only have 50 bucks to spend on a wedding dress. Should you want your BM to want to stand with you no matter the budget?
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Master September 2019
Colleen · on August 7, 2019 at 8:04 PM
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Not everyone has the same budget. Some girls can’t afford that. So should she not have the. In her wedding cause the can’t afford a dress?
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Dedicated November 2019
Erica · on August 7, 2019 at 8:11 PM
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One thing you always have to consider is your bridesmaids. They’re paying for so much more than a dress. My sister had us get an almost 300$ dress and it was completely out of my budget I was broke & I felt so depressed but I wanted to be in her wedding (mind you I am planning my own wedding ) it’s inconsiderate. If you wanted a dress that expensive you should have told them in the beginning. I found a beautiful 99$ dress at davids bridal and all my bridesmaids were happy.

Ate you going to have them get their hair and makeup done? If so, you should consider a cheaper dress.

Not everyone makes good money and if you’re close to them you should know their struggles.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on August 7, 2019 at 8:16 PM
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Well what exactly should they have known when they “said yes”? To be clear…When you asked them to be your bridesmaids, did you give them a set max amount that they would be spending prior to them saying yes? That way they know exactly what they were signing up for. Just like a wedding has a budget, a bridesmaid has a budget on what she can spend as well. Not sure if you considered that. Unfortunately, your wedding is not your friends’ top priority for the next 10 months.
Also, whatever amount you chose to spend on your dress has nothing to do with what they spend.
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Dedicated September 2019
LJ · on August 7, 2019 at 8:16 PM
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I would have thought my dress was a STEAL for 179. I’ve been in a dozen weddings and every single dress was over $250. I agree that you should check on people’s budgets, but expecting to pay less than (at least in my area) 150 just isn’t realistic. They have the right (and responsibility) to turn down the request to be in your bridal party if they can’t/don’t want to afford it.
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Dedicated August 2019
Blag · on August 7, 2019 at 8:19 PM
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I mean I get both points of views. Just explain the important points from your message and they should feel at ease :-)
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Master September 2019
Colleen · on August 7, 2019 at 8:20 PM
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My dress was 250 like my wedding dress! You can find BM dress for under 100.
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Savvy August 2020
Leslie · on August 7, 2019 at 8:34 PM
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I think that being a bridesmaid in someone's wedding is really a kindness done for that friend, not because the person has some strong desire to be a bridesmaid. As the bride, I think you need to consider that they are taking time to be in your wedding, likely taking time off work to do so, paying travel and hotel costs, and buying dresses. You may be willing to brop $2K on a dress but your friends are shelling out some serious coin too. Be considerate of their budgets and remember they are your friends.
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Savvy September 2019
Tasha Maupin · on August 7, 2019 at 8:38 PM
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I'm probably the only person who agrees with you. They have almost a whole year to save for a dress. AND there are credit card options if you go with David's Bridal. Now if it was closer to wedding time I would get budgeting.

For the people saying the dress isn't the only thing they pay for for the wedding, I don't know what your bridesmaids are doing but not mine. The only thing my girls had to pay for was their dress. I paid for one girls alterations and the others didn't need them. The only thing bridesmaids should be required to pay is for the dress. Requiring the bride to pay for it all is insane because they're already paying for absolutely everything else.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on August 7, 2019 at 8:40 PM
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In the world of wedding etiquette it’s a huge faux pas to shop on someone else’s dime without getting a budget ahead of time.

Whats done is done though. Apologize for not being considerate of budgets and plan another shopping trip (or try online retailers) in a more reasonable price range. If you *need* them in those dresses for whatever reason offer to pay for a portion of the dress.
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