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Savvy May 2020

Bridesmaids upset about price of their dresses

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Meghan, on August 7, 2019 at 9:55 AM

I just ordered my wedding dress last week and wanted to start looking for bridesmaid dresses. We ended up trying on 45+ dresses and there was one 1 that realllly stood out to me that I loved! I tried to stay within a reasonable price range but really wanted something that went well with my dress. The price of the dress is $179 so I messaged the girls who werent able to attend to let them know (my wedding is in 10 months) so they have a few months to save. One of the girls replied "Omg you're killing me" and I know another one is a little salty about it but I reallly really love these dresses. I don't know what to do.. I feel like they should have known when they said yes to being in the wedding. We spent over $2k on my dress and I really don't feel like I'm asking all that much, they have a few months before they even have to order them. What do I do?!

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89 Comments

Devoted February 2020
idosoon · on August 7, 2019 at 11:20 AM
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There was a dress that I really liked for my BMs and it was 300+ with alterations. I immediately knew that if I went with that dress I would have to help them pay for it. I ultimately went with a different and much cheaper dress but I do think it is inconsiderate to just expect folks to have X amount of funds for your wedding.
I would suggest setting expectations with them from not for all cost (dress, shoes, hair, accessories) that you are expecting from them.
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Dedicated May 2021
Brittany · on August 7, 2019 at 11:22 AM
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If you sent them pictures and prices of the dress and nothing was mentioned then, maybe you can bring that up. Why did they not mention when you text them the pics the the dress as a little expensive to them. Honestly $179 isn't horrible. Even at Davids bridal the cheapest BM dress is like $100. Maybe ask them what did they plan to spend and see whats available in that price range and compare. Who knows, maybe when they see their options in their price range they will change their mind. Good luck
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Expert November 2019
Keri · on August 7, 2019 at 11:28 AM
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Talk to your girls and come up with a price range they are comfortable with. If it is $140, pay the $39 difference if you love the dress so much. Weddings are expensive for all involved and feelings easily get hurt. Best of luck
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Devoted June 2019
C R · on August 7, 2019 at 11:38 AM
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Having seen this play out many times, I think that people can get caught up in peer pressure in a group chat. I’m sure everyone thought the dresses were pretty, but nobody wants to be the first one to say “gee, can we look for something less expensive”. For this reason, I think the previous advice (which the OP says she will now do) of having individual chats to establish a fair budget is excellent advice.
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Devoted August 2019
Ali · on August 7, 2019 at 11:38 AM
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My bridesmaids dresses were 170. Definitely pricey but when we went to look at them I asked everyone what there budget was and gave that to the lady at the dress place and she only pulled dresses that were 180 or less. I would have definitely asked what there price range is first.
The cost of your dress cant be compared you are the bride you are going to drop money on your dress it's your day and you made your own dress budget.
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Savvy May 2020
Meghan · on August 7, 2019 at 11:43 AM
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Thank you for your kind feedback. I will look into it. I just followed up with the girls and everybody is okay with the price if we do a less extravagant batchelorett party closer to home. I do feel like I jumped the gun on the dresses and would absolutely hate to put anybody in a bad spot financially. I'm being pulled in so many directions and get ahead of myself sometimes lol. Less expensive dresses are always an option.
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VIP September 2019
Yam · on August 7, 2019 at 11:44 AM
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Yay! I’m happy you’re working with your girls to find a compromise. Wedding planning is stressful but your friendships will be stronger than ever after the wedding keeping a level head and offering solutions. Good luck, you’ve got this! ❤️
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Dedicated May 2020
Colleen · on August 7, 2019 at 11:44 AM
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When you say “we have spent $2k” on your dress, are you saying we as in you and you’re BMs?? If they are paying for your dress (which is a whole different issue) then you should absolutely respect their price point and aim for lower than what they want to spend since you should be grateful they paid for your dress. —-that’s assuming that I read “we” as your bridal party. R regardless you need to be considerate of their budgets. Most of us are young, starting careers, paying school loans/bills, and can’t just drop hundreds on a dress.
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Just Said Yes July 2020
Mary · on August 7, 2019 at 11:51 AM
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I also think $179 is reasonable... they're purchasing a formal GOWN, and as some others have said, that is what a nice, quality dress runs these days. They could literally put aside less than $20/month to pay off the dress leading up to the wedding day. As part of their bridesmaids gift, could you offer to pitch in a little bit, like $20/bridesmaid towards the cost of their dress maybe to off-set the cost, instead of spending money on the little bridesmaid 'knick-knack' type gifts?
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Devoted September 2019
Kaleka · on August 7, 2019 at 11:57 AM
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Trust me I know the feeling oh to well. With wedding expenses, working on my bachelor's degree, and having a 10 year old going back to school I know how hectic it can be. My ladies and I are also doing a less crazy bachelorette weekend. We will go out on the town where we live then the next day we will be driving 2 hours to go to the beach and just relax. So trust me I have been making adjustments where I can to fit everyones budgets.
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Super August 2020
Anna · on August 7, 2019 at 11:58 AM
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I also think $179 is reasonable. Typically what I/my friends have spent before is in the $200 price range for a dress. Sure, they probably won't wear it again.. but like the person above me said... it's a formal gown.
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Devoted September 2019
Kaleka · on August 7, 2019 at 11:59 AM
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Katie I definitely agree, some of the comments are harsh in my opinion. We are all her for one common goal, and that is to get advice, support, and guidance as we plan our big days.
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Dedicated October 2019
Dana · on August 7, 2019 at 12:40 PM
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If that's the dress you want and it's too expenisve for your girls you should consider paying the difference for each dress. If they only feel comfortable paying $75, then you should pay the last $100 for each of them.
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Savvy September 2019
Brendaliz · on August 7, 2019 at 12:51 PM
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Once you see what budget they are comfortable with and you are set on getting that dress, offer to pay the difference. Dont forget that they will need to pay for alterations which could add on an additional $60+ as well as purchase shoes, accessories, and the other wedding expenses. Yes, they agreed to be a BM but you being their friend would know of any financial issues that they may have. Keep in mind that the price of your dress has absolutely no correlation to what they should spend on their bridesmaid dresses.
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VIP September 2019
· on August 7, 2019 at 1:06 PM
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I think you should have discussed with them what they could afford. If you are set on those dresses then you may have to assist them with costs. My advice keep looking and find a dress you like, they like, and that is affordable to everyone
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Expert July 2019
Mary · on August 7, 2019 at 1:50 PM
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My bridesmaids were also quite price conscious, especially if alterations would be necessary. If you have your heart set on the specific style, would you be open to them buying it secondhand? My bridesmaids ended up going to Poshmark and Tradesy to find the exact same dress for much less.
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Devoted May 2022
Madison · on August 7, 2019 at 1:56 PM
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I told my girls what colors I like and they are choosing what dress they like. They just send me pictures and let me know which one they like before they get it 😂 it could 20 or 200. I made sure I didn’t put any pressure on them. I have told all of them about what they have to buy and if they can’t do it I will gladly help cover what they can’t. The dresses my bridesmaids are getting are dresses they could and have told me they would buy it even if it was for a wedding so they are more willing to spend money on something they really like and want. If it’s a dress that they aren’t really into and it’s expensive it makes sense that they would be upset. Good luck
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VIP May 2020
Destiny · on August 7, 2019 at 2:01 PM
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What does the dress look like yoh might be able to find ot on azzazie for cheaper
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Expert October 2019
Heather · on August 7, 2019 at 2:16 PM
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This is what i did too. I gave them a color and length to stick to, and they chose the dress that fit them best. It worked out really well! They all got their dresses back from alterations already and the wedding isn’t til October. I won’t have my dress back from alterations til September. So they’re really on the ball lol
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Expert October 2019
Sara · on August 7, 2019 at 2:16 PM
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Personally I think it’s a little high especially if alterations are necessary. However, I think there are things you can do to make it easier on the girls but still stick to the dresses you’ve picked out. Maybe let them choose their own shoes (for example, I told my girls wear any black or nude shoe that they already have so they don’t have to spend more money). Make professional hair/makeup optional or pay for/towards everyone’s.
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