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Amina
Dedicated January 2020

Bridesmaids makeup

Amina, on December 9, 2019 at 1:09 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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So I have booked a MUA for myself that will be traveling to me for the day of. I previously told the girls they can decide to add on to my booking if they choose and get their makeup done or all decide what to do. Two girls decided to book a makeup artist that they have to travel to that’s an hour from the venue (add any additional travel time for possible PA mid-January weather) and didn’t tell me until much after and also added in that they will be considerably late due to the times of their appointments because they didn’t feel like waking up early to get it done. Anytime I try to ask them about it they get all defensive and barely give me any info. So I have no idea how their morning is planned. Spoke with one of the girls who booked the other MUA about having a color eyeshadow to match the other girls who all decided to book my MUA to match and she said she would just have to pay a little more for a color and it would be okay. But now all of a sudden it’s a problem and can’t be done. Am I wrong for being upset that they booked another MUA, especially one they have to travel so far to without telling me? And now that they won’t match the other girls? I’ve told all of them constantly that they need to all decide together on their looks so they are similar after I give them basic guidance, like stud or dangle earring for example. But these two have constantly caused problems and been difficult and caused me stress that i’m getting to the point of not wanting them around. Even the other girls have noticed their constant push back without me even bringing attention to it. Any advice on what to do?? Do I just ignore them and be glad they won’t be around during the morning to annoy me? But I’ll just be pissed the whole time that they didn’t make it a priority to be there

15 Comments

Latest activity by Eri, on December 9, 2019 at 3:21 PM
  • Vannesa
    Expert October 2021
    Vannesa ·
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    Honestly I'd be upset to. You can take time to be upset now but I wouldn't want to be upset the day of your big day maybe do a little yoga and some deep breathing the day of.

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    If they're paying for it they have every right to book whoever they want. Also, I have never heard of makeup artists matching everyone's makeup exactly - that seems super ridiculous and controlling. If you need them at the venue by a certain time for pictures, just tell them what time they need to arrive if they're not getting makeup done with you. This is not that big a deal.

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  • Amina
    Dedicated January 2020
    Amina ·
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    It’s not about them having the exact makeup. They all decided to have their eye makeup similar as is shades of purple that compliment their own eyes and skin tone. What I’m mostly upset about is the fact that they chose to go to someone who was so far from the venue which meant that would leave no time for us all to spend together on the morning of my wedding. Also the fact that they chose to book appointments at like noon when the appointments take an hour then they have a long commute afterwards with possible bad weather. It just shows that they didn’t really prioritize being with me on my special day. Hurts my feelings because they don’t seem to care and actually go upset at me for being upset that they wouldn’t be around which is one of the reasons I asked them to be a bridesmaid. Not just so they show up at the last minute and jump in a picture
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  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
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    I agree with Lady. If you gave them the option to book with your artist because they're paying for their own makeup, I don't see anything wrong with them choosing to go somewhere else. I also don't understand why everyone needs to have matching eyeshadow. As long as they arrive to the venue at the time you need them there for the ceremony or photos (whichever is first), I wouldn't stress over this.

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  • R
    Super September 2018
    Rachel ·
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    Before the girls booked the other MUA, did you let them know when and where you needed them to be so they could book accordingly? I understand your frustration with the timing, and if they knew the meet up time/location you’re frustration is more valid. You are sending mixed signals with the eyeshadow though, if you wanted that level of coordination the etiquette is that you should have paid for the services. Perhaps the compromise is for you to buy the specific eyeshadow you want and ask the girls to move their appointment early in order to be ready on time? For all you know on that eyeshadow color could be discontinued or out of stock and thus not possible for the MUA to secure.
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  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
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    I would be upset that they booked a MUA so far away if you were hoping to spend the morning getting ready with your girls. As a bridesmaid, i would never do that....or if I really hated the bride's makeup artist for some reason I would book someone else but book them really early so that I could spend the morning with the bride.


    That being said, asking for matching eyeshadow is going too far. First off, no one will notice. and Secondly, the point of getting makeup done is to enhance each person's individual features. Its just not going to look good on everyone and if they are paying to have their makeup done they deserve to have it done appropriately for their style, coloring, and facial features.

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  • Amina
    Dedicated January 2020
    Amina ·
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    Not a specific color, and they made the decision themselves to be similar. And yes they were told the timing of things. When they booked their appointments they didn’t ask me my thoughts either about timing. They booked the time because they didn’t feel like going earlier, their exact words. They knew this would leave them little to no time for us all spending time together the morning of. Which is what makes me the most hurt. It’s not about controlling their exact eye makeup look.
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  • Amina
    Dedicated January 2020
    Amina ·
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    I wish everyone would stop focusing on the match eye shadow part. I never once told them they need to have matching eye makeup. They all decided as a group to do that and to have something similar that would compliment their own face, eye color, skin tone.


    I’m focusing on how as a bridesmaid they put so little effort into trying to be there for me as a friend on the morning of my wedding. They didn’t let me know about their MUA booking until we’ll afterward. And when everyone decided to try to look similar, I was told that wouldn’t be a problem. Now they’re telling me it’s a problem.
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    If you need them there earlier, just tell them that. Again, they have every right to do what they're doing as long as they are there in time for pictures and the ceremony. I'm sure the makeup artist they are paying has shades of purple.


    You should ask people to be BM's because you love and want to honor them, period, not because of how much time they spend with you or when. As long as they are there for the ceremony, that's what should matter. If you think they may not be, ask them to arrive earlier.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I would be frustrated too. I get booking your own, but why so far away and so late? Some people don't think it seems! Are these the same GFs of FH's brother and cousin that you've had problems with before?

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  • Amina
    Dedicated January 2020
    Amina ·
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    Exactly my thoughts. And yes unfortunately
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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    They are literally the worst! I guess just be happy they won't be bothering you the day of lol!

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  • M
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
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    I would be upset. They needed to time manage. My ceremony is at 2pm. Everyones deadline is 1pm they need to be dressed, makeup done, hair done and present. Have you communicated your timeline to them? Is the time you need them to be there at a reasonable time? I would ask if there is any way to change their appointments to an earlier time.
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  • Amina
    Dedicated January 2020
    Amina ·
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    They’ve know the general timeline for a few months. Ceremony is at 5:30, photographers arrive at 3 to begin getting ready pictures. Once the photographers get there, those 2 hours before we need to be set for the ceremony are gonna fly. And of course there are no early times to move their appointments to with it being only a month to go
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  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
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    Ugh, I'm sorry you're running into this. While it's totally fine for them to book their own MUA, as you mentioned, I find it super weird that they picked someone that far away and said that they "don't feel" like waking up early, so you have to deal with their timeline. You seem like you're giving them relatively reasonable parameters and they're pushing them just because.


    I'll be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding in June, and while I don't think she's booked hair/makeup yet, if we have the option to use her artist on-site, I'm totally going with that option. Maybe that's just my laziness coming out lol, but I'd have 0 desire to go somewhere else.


    (I'm giving my bridesmaids the option to get their hair/makeup done elsewhere just in case the cost is too much or the style isn't their thing, but so far, everyone's going with my stylist/artist.)

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