Bridesmaids Decisions

View Quoted Comment I want to stress this to everyone. No one in my bridal party knows that my 17/18 year old god niece couldn’t be in the wedding. No one knows that the second bridesmaids would stop communicating except my mother and my Fiancé. I’ve planned this whole wedding by myself. No one knows each other. No one has talked to each other. Every gift I give out is personalized to that person. I’m not giving out hand me down anything. I’m not trying to make anyone feel any type of way. Not a bridesmaid and not a groomsman either. Frankly now I’m more stressed out about this because of these comments than I was before saying anything.

View Quoted Comment I had one that volunteered herself to be a Bridesmaid. Then, 2 years later, she was too busy to pick a 👗. I gave her a 2 week timeframe to pick one in May. Then, she stopped speaking to me. I asked twice if we were having an issue. As such, she was not issued a Invitation. Oh, she was too just because she was planning her own quickie Wedding. She had 4-5 years to get married, but since she was the 1st to get engaged, she needed to be the 1st to get married out of the 3 Brides in our little group.

I'm sorry but we all pray to get married only once, and just that once, it is expected that your close friends will be by your side and make that day the most magical day for you. It is not about the money or anything material, it is just about the effort and the love shown by the friends you feel comfortable enough to stand by you and pray with you through this period.

Now if a certain friend is going through things during this period and cannot let you know, knowing that it will stress you out more (because let's face it, we are all adults and know the ripple effects of our attitudes) then that friend was really not a friend to begin with and I would totally just say "deuces" and ride into the sunset with the true ones I have.....

This is probably the longest I've commented on here but I just felt very uncomfortable reading comments that felt like arrows thrown at Taylor.

I have the same problem , one said she couldnt do it and my wedding is in one month away, and another is is hot and cold😒
if i would you i will stick to 4 maids

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Someone who seems that arrows were thrown. I appreciate you! And maybe we weren’t real friends that’s okay. I’m glad I know this now and not 7 months from now.

View Quoted Comment I would if all the Groomsmen were all so honor and ecstatic about this day. I’m not trying to steal that joy from them either.

I would try reaching out to bridesmaid #5 one more time through social media (whatever she posts on the most). Message her about something other than the wedding, try to make it something you know she'd reply to and if she doesn't reply I think its safe to say that bridesmaid #5 is "ghosting" you, if she does reply then that's when you should ask her if she really wants to be a bridesmaid or not. If she's ghosting you, you kind of have no choice but to assume she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid unfortunately.

View Quoted Comment I feel like since I’ve been sent and called her over 6 times to just see how she’s doing. And to add the one message about the wedding, reaching out to her in social media kinda looks like I’m desperate and begging her. She’s made her point. I’m not begging anyone to be in my wedding lol.

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I only mentioned it just in case her phone isn't working, like maybe she didn't pay her phone bill. If you're certain it is working, she's definitely ghosting you then. You can definitely assume she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid. As far as replacing her goes, only ask someone else if you are really close with them. If you ask someone you aren't that close with they're likely to be a terrible bridesmaid just like this one and you'd have to go through this situation all over again

I've been having the same issues with 2 of my fiance's groomsmen they have till the end of the day to reply or they are being dropped. These are my fiance's closets friends yet they can never answer. My wedding is in 18 days so my brothers will take their place if they do not reply, my brothers don't like weddings but volunteered if the groomsmen don't reply.

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Just wondering, why would you have to drop a groomsmen if you only had 4 bridesmaids? There are ways to work around an uneven number and still look great. We have an even number but one is a bridesman so we had to figure out how our wedding party would look and I am happy with what we came up with.

Personally, I wouldn't continue to reach out to that friend. My friends are my friends and we would never ignore each other. Regardless of her situation she should be able to talk to you. It's weird that she hasn't as a friend.

Sorry that this has stressed you out more but I hope everything goes well! Sending positive vibes!

View Quoted Comment I don’t know how I would arrange it where someone isn’t walking by themselves. I want everyone walking in pairs and I’m walking down with my mom and grandfather. When people walk down one by one in my opinion it takes to long.

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Is the best man already walking with the groom in the beginning?

Is your FMIL married? If not, who is she walking with?

Yea I fixed it to were everyone had somebody. Just had an alternative placement.

View Quoted Comment My father in law has passed. My fiancé is walking down with his mother and the Best man is walking down with one of my maid of honor.

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You could have 2 groomsmen escort 1 bridesmaid. Maybe make them the last of the wedding party to walk in

View Quoted Comment I feel that it would take away from me walking down. There the last one walking down then the I am and that’s another three people.

Honestly I went through something similar. I asked one of my girls to be a BM and she accepted. We got engaged a year prior to wedding so lots of time to plan. After trying to invite her to multiple things (wedding and non wedding related) she just kept bailing. She made it to my birthday and made it when my fiance got me out of the house after my sister passed but other than that she was pretty ghost. I would get a sporadic response here or there but after reaching out to her in March about an appt to go dress shopping for the BM dresses in beginning of April (1st time looking at dresses) she couldn't be bothered by going or telling me when she would be up for going to look. Then she disappeared for 2 months. I eventually called her out and it wasn't until I called her out that I got a response. It was a "oh pity me, my life is so hard" type response and I just told her while I wish she would have talked to me about what was going on in her life because thats what friends are for I justs didn't think she would be a good fit for wedding party. I won't say our friendship is the same any more but we are still "friends" I hope for the best but I just don't think you should replace her, I know you said you want 5 but it may seem like 5 is just a no go for you since you have had 2 drop outs essentially.