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Kaleigh
Super December 2019

Bridesmaids after the Wedding

Kaleigh, on August 9, 2018 at 1:16 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 41
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So I’m just curious on everyone’s stance. This isn’t to start arguments, I’m just curious where everyone stands.

After the ceremony is done, and the reception is over, how long are the bridesmaids supposed to answer to the bride?

I personally think that once the reception is done, their duties are over. You can’t ask, or demand, they do anything else.

We we are having a brunch the day after our wedding for out of town guests, and I told all members of the bridal party, they are more than welcome to attend, but I don’t expect them to be there. Our wedding is on a Monday, and I’m not going to ask our bridal party to take off more time than they have too, especially since it is right before Christmas. The brunch is 100% optional.

But there’s a BM in my wedding who is agetting married before us (by about half a year) who has told us we have to stay at a hotel all weekend long for bunch and their honeymoon send off on Monday. (Her wedding is early Saturday afternoon.) I don’t mind staying into Sunday, but FH doesn’t want to stay until Monday afternoon for their honeymoon send off. (He is a groomsman)

So, what day you? Are your BM’s free birds for lack of a better term after the reception ends, or are they still responsible to the bride and groom until they leave for the honeymoon? Or even after they come back from the honeymoon?

41 Comments

Latest activity by Natalie, on August 20, 2018 at 3:14 PM
  • F
    Super August 2018
    FutureMrsO ·
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    I think that’s a little ridiculous. My BMs have the choice to stay for brunch the day after the wedding and all but one is not staying and that’s fine. She lives far away and has to work the following day. I would just tell them that you can’t afford it or can’t afford to take another day off work so you have to leave Sunday.
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  • Munchkin9218
    Master September 2018
    Munchkin9218 ·
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    Well I'm not sure what duties any bridesmaids have at the reception, except to eat drink be merry and dance? The only thing a bridesmaid NEEDS to do to be a bridesmaid is show up on time, in the agreed upon dress, stand beside you in the ceremony, and then of course be around for pics. After pics are done they are guests


    For your friend demanding you stay thats definitely not a requirement. You don't have to attend any of the pre or post wedding activities. You only have to show up in your dress on time. If you can't or don't wish to just tell her you will sorry to miss her send off but its not a possibility

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  • Kaleigh
    Super December 2019
    Kaleigh ·
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    THIS IS EXACTLY MY STANDPOINT! My BM’s are my friends that I cannot imagine standing by my side the day I get married. Other than maybe helping me into my dress the day off, cause it’s a button back and I can’t do it myself lol, I don’t see a need that have to answer to me. But my BM who is a bride sees it differently. I didn’t know if I was being a weird bride or what lol. But thank you for your opinion! I’m glad im
    not alone in my viewpoint.
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  • Munchkin9218
    Master September 2018
    Munchkin9218 ·
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    No definitely not. You ask your closest friends and families to stand beside you because you cannot imagine it any other way. Not for aesthetics or pictures or to do stuff for you. But some brides get caught up in all the other stuff and forget these people still should want to be your friend when its over lol. I would just tell her you are sorry to miss her send off, and you will be there into sunday morning, but due to other commitments for you and your FH you will not be able to stay through monday and you hope she has a good time on her honeymoon

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  • E
    Expert April 2019
    Elizabeth ·
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    I think if theres clean up after the reception the bridal party could help with that, but otherwise you're off the hook once the event is over.
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  • c
    Super May 2019
    c ·
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    Uhh, once that reception wraps you are free to do whatever you want! You shouldn't be forced to stay for a honeymoon send off at all.

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  • Jen
    Super May 2018
    Jen ·
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    My bridesmaids and H's groomsmen were free to go find their SOs and enjoy cocktail hour and the reception pretty much as soon as the ceremony was over. We got all our wedding party pictures out of the way before the ceremony so they didn't have to stick around for those either. We needed my MOH and his BM for about 10 minutes after the ceremony to sign our marriage license. And my MOH bustled my dress. After that, they were also free to go and enjoy themselves.

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  • Preslee
    Expert May 2019
    Preslee ·
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    I think that's a little crazy. I wouldn't stay until Monday either!

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  • M&M Bride
    Super September 2018
    M&M Bride ·
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    I wouldn't stay for a honeymoon send off. Monday's are the busiest day for me at work, and I try to not take them off whenever possible. It seems like a lot to ask people to pay for another night at the hotel and miss a day of work. I have never heard of a honeymoon send off, do you just wave as they get in a car for the airport?

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  • Kalie
    Devoted September 2018
    Kalie ·
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    My bridesmaids are my loved ones. They certainly do not have to ever “answer to me”. There are no duties and I’m happy as long as they are happy.
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  • Kaleigh
    Super December 2019
    Kaleigh ·
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    I’m not sure! I had never heard of a honeymoon send off either! I’m not sure what it is lol.
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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    They have no responsibilities or jobs before the wedding or after. Day of commitment obviously. Bridesmaid arent servants.
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  • Kaleigh
    Super December 2019
    Kaleigh ·
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    That’s my thought!! The only thing I’m asking my BM’s to do other show up than the day of is come over when they get their dresses, because I’m paying for alterations and the alteration lady asked to take all the measurements at once. So 🤷🏻‍♀️
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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    My BMs were free to do as they pleased after the ceremony was over. I can’t imagine someone telling me I needed to stay multiple nights at a hotel to see them off for their honeymoon.
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  • Emily
    Beginner September 2019
    Emily ·
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    No you ask them to be in your wedding party! Once you reception is over there is no longer a wedding party. So I completely agree that bridesmaid would be done answering to the bride. Cause personally at the end of the night your not a bride anymore your a wife. There duties are over, in my opinion.
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  • ArwenToHisAragorn
    Expert October 2018
    ArwenToHisAragorn ·
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    I don't think anyone in the wedding party has to answer to the bride at any point leading up to/on the day of/after the wedding.

    You're not required to do ANYTHING other than wear the requested attire and be there on time. Pre and post wedding festivities are completely optional. That's crazy.

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  • OG Gretchen
    Super June 2018
    OG Gretchen ·
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    Once pictures are over, they are on their own. They don't have to do any duties at the reception, and they don't have to clean up your venue. That's the work of hired, paid help. Not your friends and family. Nobody has to spend days after the wedding with you either.

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  • NVV2B
    VIP January 2019
    NVV2B ·
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    Your friend is being ridiculous. For us - all of our events, other than the rehearsal and wedding are optional. We would obviously love for everyone to be at all our showers, and parties but we get that their lives do not revolve around us and our wedding.

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  • queenbee
    VIP October 2018
    queenbee ·
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    Definitely ridiculous for her to be demanding that you guys stay for their honeymoon sendoff 2 days after the wedding. That’s crazy. Buy your outfit, show up, those are your duties when you’re in a bridal party. They’re your friends and you love them, sure, but your life can’t be on hold for 3 days for all of their activities. It’s cool to want your BP to be at brunch the morning after if they’re staying at the venue. Free food! But to tell them that they have to stay 2 days after too for something that they’re not needed for? Nope. Just tell them you can’t. If they get mad, they need to check their priorities.
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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
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    Yeah, no. I wouldn't stay, especially if it meant I had to take more time off. Your bridal party is there to support you, once you say "I do" and take some pictures they are free to live their life. I didn't ask any of my bridal party to help set up on Friday and I didn't ask for anything else other than for them to spend the day with us and stand at the alter to support us. We have BM and GM traveling from OOS to come to our wedding so they're not required to come to the rehearsal if they can't make it and we aren't doing a day after brunch so they can leave the next day if they need/want to without feeling guilty about missing something.

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