Bridesmaid wants to have her birthday party after my wedding

I don't think it's something to be upset over. I'd be upset if she and your guests were planning to leave your reception early for the party. But if it is truly after the reception is over, then so what? It will be fun for her to go celebrate her birthday when she is already all dolled up as a bridesmaid.

Is your wedding date her birthday?

If the wedding is over, who cares? It's a birthday party, not like she's having a wedding after your wedding or like it's during your wedding.

Her birthday is 2 weeks before the wedding date. I just thought it could have done on another day. I obviously can't go to her party and would think her mind would be on preparing for her party and not enjoying the wedding and supporting me. She has said the party starts at 7pm and we don't leave the wedding till 7.30pm

I agree if the reception is over then it should be fine...I would go party with her kind of like a after party type of deal since she is a friend (bridesmaid)

I think it's a bit weird, just because why not enjoy two days of parties instead of one? But I guess if her hair and make-up will already be done... I can see both points of view. And, let's be real, you really can;t do anything to stop her.

I don't think there's any need for her to stay until the very end of your reception; it would be another matter if she wanted to leave in the middle of your ceremony. And don't worry about having her concentrate on "supporting you"; it doesn't take a lot of brain space to stand there in a dress.

I think just give her a hug, wish her a happy birthday and get on with things. By 7pm, you'll probably be so happy at how your wedding has gone that you won't care at all anyway.

With the additional info you provided, I would probably be annoyed. If her party starts at 7, then she is leaving your reception even earlier than that. Will a lot of your guests (friends) be leaving with her? If so, then it is inconsiderate. I would have a conversation with her about how you feel. I don't see why she can't push her timing back a bit so that her party starts after your reception ends.

If it's after y'all leave, I don't see an issue.

If she's having it while your reception is still going on, that's weird.

I would be annoyed too, not much you can do about it though

Yes it's weird, but let's not act like a Special Snowflake about it. She's allowed to host her party on any day she wants. Sorry you can't go, but don't get pissed because its not just YOUR day. Sometimes life gets in the way and you have to plan things on days you'd rather not.

That's annoying. Will she be inviting any of your wedding guests?

That is annoying, but if she is set there is nothing you can do.

That's definitely strange. If you're close enough of have her be a bridesmaid, you'd think she'd want you at her bday party. I know I wouldn't want to have a party without my closest friends. I also imagine she'd be too tired after all the wedding day to enjoy her own party.

But like others have said, toy can't really stop her so I guess you can just wish her a happy bday and enjoy your first night as husband and wide.

Really? This is upsetting to you? There are way bigger problems in the world than this. Where I live weddings end at 12 or 1 am and they do after parties so look at this as an after party and go and have fun.

Life is too short to be upset over this

That's annoying as hell. She couldn't select the day after? I would be rolling my eyes

@RusticQueenB simmer down you're trying too hard to fit in with with the "vets".

I think it's very inconsiderate especially since her birthday is two weeks before your wedding. She can pick any other day. Like it's told on here you only get one day! So her choosing your wedding day for her birthday party is not cool in my opinion.

I think it's just weird in general that she wants to have it two weeks after her birthday anyways. It sounds like you aren't planning an after party. If you aren't planning an after party and it will just be you and FH going off to a hotel or something, why would it matter? If you wanted to have an after party, you need to let her know that you would prefer her to do it a different day because you planned on continuing the celebration.

ETA: If you are planning an after party and she decides to do it anyways, most people would probably choose to spend the evening with you because life expectancy says she will have probably 80 in her lifetime.

I was confused about how the Special Snowflake comment was relevant...

Anyway I think you have every right to be annoyed.

I'd only have an issue if she's leaving the reception early for the party. Because as a bridesmaid, I would think it's important for her to stay for the full event. Maybe the compromise is her pushing it back an hour or two so that guests aren't leaving to go to her party, if any of the same guests are invited to both. If none of the same guests are invited, then whatever. She'll leave to go to her party and you'll be enjoying the last bit of your special day. Don't let it be something to take away from the joy of your day.

I'd wonder about her as a person/friend because it would make me curious why she needs to have it the same day. Is it truly a matter of convenience/scheduling OR does she struggle with allowing anyone else to have the spotlight for a day and needs to do something to make herself feel special as well. But again, while I'd be wondering about it, I wouldn't let this ruin my mood for the day.