Bridesmaid Pulls Out 2 months before wedding

I'm sorry this happened, but it honestly doesn't sound like there would be another solution. The reasons age gave sound perfectly valid in my opinion.

Like PP, I don't think there would be a solution. It sounds like she's overwhelmed in her life and this is one thing she can put down.

Be a friend first and a bride second. It sucks, and you have every right to feel upset, but the reasons she gave sound valid.

View Quoted Comment 100% agree. Maybe reach out in a text and just tell her you understand. Be compassionate to what she’s dealing with too.

View Quoted Comment To add more prosective, everything is done. The dress is paid for, it just needed to be taking in a little since se lost weight. I am not having any showers or Bachelorette events. So its literally would be her showing

View Quoted Comment I have reached out, but she has now ghosted me. Its just hurts when ive literally seen her make time to do the things she wants to do. Like go out of town with a guy she just met. I guess its hard to put into words all the backstory. I have been an extremely understanding and flexible bride....although the reasons sound reasonable, I just have a gut feeling that its more too it taking how our relationship has changed since Ive gotten engaged...its hard to explain I just feel uneasy about it but after putting everything into context its probably for the best that this has happened..we will see

View Quoted Comment I’m sure it’s hard for you and I’m sorry this happened. It’s just that you may never understand why she did it so try to move past it and just focus on your day. I’m sure it will be perfect t even if she isn’t there. 😊

View Quoted Comment Completely agree. Your friend is obviously going through a lot and is feeling too overwhelmed to partake in your wedding. Luckily, you said you are not having any pre-wedding events (shower, bachelorette party, etc.) so her not being a BM will really not affect anything (ie, she is not planning anything that will now not be done or someone else will have to take over for her) - it will literally just be one less person in the WP. Continue on with your wedding as planned, and enjoy your celebration! Reach out to your friend and let her know you are sorry for everything she’s going through and you understand that she is too overwhelmed to be a bridesmaid, and if she feels up to it, you would love for her to attend the wedding as a guest.

View Quoted Comment Yeah she made it clear in her text she doesnt want to come at all. I reached out, its nothing left for me to do

Part of being overwhelmed can protecting boundaries in a very heightened manner - it’s possible she feels that if she talks to you, you will try to persuade her into changing her mind. She may be at an emotional/mental place where she can’t handle defending that boundary, so wants to avoid the confrontation.
Once she has time to process that you were understanding, concerned for her and wanted her to do what is best for her in a rough time, she will probably reach out. But it sounds like she is pulling in all her resources to take are of herself right now.

I'm sorry about what happened. But honestly, you lost me at her grandma was in the hospital this weekend. A phone call would have been ideal, but she probably texted then ghosted you because she knew you'd try to minimize her issues and problem solve, the way you are now. She probably can't handle this right now.


I know all this is frustrating, and there's more backstory to this, but it's clear your friend has much bigger problems than you do right now.

Maybe she is worried about Covid since her grandmother was in the hospital and her grandmother would be more susceptible to Covid if your friend came to your wedding then saw grandmother. Depending on how you responded could be why she's now ghosting you.

It honestly just seems like she's going through something personal in her life & don't wanna deal with extra things which is understandable

View Quoted Comment Thanks everyone for your feedback. I reached out just concerned with her grandmother and her mental state. She then decided to revealed the true reason she pulled out, which involved something that happened years ago involving another friend who is my maid of honor. My gut said there was something bigger which I think is jealousy over my friendship with my MOH. Unfortunately, we can no longer move forward as friends based off what she told me. Again thanks for everyones input.

View Quoted Comment I don't understand why you can't remain friends with her. She isn't required to be friends with your maid of honor or anyone else in the wedding party for that matter.

View Quoted Comment Because my bridal party was selected in 2019, she waited until 7 weeks before my wedding to basically say she doesnt like/jealous of my MOH and drops out. Everything else she orginally said was a cover.

It sucks, i'm sorry. especially cus it is down to the wire.

but it sounds like she has so much going on and needs time for herself or time to commit to other more important things. i would just say you understand, hope she could still come as guest, etc. and try to be there for her.