Bridesmaid issues

Has she given you reasons as to why? One of mine can't make it to anything except the rehearsal (which is the night before the wedding) and wedding

I get that people say they aren't obligated to do anything but stand next to you, but come on. I wonder how it makes the other BMs feel? I don't care if any of them go to stuff with me, but for the shower that they are hosting to back out last minute AND not go to anything else sucks. I would show care and concern for your friend, see what is going on with her and if she needs help as a friend with whatever is going on. I understand your frustration, and while I wouldn't kick her out of the BP, I would talk to her as a caring friend.

People are always quick to say what your BM aren't obligated to do. Which I disagree with because you felt it was an obligation to pick those specific people due to the fact that in your mind you feel they're the ones that are true to you, sooo you THOUGHT. My opinion is do what you feel is best because you shouldn't have to cry sad tears because deep within someone you call a friend had disappointed you on many occasions. If you know it's worth trying to see what her issues are then do that. Only you know your friend.

Am I the only one who can't wait to be a bridesmaid? I'm having a lot of fun planning my own wedding but I can't wait until I can help with someone else's.

Why the hell would your bridesmaids go with you to look at venues??

It sucks that she says she'll be there then bail a few hours before. But all you can do is trust she'll be there for the one thing that actually matters. And if she doesn't show up, oh well, you have one less bridesmaid. Probably one less friend, too.

Does she have a reasonable excuse why she can't attend? Or is it something unavoidable?

Wow. It seems like you are kind of expecting a lot here. The last wedding I was in I helped plan the shower and I planned the bach party. I didn't go dress shopping with her and I definitely did not go looking at venues with her. Be reasonable, yes she is in your wedding but you only get one day, not the entire planning process.

If it weren't for my little bridal party FB group, I'd never get together with my bridesmaids as I live in a different state.

Your bridesmaids are not your entourage that is expected to dote over you and cater to your every whim. They're your friends. Your friends that you've asked to be next to you on your special day. Calm down.

I have to agree with other people on here, that your BM's are not obligated to do anything except be there on your day.

I personally have 2 out of 5 BM's that do not live on the same island as me (I live in Hawaii), and I'm not requiring them to be here or there because they live on another island. If they decide to throw me a shower/bachelorette party/etc. then great (I'm not asking for any of this btw)! But just because one or a few BM's decided they wana throw a shower/bachelorette party/etc. I'm not going to be upset/sad/rethink whether they should be on my BP because certain BM's cant make it.

They're adults and have their own lives with bills and work. I would totally understand why they can't come. It was my decision in the first place to have them on my BP, and since they accepted knowing their responsibilities/commitment that came along with accepting, I'm just happy to have them stand by me on my big day regardless if they can make it to all the little events or not.

In your situation, I would say don't even think twice about it. If she can't make it..then she can't make it. Don't turn not being able to come to your bridal shower, into "because you didn't come to by bridal shower, to look at venues, or come to pick out my dress then you shouldn't be on my BP because Idk if you can commit or not". To me that's a little mean. I'm sure she knew what she was committing to when she accepted being a BM on your court.

Did you have some sort of agreement with your bridesmaids that they had to be there for everything? If you did you should ask your friend if everything is okay and see why she hasn't been doing the stuff you agreed on.