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Michelle
Rockstar December 2022

Bridesmaid expenses and expectations

Michelle, on June 13, 2022 at 7:46 PM Posted in Planning 1 24
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What are you asking them to cover financially and what are your expectations of them that are made clear when you ask if they want to participate? Are they responsible to pay for just the dress, or the hair/makeup, accessories, etc in addition or are you able to cover those costs for them? Are they responsible for hosting pre-wedding parties (local vs far away trips) or are you leaving that up in the air?

24 Comments

Latest activity by Nico, on June 20, 2022 at 3:46 PM
  • Imani
    Rockstar July 2022
    Imani ·
    • Flag
    My MOH is responsible for her hair because she’s not using the same person I’m going through. However, she offered to pay for my makeup as a wedding gift, but I told her I’d pick up the cost for her since I asked her to be my MOH. It’s one of my gifts to her. She’s also hosting my bachelorette party - but she’d asked everyone who’s attending to pitch in $40 each and they were all okay with it.
    • Reply
  • Leslie
    Devoted December 2022
    Leslie ·
    • Flag
    My expectations for my bridesmaids are to cover the dress expenses ($109). I am not requiring their hair and makeup to be done so that’s completely up to them if they want to spend more on that. I also don’t expect them to host any bachelorette party. I’m also not requiring any specific accessories so they can use what they already have if they want to. I didn’t make the expectations/non-expectations clear from the start because I didn’t think it was a lot of money needed to contribute, but I would make it clear from the start if I wanted them to spend over $200
    • Reply
  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    My only expectations of my bridal party is to show up and have fun! I am covering the cost of their attire, hair and makeup. I made it very clear I did not want a bridal shower, and thankfully they have respected my wishes. I also didn’t want a bachelorette party, because a lot of the ones I’ve been to are just not my vibe. But my MOH came up with an amazing alternative to take a trip to Universal Studios, and I am beyond stoked!
    • Reply
  • G
    Dedicated September 2023
    Grace ·
    • Flag

    I've not officially asked everyone yet, or talked about everything yet. However, my plan is to pay for their dresses and not require professional hair or make up. So I expect they'll do their own. Accessories are a personal choice, as are shoes. I'll give guidance, but I really don't care and would rather they be comfortable. Due to my living across the country from a couple of them, I'm not expecting any travel except for the wedding itself, which pretty much eliminates a bachelorette party. And honestly, I may offer to help cover some of their costs for the wedding, because the hotels in my area are beyond expensive (imo). Maybe I'll have some quiet get togethers with my local friends, but I want to be the least demanding as possible. People have lives, and I can't expect huge financial sacrifices for this. It's my wedding, not theirs. My only ask is to come to the wedding and celebrate with me.

    • Reply
  • Jasmine S.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
    • Flag
    I covered their hair and makeup while they paid for their own outfits. I gave them almost complete freedom (just specified that I'd like the dress to be within a certain color family) so they were able to pick something within their own style and budget. My sister did have to travel from overseas to attend, so she paid for her own flights, but she's my sister so she would have done that regardless of if I had given her a role in the wedding or not.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    My bridesmaids paid for there dresses (all different styles in the color cinnamon from David’s Bridal) they are also paying for there own shoes (whatever rust tone they decide to go with and they will also all be paying 175 to have there makeup and hair done. We will be splitting the cost of the hotel for my bachelorette which I don’t mind ! On my wedding day I’m going to gift all my bridesmaids bracelets to wear .. not only will they match our colors but they are just pretty to wear everyday if they please ! My maid of honor is my best friend, then I have 3 bridesmaids which are my sister and my 2 soon to be sister in laws .., They honestly just go with the flow 🥰
    • Reply
  • Monique
    Rockstar October 2022
    Monique ·
    • Flag
    Hi Michelle my bridal party paid there own dresses and etc. By me begin the bride all of them have gotten a discount on their dresses and accessories. And my girls will also pay for their hair as well I gave them styles that I know that will look on that person and I let them be free with there nails as long its goes with our color. We have took of there accommodations
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Rockstar October 2023
    Kelly ·
    • Flag

    My wedding party has to pay for attire, but they get to choose what to wear. I'm paying for everything else.

    • Reply
  • Ashlee
    Rockstar September 2022
    Ashlee ·
    • Flag

    I asked my girls to pay for their dress (we're using azazie, so i told them color and length and they can pick what they want). Shoes/jewelry I told them a color but didn't have a preference so they could wear whatever. Hair/makeup are optional so they can pay extra for those if they want. All of them said they're going to do both, so as part of their gift I'm covering one of them. I didn't require them to attend or plan any events, but they chose to.

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  • Marlee
    Dedicated December 2023
    Marlee ·
    • Flag

    I'm covering as many costs as possible because (a) my bridesmaids are my 22y/o sister and my FW's 16y/o cousin, and (b) I want to avoid conflict with the 16y/o's mother. For attire, my self-imposed guideline is that if I have a specific requirement, I should pay. For example, I'll probably buy the dresses. But I don't care what shoes they wear, if they get make-up professionally done, so those purchases are up to them.

    My FW and I have other people in our lives who want to throw bridal shower(s), and my bridesmaids can be as involved as they want.

    • Reply
  • EGD
    Expert September 2022
    EGD ·
    • Flag

    My girls were only asked to pay for their dresses, I gave them the color I wanted and told them they could pick any dress they wanted in that color from Azazie. Shoes and accessories are up to them, but I did buy them all a matching necklace as one of their gifts but they aren't required to wear it on wedding day.

    I'm covering Hair and Make up day of for those who wanted it.

    I told them the Bachelorette and Bridal Shower were completely up to them, I did not care either way but it seems my MOH spearheaded that.

    • Reply
  • E
    Devoted February 2023
    Elycia ·
    • Flag

    They're all covering their dress expenses (azazie so it can be $80 or $150), their makeup if they opt to get it done professionally. I am doing my own and allowing them to choose to do their own. They will need to have their own shoes, but I don't care what they wear as long as they aren't tennis shoes/cowboy boots. Any accessories are up to them, but they can wear or not wear whatever they want. I am footing the bill for everyone to get their hair done professionally.

    All my bridesmaids live out of town so we are doing a bundled weekend with my bridal shower and bachelorette. My mom and sisters are planning the bridal shower and we are planning the bachelorette as a group since it's happening in my city. I would expect that they foot some of the bill for their hotel and things if they can make it, but they certainly dont have to pay my portion. Although a few rounds of shots would be nice lol.

    One of my bridesmaids just graduated from law school and one is in between jobs so I made sure to lay this all out as plainly as possible when I first asked all of them so they could agree with all the knowledge they needed. I've been sharing plans and vendors continuously with them so they can keep track of pricing.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    What are you asking them to cover financially and what are your expectations of them that are made clear when you ask if they want to participate?

    - their own attire - but i let them choose everything lol like i didn't even dictate the color

    Are they responsible to pay for just the dress, or the hair/makeup, accessories, etc in addition or are you able to cover those costs for them?

    - i asked everyone if they needed help in any way, let me know! i feel like if you know they can't afford it or need help then that's definitely something can at least help with ya know?

    Are they responsible for hosting pre-wedding parties (local vs far away trips) or are you leaving that up in the air?

    - i did leave that up to them if they could. i expressed i do want a shower and a bachelorette but that i am more than willing to help the costs, help plan, etc. and i did help!!! for my shower, my husband let them use his family's backyard and i supplied all the tables and chairs and even some of the prizes for the games


    i feel like i was really open to helping them if they needed, cause i knew at the end of the day it was all for me anyway. i've been a bridesmaid myself and i was equally grateful to be able to choose my own attire because i chose some really cheap stuff haha.

    • Reply
  • Paige
    Rockstar October 2022
    Paige ·
    • Flag

    The only thing I asked was that they cover their dress. I picked out 3 styles I liked that sort of looked cohesive and would be appropriate for our church, and they all ended up liking the same one. They can choose their shoes, accessories, nails, etc., and they had the option to get hair and makeup. They all opted to get hair and makeup done, so I might cover that as a part of their gift if I have the budget for it.

    • Reply
  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    They were responsible for nothing. I think it's crappy to "honor" your best friends by making them pay a bunch of money to stand up in front of people! I purchased their dresses, hair/makeup if they wanted it, and would have paid for lodging but they were all local so stayed at their homes. One BM offered to throw me a small shower, which i accepted, but there was no obligation or expectation whatsoever.

    • Reply
  • Ciara
    Savvy December 2022
    Ciara ·
    • Flag
    I only asked my bridal party to pay for their dresses. I picked out 9 different styles in the same color and length that were within a good price range for them to pick from. I’m not requiring professional hair and make up, but I am paying if they want their hair done since I’m hiring a hair stylist. They can wear any accessories and shoes they want. I was not expecting showers or parties or anything like that, but my MOH offered to throw my FH and I a Couples Shower and a combined bachelor/bachelorette party with the wedding party to go bowling. I really just want everyone to be comfortable, get to spend time together, and have fun.
    • Reply
  • W
    Dedicated June 2022
    Whitney ·
    • Flag

    I asked them to buy their own dresses. I'm covering their blow-outs, and they have the option of using my MUA but they'd have to pay their own fee. I made it clear that I'd pay my share of the bachelorette, and I told my MOH that I didn't want a shower.

    • Reply
  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2022
    Christina ·
    • Flag
    My bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses/shoes/accessories. I’ll be paying for hair/makeup for all of us. I do not want a bridal shower. They can throw me a bachelorette if they want to but I’m honestly not expecting it.
    • Reply
  • Janna
    Dedicated July 2022
    Janna ·
    • Flag
    I’m just asking my MOH to cover her dress. I didn’t have a bridal shower, and it’s just the two of us, so no bachelorette party. She’s going to have her hair done, which I will pay for as one of her bridesmaids gifts.
    • Reply
  • H
    Beginner August 2022
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    I only have a MOH. She’s paying for her own dress and shoes. I’m paying for her makeup. I might gift her earrings or let her wear what she has. She’s coordinating a bachelorette party but no shower.
    • Reply

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