bridesmaid dresses

I would talk to her so maybe be going through something you’re not aware about.

I think you may be reading too far into this. Keep in mind that no one will be as excited for your wedding as you. Another thing to remember is that your bridal party has other things to focus on other than planning your wedding, bach. party etc. Your wedding isn't until October, so there's plenty of time for her to start planning your bachelorette!

Also, remember that if you 'read the signs' and you remove her as the MOH and maybe replace her, it could be a friendship ending move. Unless both individuals mutually want that to happen, demoting/removing a member of the bridal party NEVER turns out good. I'd reach out to her and just make sure she's doing okay, and if there's anything going on that would cause her to act distant.

She’s your best friend right? So just calmly communicate with her. Don’t attack her and say that she’s not doing what you want her to, just ask her how she’s doing with her life, if she wants to take on the bachelorette party etc. If she’s not good at planning she might just feel overwhelmed and afraid to let you down...


Also like someone else said, no one will ever be as excited about your wedding as you. People shouldn’t be expected to drop everything going on in their life for your wedding so I suggest cutting her some slack, communicating with her and remembering that she is your best friend for a reason. Don’t let your wedding ruin such a long friendship

Your MOH and bridesmaids only job is to buy a dress, show up, and support you. While it's common for them to plan your bachelorette party, etc, they don't have to. They have other things going on in their lives other than your wedding. If your MOH isn't good with planning, do you really want to put her in charge of planning something anyway? You should have a conversation with her on what she can and can't do and maybe ask other bridesmaids to help you out if there are things she can't do

View Quoted Comment I totally understand what you are saying and I get that NO ONE WILL BE MORE EXCITED ABOUT MY WEDDING THEN ME. I got engaged 4th of July 2020. I WIULD NEVER ASK NOBODY TO DROP THERI ENTIRE LIFE TO FIT MY NEEDS BUT WHAT I DO EXPECT FROM MY BEST FRIEND IS THE SAME SPIRITS I SHOW HER ON ANY OCCASION. I never asked for her to be overly excited but show some type of enthusiasm towards your bestfriends big day. I AM LITERALLY THERE FOR HER FOR ANY AND EVERYTHING!! Anything about the wedding I ask her it's like she doesn't care unless it was about her dress and her hair. Everything else is too much for her apparently.

View Quoted Comment Again, she’s been your best friend for 20 years. I’d guess that means she has been there for you time and time again, remember that. Talk to her about how you’re feeling so you can both be on the same page. We’re still strangers to your friendship on this page, we can give you some advice based on what you wrote but that will never be as good as actually talking with your best friend.

View Quoted Comment Thanks alot for your input on the situation.

I'd first talk to her about the issues and see where it goes from there, unless she hasn't ever really been a supportive good friend.


I had a best friend of like 15 years, 5 years of our friendship she was a really great friend. Once we graduated high school however she became a horrible friend. Ditching me all the time and knocking me down every chance she could all because she was jealous. My engagement was the final straw with her. And I finally ended up dropping the friendship with her.
So I'd say you know her better, if this isn't normal for her then talk to her. If it is normal for her then demote her.

View Quoted Comment Melanie is spot on. This extra stuff isn't required, you choose a maid of HONOR as exactly that- an honor. You shouldn't choose someone based on what they can/will do for you. You choose them because you can't imagine anyone else being by your side that day.

View Quoted Comment I would def talk with her. Maybe you can meet up for lunch or girls night and just really see how she is, focus on her and her life. There could def be some stuff going on in her world rn that makes your wedding sit on the wayyy back burner in her life. I had slightly similar with one of my MOHs, I asked two of my best friends and one of them was excited for us when we got engaged but we really didn’t discuss much wedding stuff from there on out. Initially yea but then it seemed as time went on she lost total interest. My other MOH tried including her with planning things but with little response or engagement. Turns out, her and her bf of 4 years whose son she helped raise from 4y/o to 8 were going through some stuff and they just split. She literally has moved 1000 miles away to her friends house w her dog and trying to pick the pieces of her life back together. She never really divulged that they we’re having issues except slightly near the end but looking back now it makes sense given all that was going on in her world plus 2020 in general why she wasn’t very involved in things. We also talked and I just told her I want her to be moh and I will help make that happen if she needs it but if she’s not mentally or emotionally ready given what’s going on and wants to back down I would never be upset with her and she can be as involved in the day and festivities as she wants without any pressure to and she chose to step down. And it was a good conversation with no hard feelings on either end.

Also for now with planning maybe see if some of your other bridesmaids have ideas and want to help with it, they may be more enthusiastic about it but I totally get how your feeling. I’d just remember no one will be as excited for this day as you and your future spouse. But def talk w her and see if you can get some insight on what’s going on her life rn

I'd first talk to her about it, see what the problem is. You don't know until you ask and if you assume and read the signs you could hurt her and potentially ruin the friendship with her.