Bridesmaid Dresses

When agreeing to be a bridesmaid, it's understood that they would need to absorb some of their own costs. All of my girls paid for theirs, one of whom is mother to my FG and paid for her dress too, without any complaints. To make it even more cost effective I wasn't strict on shoes, accessories, or hair/makeup. Whatever they had would work for me. In return I'm giving gifts and treating to some other things during the year (dinners out, bachelorette hotel, etc).

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HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA. Sorry, but that's funny, why would you ask someone else what your budget is for yourself? She clearly either misunderstood or is trying to find a way to pass the cost on to you. Easy way to handle this is say you can't afford it, wish you could, and if she can't purchase the dress you understand and still want her as a guest at your wedding!

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I agree with all of this, and I wouldn't normally turn to an app to get advice, but I did give her multiple chances to opt out due to her not being comfortable with her size or financial stability because she had mentioned both to me privately. But she continued to say yes although I told her that it wouldn't cause any issues and her and her husband would still be invited either way if she decided to decline. I've also offered to pay the difference in cost between her dress and the others as well as taking care of her alterations if necessary

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Exactly. I told then all I care about is that they're all floor length to cover their shoes (because I'm also letting them choose whatever shoes they want), and that they're all the same color.

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I'm pretty much giving all my girls free reign on their dresses. The only things I've asked of them is that they're all the same color, and they're all floor length to cover their shoes (because i'm letting them wear whatever shoes they want).

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Mine are also choosing their own with very limited guidelines. I told them they could do whatever shoes they like, but the dresses have to be floor length so they're covered, and I asked that all the dresses be the same color. Other than that I just want them to all be comfortable in the dress they choose so they aren't standing up there in front of guests, the photographer, and the videographer feeling nervous or insecure.

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Exactly lol. They're able to choose whatever they want as long as they're floor length and all the same color. I thought paying for their hair and makeup would be enough considering that's already extremely expensive

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Agreed. The only things I care about is that they're long dresses and the same color. They can do whatever shoes, hair, makeup, accessories, ect. that they want as long as there's just something done to their hair and faces to make it look like some effort was put in.

View Quoted Comment That’s what I said. 😆😆 I told my girls, “I trust you to be adults and to look like you care”.

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This is what I did for her. I offered to help as much as I can and to pay for any alterations she needs, because I don't agree with the way plus sized women are treated in the world of bridal fashion. I would hate to be excluded from something if I were plus sized, simply because everything I need costs more than skinny girls. But at the same time I wish that she would have taken into account any financial struggles she was having or that could occur in a year's time before she just leapt to saying yes to the offer.

It's very typical that BM's pay for their own dresses. I personally hate that Idea and did pay for all my girls.

In your case, I think it would be nice of you to offer to pay the difference between what the other girls are paying and what she will have to pay for the larger size. I think that's a good and fair compromise. You certainly don't HAVE to, but I think it is a small gesture that would go a long way and not break the bank for you.

No, traditionally, bridesmaids buy their own dress. What I don't understand about your bridesmaid is her attitude about paying. She has at least 6 months (probably longer) to save for this dress, if she can't just come up with the cost all at once. She could save just $20 out of each paycheck and probably have it saved in 3 or 4 months. That's not really that hard for most of us. I know I easily fritter away at least $20 out of each paycheck. Maybe approach her with this plan, or if you can, pay for her dress up front, and have her make payments to you ($20/paycheck) until it's paid for. I think you should also give her the option of stepping down, if she doesn't feel she can afford the costs associated with being a bridesmaid.

No my bridesmaids paid for their own dresses and own alterations. They knew right from the start that the dress was one of the things they were responsible for.

I absolutely did not pay for my girls' dresses. However, I did allow them to choose any dress (in their color) from our chosen store that fit them in style and budget. Part of being a bridesmaid (at least in my area and with every wedding I've attended....!) is expecting to pay for your own attire. If the bride offers to pay, that's great, but usually the dress is their responsibility and if they cannot swing it, they politely decline.

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses, but I ordered them from China! They cost $35 each and were great quality and gorgeous. The bridesmaids dresses from bridal boutiques are coming from China anyway and have a way longer wait time, so I highly recommend this to everyone.

I've been in 5 weddings. Two the brides picked the most hideous, godawful dresses known to man, 1 the bridal party got together and picked, and two the brides said here's the color, go find something you can wear again. I paid for my own dress for every one of them. I have heard of brides offering to pay the difference over a certain amount, but never the whole bill.

And just my opinion, but in this case, I'm not sure I'd offer to pay the difference for only one bridesmaid. That's likely to cause bad feelings among the others.

I am not planning on paying for the dresses, but I will give them the color and fabric needed and let them buy whatever they want. As long as the dress fits the color and fabric, it’s fine!

All of my girls are paying for their dresses, and I would expect to pay for my own if I were in a wedding. If she can’t afford it she shouldn’t have said yes to being a bridesmaid.

Honestly, it sounds like you’ve been pretty upfront with her and even offered a little financial help. I don’t think you should feel bad at all for not buying the dress outright, you’ve already done plenty to try to make it easier for her.

We’re not planning on buying our bridesmaid dresses, and I’m not requiring hair or make up. We do have one bridesmaid that’s mentioned not wanting to spend too much though, but won’t give me an actual budget. I’m trying to coordinate the bridal party but she’s on my FW side, so I’m not entirely sure what their conversations have been. I did send some dresses for her to look at and just said it “should be fine”. I’m trying hard to keep costs at a minimum for them, but it’s frustratinf having her complain and not actually give me anything to go off of!

I was a wedding planner for the better part of 6 years and typically brides do not pay for their bridesmaids dresses. I chose to pay for mine because one of my bridesmaids is my 16 year old daughter and my maid of honor is my future daughter in law, and neither one is financially able, either by age or design, to afford to do so. Since I paid for these two, as well as my future grand daughter's flower girl dress; I did not feel right not paying for my other bridesmaid's dress. Most of the time, however, this is not the case and the bridesmaids buy their own dresses. The only time that this is different is if the bride chooses to be generous and pay for the dresses herself. If you cannot afford to buy the dresses do not let someone make you feel guilty.