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Just Said Yes May 2021

Bridesmaid Dresses *opinions needed*

Kb12, on December 27, 2020 at 8:23 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 9
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Backstory: my future sister-in-law had twins on Nov 30th so I wanted to try and find a bridesmaid dress that could be ordered in Feb/March timeframe to feel more comfortable ordering a dress. Wedding is in May. She told me not to worry about it etc but I wanted to be considerate. I have checked the Colors at Azazie and just do not like the color swatches at all. Not the color I am going for. She is now almost at her pre-baby weight only 1 month in! So I feel ok asking her to buy a dress in January.

Another BM and I went to Bella Bridesmaid and they told us they only have 2 brands that would make it in time for a May Wedding and can be ordered no later than Jan 10th. Well the dress we picked is $270! They didn’t tell us this so I was a little upset. While all my girls will pay this, I definitely can’t ask them to pay that much for a dress.

The swatch and dress I LOVE is from Revelry but we would need to order by Dec 31st. This dress is $185.

Three questions/opinions: Is this too much to ask the girls to pay?

I am paying for hair and makeup. They will buy shoes to match, but keeping it under $40.. They all said they will pay whatever amount etc etc but we all know secretly nobody wants to pay a ton for a dress that will never be worn again but always do it for the bride and it comes with what we signed up for.

I found a “dupe” so to speak of the revelry at Kennedy Blue for $125 and you could order at a later date. I don’t love the color as much but this dress is $65 less than Revelry. They have this brand at Bella Bridesmaid but wouldn’t let me look at! After the appointment I went on direct their website you can rush order for $15 and get the dress by March 12th. Needless to say, I was annoyed.

Do you think the extra money is worth the color I absolutely love and can’t get past? I have

Sample colors of both in person.

If we do go with Revelry, is it too soon to ask them to buy a dress in 4 days? If so, would it be appropriate for me to ask for sizes and pay. Tell them to pay me back by a set date to offer more advanced time for payment based on my procrastination.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Hanna, on December 27, 2020 at 1:09 PM
  • D
    Savvy June 2021
    Dani ·
    • Flag
    First of all, I would never return to a store that had a dress you are interested in but wouldn’t let you see. I’m not sure if that has to do with the fact that it was much cheaper than the original dress you wanted and they want you to spend more, but that’s the first assumption I make. I would not go to that store again because that is deceitful and dishonest. Anyway, I think that you need to have an open discussion about it. How do you feel about the price point if it were you? you could also offer to cover the extra $65 or whatever it is to make them more comfortable. but in the grand scheme of things it’s your wedding and $65 is $65...
    • Reply
  • Kerin
    Super February 2021
    Kerin ·
    • Flag
    $200-ish for a dress and shoes is not something I would be upset about paying for the wedding of a close friend or relative, so if $165 is the dress you love, go for it, but personally, I would not want to give any $ to a company I felt intentionally didn't work with me. I think the lack of trust with that business would be enough to make me ok with the color being slightly off 😉
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    If it was me, I wouldn’t go back to that store. That’s a lot of $$$, especially after the holidays, to spend on a dress that (as you pointed out) you’ll only wear once. As Dani said, put yourself in their shoes.
    • Reply
  • Sharon
    Expert September 2021
    Sharon ·
    • Flag
    Have you discussed any of this with your girls and gotten their opinions? See what they think. They may be fine spending the extra $$ or they may be fine with ordering one right now. You may be stressing yourself out over this decision that might easily be made with one conversation. Definitely don't get back to that other boutique. They didn't seem very helpful.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I would discuss this with all of your bridesmaids
    • Reply
  • K
    Just Said Yes May 2021
    Kb12 ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    So they are all fine spending the money it’s more of the fact I don’t want to ask them to pay that much. I guess that’s more where I’m struggling! It’s all family and my best friend in the wedding party (sisters & SIL).

    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    Personally, I'd really consider choosing the less expensive dresses that are "close enough," especially if the color is in the same ballpark. Honestly, every color/fabric is going to look and/or photograph as a different color in different light, so they can pay twice as much for a dress in your "exact dream shade" and end up with it not looking at all like you expect in your photos.... Unless the members of your wedding party are well off financially and typically don't really consider cost when making purchases, regardless of what they tell you, I'd try to choose something as reasonable as possible. If the dresses are long, you might even consider just giving them a color of shoe and let them wear whatever they want (including a pair they might already own). Daughter asked her BMs to wear closed-toe nude colored shoes with their long dresses; some wore flats, some wore stilettoes, but they didn't show in any photos so it didn't really matter.

    Also, I agree with others that I wouldn't deal with the Bella store that wouldn't even show you a dress they had in stock...that's just bad customer service.

    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Rockstar November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    Personally, I would just choose the less expensive dress that does not have to be ordered right away. Right after Christmas (and during a pandemic nonetheless, when funds for a lot of people are more scarce), may be a difficult time for people to drop that money with only a couple days notice. Plus, as someone mentioned prior, colors won’t photograph exactly the way they appear in person (especially not after they are edited, filters applied, etc.). It also gives you more time to continue looking- maybe you could find another designer that carries a color you really love that doesn’t require your girls to order their dresses on such short notice.
    That being said, it’s your wedding and totally your call! Maybe you could talk to each of your girls and just say hey, we found a dress we love, but this is how much it costs and it would have to be ordered within four days. I totally understand and won’t be at all upset if that is too short notice, just trying to see how everyone felt about it. If they are all on board, then go for it!
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    Large franchises like Bella Bridesmaid always mark up their prices a bunch--that's how they stay in business. The same thing happened to us at Brideside. They were charging $250 for the bridesmaid dresses we liked, so then we went directly to the Dessy website where they carried the exact same dresses, and ordered them for $150. I'd check the designer of the dress that you liked from Bella Bridesmaid and see if it can be ordered elsewhere. $310 (for dress and shoes) is rather extreme and I wouldn't be so happy having to pay that as a bridesmaid. $185 is definitely a lot more reasonable so I'd go with that one if you can. Otherwise, see if you can find the same dress from Bella's elsewhere for cheaper

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