Bridesmaid doesn't want to wear makeup?

View Quoted Comment You're right most people do wear makeup but it still doesn't mean that someone without makeup is childish and unpresentable. Lots of women don't wear makeup and still look very presentable even at a formal wedding.

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And also, the way you conduct your wedding is totally up to you. Just because you went for a personalized look for all of your bridesmaids doesn't mean doing it another way is wrong. Great for you for letting them do what they want and wear what they want, most brides don't. Your way isn't the "right" way, your way is YOUR way. Trust and believe when I say that you are not intimidating any brides by trying to make your way out out to be the correct way to be a bride.

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This so much! Why is it so hard for her to just put on makeup for one day? It isn't like her personality magically changes when she has makeup on. It isn't her wedding, so why is she creating a fuss over an easy request? It isn't her day.

If wearing makeup is so hard for her, why not just be a guest. She would have had some idea of what she was getting into.

View Quoted Comment Ah, yes, I’m trying to intimidate brides into letting their friends be individuals. To clarify, it is a formal wedding, and my wife is fully capable of “getting herself ready,” which doesn’t include makeup or a dress. Welcome to 2021, women are allowed to wear pants and bare faces now. We can also have jobs and vote. What a time to be alive!

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From your wedding pictures, it doesn't look like your wife would be one to put on a gown or makeup - which is more than fine and this isn't in any way disrespectful to her, but you can't use that as an argument in this post when that's not an accurate representation of what is being discussed. No one is saying someone who simply does not wear makeup or dresses isn't beautiful. I would never ask my bridesmaid, or even guest, to wear a dress or makeup if they weren't feminine and comfortable in a dress or in makeup. Your wife's friend would be completely out of line to ask her to wear a dress if she doesn't wear dresses. That doesn't even depict this post one bit.

You're creating your own argument and totally missing the point of this discussion to try to prove your own point. Again from a previous comment, this post is not that serious and kind of humorous to use as a reason to try to argue women's rights or where we are today as humanity.

Sorry, but your point is totally invalid to this particular post. Have a great day!

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I agree with this. No one should ever ask someone to alter their physical appearance. That is not the acceptable criteria of being picked to be a bridesmaid. Formality should not even come into the equation.

Seriously though, why is there so much pressure that you must wear makeup or you aren't pretty? People can say all day "that wasn't what I meant" but nearly every post says she must suck it up. It sounds like the bridesmaid is better off finding out her "friend"'s true colors now and backing out of everything.

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Agree with this. Let bridesmaid be her own person. She obviously was chosen for a reason but the appearance has taken priority

View Quoted Comment Exactly. I'll say what I seen just about everyone comment on every other post about bridesmaid appearance and that is that these people we brides choose to stand next to us aren't props for the perfect wedding picture, they are our very close friends and family whom we should respect. Just because they are in our wedding doesn't mean we should treat them like our personal barbies dolls and tell them to suck it up when they are uncomfortable cause it's my wedding, do as I say cause I'm the bride and you have to. I get that brides want them to look or be a certain way but at the end of the day we choose these people because we love them and couldn't imagine our day without them by our side not because they will make pictures look good for social media likes. Not saying everyone is looking for likes on social media. Sometimes we have to set aside what we want for the comfort of the people we love.


I wanted my bridesmaids to all match wearing the same exact dress. 2 bridesmaids liked this cute spaghetti strap dress the other 2 didn't care for it and my junior bridesmaid who is growing into a young lady didn't feel comfortable wearing a spaghetti strap dress. I could have forced them to wear it and tell them suck it up it's my wedding. But at the end of the day I'd rather my bridesmaids be comfortable and confident in what they are wearing and how they look so I decided to let them pick their own style dress and they all look beautiful and great together.

View Quoted Comment OMG, you are completely missing the point. It is not about wearing what you normally do on a daily basis. This bridesmaid has already made it clear that she does not normally wear dresses on a normal basis. She does not usually do her hair on a normal basis. She has compromised on both of those items for the wedding in order to meet the formality of the event. Wearing a beautiful dress and having her hair done will more than meet the formality of a wedding. It is absolutely not necessary for her to also wear make up. And the point of the matter is she feels UNCOMFORTABLE wearing makeup. So uncomfortable, that she expressed it to the bride. If this wasn’t a serious issue for this bridesmaid, she would not have brought it up (evidenced by the fact that she gladly changed her every day look and agreed to wear the dress, shoes and hair). In this very specific situation, the bride most certainly would be overstepping by insisting the bridesmaid wear make up. It is not overstepping providing make up for the BMs, offering make up service for the BMs, asking the BMs if they would like to wear make up, or even requesting them to. What IS overstepping, is forcing them to. Maybe this BM has sensitive skin. Maybe she hates the way she looks in make up and doesn’t wish to stand in front of a crowd feeling ridiculous. Maybe she has appearance issues. Maybe this person does not self identify as a woman, or “womanly”. We do not know her reasonings for not wanting to wear make up, only that she has expressed that she will not feel comfortable doing so. And quite frankly, it is none of your business why. It is also none of the brides business why. The BM does not need to explain herself or her reasonings. Expressing that she will not feel comfortable should be enough for the bride to respect her wishes. If you had a BM who had body image issues or maybe just had a baby and still has a very large stomach from it, would you make her wear a skin tight spandex dress? I would certainly hope not! I would hope that you would understand how uncomfortable that would make her feel and allow her to wear something that she felt beautiful in. Sure, there are things that a lot of people “typically” do at weddings. But everyone should realize there are certain circumstances where exceptions should be made. Plus, I don’t understand how anyone could possibly feel good knowing that they made their loved one feel bad.

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The fact that you're camping out on this thread and writing novels to try to prove a point is hilarious to me. You have no idea the circumstances behind this post, the same as no one else commenting does. From the OP, this BM is not just against wearing makeup, she wears it but is not as feminine as the other girls from what I've gathered. I cannot imagine being in someones wedding and causing a fuss over mascara and lip gloss, give me a break. If this bride was asking her to actually alter her image, and I've seen this done, that's a different story. That does not apply to requesting her put on some eye liner or lipstick. Please stop writing me books over your opinion, it's a complete waste of your time and mine.

I'll just remain thankful for a group of girls I have who don't give me total crap over small inconveniences of theirs on my wedding day - the same as I've done for each wedding I've been in. It's not my day and I'll wear/not wear whatever is asked of me.

View Quoted Comment Oh honey, you are the one writing novels to everyone
who disagrees with your “it’s my day, my way“ entitled attitude 😂

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Ah, and it is indeed my day - and thus far, my way 😍

So obviously OP checked out awhile ago. I just want to bring another perspective. I sometimes wore/wear makeup. What often happens (not everytime) with me when I do wear makeup is that I develop a skewed view of myself once I remove the little eyeliner and mascara I apply. It can take me a few days to feel like myself and have the confidence to no longer wear makeup again. When I reapply it, I can feel silly and unattractive especially if others are wearing a lot. The funny thing is that I have always been complimented on my bare face. Most people think that I am actually made up until they see me in makeup. So what I'm saying is that to some people one day isn't a big deal. That's fine, but to someone like me, it has an impact on how I see myself which can last days or even weeks. Without knowing more about this person we cannot judge why she is uncomfortable.

View Quoted Comment Exactly perfectly put👏👏


Her telling the bride she is uncomfortable wearing makeup should be enough for the bride to respect the bridesmaids decision without judgment.

Taylor,
If you are doing a trial run then maybe see if she can at least decide for herself by then if she wants it or not. Maybe even come up with a compromise of just mascara, lipstick, and some light foundation. However, just understand that at the end of the day you cannot force someone to do something that they are not comfortable with You got this!

View Quoted Comment But did he also include foundation to even out that skin tone and cover blemishes? And some blush to highlight his cheekbones? And some mascara and lashes to make his eyes “pop”? He did the basic grooming that people do in their normal daily life. Why are women expected to do the basic grooming and then add all the additional to make them look better but men aren’t? Yes, even for weddings and formal events a person can feel beautiful and confident without makeup.

View Quoted Comment But men's masic grooming is different from women's basic grooming. My fiance has gotten a haircut like four times since the shutdown ended (and one bootleg one while salons were still closed). I haven't gotten my hair cut in almost 3 years. I also don't shave my face, which he has to do a few times a week. Personally I DO think men should wear concealer to cover blemishes, as I said upthread; I also think men should be encouraged to have skincare routines as women often do. Never said the bridesmaid should wear blush, just some foundation and lip gloss. Maybe some tinted Chapstick would fit the bill.

This is coming from someone who is steadily keeping up with this thread so she can comment on anything she feels the need to add her opinion/hype to. We live in a "if you don't agree with me, you're wrong" world - laugh about it and carry on, girlfriend!

Funny, I didn’t address you... yet here you are lol
And no, I am not working. I am blessed to have a fiancé that encourages me to focus strictly on my volunteer work and philanthropic projects. He just returned from business overseas and we are spending the next 2 weeks relaxing at my parent’s country estate. So I have all the time in the world “sis” 😊 He gets a kick out of me reading him some of these comments lol

View Quoted Comment Pot & kettle, sweetheart?