Bridesmaid Cost - how much can I ask them to spend?

You can't make them pay for pro hair & makeup. It should be optional.

@Rachel you are wrong. By standards of etiquette, bridesmaids pay for their dresses.

@Ashley if your bridesmaids are having a tough time, then the polite thing to do would be to tell them that you want them to purchase a certain color/style dress (a long red dress for example) and let them figure it out. They don't all have to match. Let them spend what they can afford.

@Ashley, I think you are doing a great think by letting them have almost free range on the selection. Unless you're paying for hair and make up they aren't required to have it professionally done.

I'm in for my bride's wedding...

$150 for the dress (and thank God I don't need alterations)

$80 for the shoes

$186 for hair and makeup

And that's just so far. And I live in a different state so I'm not including travel to and from... Thankfully, I can use the dress again for one of the military balls...

And Rachel says so- then it must be the thing.

I've been doing it wrong my whole life.

OP- Ask your girls what they are comfortable with- and go from there.

It's nice if you can pay for them- but it's not required.

I did ask them about hair and makeup and they all want hair professionally done and will do makeup themselves... The $100 is for hair. I'm not "requiring" anything, that would be an absurd bridezilla thing to do. I'm not even asking them to get the same gown or even the same color, just literally any shade of grey.

Sounds like you've nothing to be worrying about. You've given them control over what they spend and have pro hair and make up as optional - stop worrying and let your ladies handle this

And Rachel - I'm from the UK where it's the norm for bride and groom to pay for clothing of bridal party, it's also the norm to have a cash bar back home but you don't see me coming on here telling everyone to do it our way because I respect the customs here - try it sometime

I asked each one privately what they could spend and then planned around the lowest budget, to be fair

I've been a bridesmaid a few times and I pretty much have done whatever they asked. Hair, nails, shoes, dress... I paid for. Now that I'm getting married they don't have many options. My maid and matron of honor are doing my showers.

Honestly, we all went dress shopping and I had some styles in mind. I knew i wanted short and apple red so I had them try on a couple I liked but we all agreed it wasn't a good fit. So we all pulled a few more styles and found one everyone liked. I wanted them all to match and no one was upset by that, I just made sure it was a dress everyone was comfortable with. The shoes I found at DB for $15 on clearance and they purchased them. I guess etiquette says I should have but everyone I've been apart of I paid for them including the weddings of 2/4 bridesmaids so no one had an issue.

The hair I paid for as I wanted it a certain way and makeup was optional but everyone did it. I paid for jewelry as well

I did a lot of research for my bridesmaids, the dress I picked was $260 but I ended up finding it on another site for $150.

Bridesmaids are generally required to buy a dress and attend the wedding (travel). My BMs are paying for hair and makeup but it was an option for them- they selected it.

As far as everything else, I'm covering the rehearsal dinner, day of food/drinks, hotel room to get ready in, robes, jewelry, and gifts. They're wearing any nude shoe.

@Ashley then what are you asking??? It seems you already have everything figured out and when we make suggestions, you tell us you're already on-board. So how can we help?

Totally disagree with you Rachel.

I am in the US and my fh bought his own tux so I have no idea what this free tux business is about. Of course people are going to love any tacky practice that becomes the norm where someone else foots the bill for something you want - doesn't change the fact it's a burden on your friends.

Ask their budget. That's what I did and they were all comfortable with under 2 so I picked one for 160 and 20 for shoes

No offense... I have never met anyone who pays for any of their bridesmaids stuff unless if it's gifts and all that little stuff. If you can afford to pay for everything then you must be rich lol. My bridesmaids when we went to DB we talked about price ranges and what would be too high... My bridesmaids are also paying for hair and make up on their own. We just have been helping each other out if one falls behind financially.

We decided we are paying for the entire wedding party clothes including groomsmen. Also covering hair and makeup for BM's, flower girl, and both mothers. But it's just something we already planned for in our wedding budget. My thought was I've been a single mom most of my life. If I had to buy anything out of the norm to go anywhere I just wouldn't go and I don't want anyone to be in that situation for our wedding. But it's not something I think should be done. Either way is fine I'd just feel bad to exclude someone I like enough to ask to be a BM just because they can't afford it.

Please ignore Rachel's comments! Most brides cannot afford to foot the bill for their bridesmaids.. especially if you have several girls in the bridal party. Most bridesmaids know that they pay for their own clothing/shoes/makeup & hair (if they want it done by someone). Some bridal places will let you make payments on bridesmaids dresses (David's Bridal will not) and maybe you can find dresses from a regular store that can double as a bridesmaids dress? For shoes, I told my girls they could wear whatever style they wanted, I just wanted them all to be nude colored. Their dresses are covering them up for the most part anyways. For makeup and hair, maybe you have a friend that is good at that if they can't pay for it professionally or a cosmetology student? Hope this helps!