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Beginner April 2018

Bridesmaid broke my heart(UPDATED)

Kate, on June 2, 2017 at 11:07 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 49

So I chose to have 4 bridesmaids and tomorrow is the very first activity that I invited everyone to participate in, we are shopping for my wedding dress. Well one of my bridesmaids decided that today was the perfect day to bow out of her position, blaming a lack of finances and time. Although I'm...

So I chose to have 4 bridesmaids and tomorrow is the very first activity that I invited everyone to participate in, we are shopping for my wedding dress. Well one of my bridesmaids decided that today was the perfect day to bow out of her position, blaming a lack of finances and time. Although I'm glad she was honest, doing it through text message when she lives two blocks from me is heart breaking. I have been absolutely unassuming as a bride and don't plan on asking any of my party to spend more than they WANT to. There was never any pressure. Needless to say I am beyond bummed and don't want to bring this negative energy into my dress shopping experience tomorrow.

Update- I told her I am her biggest supporter and will be here for whatever she needs this year. I also invited her to get ready with me before the wedding and sent a picture of the dress I chose today!

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49 Comments

  • MrsO2017
    Dedicated June 2017
    MrsO2017 ·
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    She was probably avoiding you leading up to this because she knew she needed to tell you. Some people (myself included) are better at expressing themselves through writing than face to face. I understand being upset, but don't read any more into it than that.

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  • kahlcara
    Master August 2013
    kahlcara ·
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    I understand being disappointed and upset, but it sounds like she was trying to tell you as soon as she could. Give the girl a break! I'm studying for the Massachusetts bar right now, it's not for another 2 months and I'm studying probably 8 hours a day, every day (including weekends). Plus, I am only working part-time because of the time commitment. My bar prep course and the state fees are over $4000. I have student loan payments that are more than my rent starting in November, and if I fail (a possibility), I will likely lose my job, have to pay another $990 to the state, and be unable to work until June 2018, when results for the next bar exam will be out. If I had a friend getting married right now, I don't think I could do it either.

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  • Kristina
    Dedicated November 2019
    Kristina ·
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    "Very first activity" I can't wait for all of the bridezilla posts to come.

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  • E.V.
    VIP November 2017
    E.V. ·
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    I think you made a good call, OP! I'm sure she appreciates the support.

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  • Miranda
    VIP May 2017
    Miranda ·
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    In her defense, my husband just took the missouri bar exam. And for 8 weeks he literally studied 8 hours a day. Not exaggerating. And it cost him like 4,000 bucks to take and to take the class to prepare him for it. So she really probably doesn't have the money or the time. When he was studying for the bar exam I would see him at dinner time and then at bedtime, otherwise he was in our office studying all day. He passed though! Cut her a break. Bar exams suck.

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  • Jennifer VR
    VIP April 2017
    Jennifer VR ·
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    I'm so glad that you resolved this! As heart breaking as it was / is for both of you, I am glad that she can still share a special moment with you on the day. You will treasure that time.

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  • LoveLoveLove
    Super October 2017
    LoveLoveLove ·
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    Good job! I'm sure your understanding meant a lot to your friend.

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  • Deb
    Super June 2017
    Deb ·
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    It is awesome that she was honest, many times people aren't because they don't want to let the bride down, or they are embarrassed. Her texting you instead of doing it in person might of been the easiest way for her to tell you.

    Having her still included is a great idea Smiley smile

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