Bridesmaid and a baby

Well, in all honesty if she’s still nursing her baby, she should be able to have the baby there. If you’re having your FHs children there, there will be children at the ceremony and reception. I know it’s your day but if you want your friend to be a part of your day, then you should allow her to have her baby or else there could be hurt feelings. Especially if she’s exclusively nursing and not using bottles. I know when I nursed my daughter, she never took a bottle. I would have declined to be in a wedding if I was told I couldn’t have my baby there to feed her.

Breastfeeding isn't really a plight. If she's EBF literally no one else can feed her baby.

I am 100% all for kid free weddings but this is absolutely an exception.

Mothers with young babies who are still breastfeeding are the exception to the "no kids" rule, so you really can't tell her she can't bring her nursing baby without committing an etiquette faux pas.

If she's your best friend, hopefully you can just tell her! However, perhaps you can make an exception for her, a three month old baby is a hard age to leave them home or with a baby sitter.

" how in the world to I tell her, nicely, that I can't give her special treatment when she's already assumed she can bring the baby?

You don't. Breastfeeding babies are an exception to the no kids rule. At that age the baby will be sleeping most of the time and baby's Dad will presumably be present to take care of the baby.

Just let them know where he can take the baby if it does have a fussy period during the ceremony.

This is a duplicate thread. More responses here:

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/bridesmaid-and-a-baby/dcb52a446cc9f33c.html

You cannot ask her to leave an infant that young at home. If this is a cross you're willing to die on, expect her to drop out of your wedding.

And seriously, I think you need to adjust your attitude if you think your wedding is more important than a nursing baby. That isn't a "plight".

You can choose to have no children whatsoever, because it's your wedding, but expect there to be consequences.

I'm not trying to be flip. I'm genuinely asking if you've thought about what you're saying here. Are you really considering telling your bridesmaid she can't feed her baby because of your wedding? Do you get that that's what you're saying by refusing to allow her to bring her baby?

Being the only source of my baby's food > being in my best friend's wedding, any day, any way. Sorry, that's just the way it is for moms. You can do what you want but if you make her pick, she's gonna pick her kid. She is probably acting like she 'expects' to bring the baby because she would never assume you'd ask that they be separated.

Oh with all due respect can you live with your friend not being there because she has to feed her baby, can you live knowing that you may damage the friendship please allow her to come you'll regret her not being there

Im on your side. I don’t see why she can’t just pump and leave he baby with her parents for the night. Most babies that age go to day care anyways so I don’t see he problem with doing that for another day. As it gets closer I’m sure she’ll realize that it’ll be easier to not have the baby there and will be dying for a night away too.

Jessica, putting your baby in daycare to go to work is totally different than leaving your baby for the day to be in a wedding. And yes, most weddings are a full day for the bridal party. It's unreasonable to ask this of your friend and I think it will damage your friendship, no matter what she chooses to do.

View Quoted Comment Plenty of babies don’t take bottles, not all kids go to daycare, and not all mothers are “dying for a night away”. Some of us actually prefer being with our children.

OP, be prepared for her to drop out and maybe even end your friendship if you do this.

As the babies only source of nourishment, it would be rude to ask her to leave her baby at home. There are many babies who will not take bottles, and at three months old milk is their only food source.

Not all babies take a bottle, and not all women respond to a pump. It is not always as simple as saying "just pump some bottles" and leave her with a sitter.

OP, I am 100% on board with child-free weddings and had one myself, however I agree with PP's that in this situation, you really need to think about the entire picture. If her baby isn't taking a bottle or she doesn't respond to a pump, she may not be able to leave her baby because her baby may not eat for an entire day. It sounds dramatic but it is what it is.

If it helps, my husband and I took our twins to a wedding when they were 3 months old and they slept most of the time. That's probably what would happen with your friend's baby.

So I have a three month old baby right now and i bottle feed. But I would still be unhappy to leave her for a full day to be in a bridal party. A few months from now, yeah sure but not right now. Plus where is she supposed to store the milk she would need to pump throughout her day? She’s going to be a nervous wreck leaving her baby so long and worrying if her baby is taking a bottle. There is no way to know if the baby will take a bottle. Do you have a designated spot for her to comfortably pump?

Honestly I think you’re wrong for not supporting her desire to breastfeed her baby. You’re supposed to be her good friend but you are putting your own WANTS above her baby’s NEEDS

View Quoted Comment

Judgmental attitudes like this are why a lot of women still don't feel supported in the desire to breastfeed their babies. You have no right to say how this woman feeds her baby, or why she should make the decision she's making.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you a 100% @Nicole

Babies specially a 3month old is an exeption to the no kid rule,as a mom i feel like if i cant bring my nursing 3month old baby,im not coming to your wedding

View Quoted Comment Yes! Totally agree!