Bridesmaid and a baby

I have 2 pregnant bridesmaids too, both of them are my sisters! One will have a 3 month old when the wedding comes around, the other is due 2 weeks after my wedding. We are not having kids at our wedding and if she can't stay the whole time that's fine. I would hope that she can at least be there for a little to get ready and do the ceremony...but I totally understand if she needs to leave after that. Honestly though, would you rather her not be there or to have a baby there? I picked to not to have the baby. Just depends on your situation though. I just explained it to her like this, "We don't have anywhere that you can take the baby to if it starts to cry, it's a large property and it echos when there's noise. Also, this will be the first time all of the out of town family will get to meet the baby, I would like the focus to be on us today and not the baby. I totally understand if you can't stay the whole time, but I truly hope you can spare a couple hours to be apart of my special day". If you have an area the mother can go to if the baby acts up, then maybe you can compromise? Baby at the reception but not the ceremony?

View Quoted Comment So will you be comfortable if your sister chooses not to come at all? Babies at 3 months old still sometimes eat every 1.5-2 hours. If your sister is EBF, she won’t be making it to your wedding.

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That's totally fine with me! Her baby is her priority and my wedding is mine. I would never want to tell her well you have to be here and can't leave period. Heck no, if she can't come because she absolutely can't bottle feed or leave her baby unattended for 2 hours that's her decision and I 100% respect that. I'm not a mom and can't be so I have no right to dictate how she should feed her baby, or how long she should leave her for. I can however choose who comes to my wedding, and I'm not mad if she can't make it.

I would never ask my sister to choose between me and her baby and would never get married without making every attempt to have her by my side.

View Quoted Comment Clearly an unpopular opinion but I think the way you handled this is reasonable. Your sister is an adult, she can make choices about what she is and isn’t able to do with a 3 month old.

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Agreed. I know it's unpopular opinion, but her and I aren't close at all. I honestly feel she needs to do what's best for her and her family.

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To each their own. Her and I are not close at all (SIL not blood sister), maybe if we had a good relationship I would try to find a middle ground but we simply don't. If she can't make it, I've made it very clear that it's totally ok and to not stress about it.

You have to make the choice - is it more important to you that your wedding is entirely kids-free, or that your friend can celebrate with you?

I'm sure you have your reasons but this doesn't seem like something you need to be taking a hard-line attitude on. What do you think is going to happen? If the baby starts crying and fussing, see if you can make arrangements to make sure that someone (the father?) knows somewhere they can go to take the kid until they quiet down. Otherwise a 3 month old will probably just lay there and sleep and not bother you.

If you can't stand the idea of having a baby at your reception, accept that there is a strong possibility your friend will have to back out.