Vanessa
Just Said Yes August 2021

Bridesmaid +1 Etiquette

Vanessa, on June 11, 2021 at 8:48 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
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I'm having a small wedding in Las Vegas in 2 months. We decided not to give single guests +1s, but we were generous to give them out when asked. I did not know that it was customary to give bridesmaids +1, so the single ones did not get one either, but no one complained. Now, I have a bridesmaid who is asking me if this guy she is dating can come. They are not a couple and she makes it very clear neither one of them wants to be serious. They have only been hanging out for a month, but a year ago they were hanging out for maybe two months until he ghosted her. Should I let him come?
Our RSVPs were due about 8 weeks ago and she never showed interest in bringing someone until three days ago. I'm also concerned because she committed to traveling/rooming with another bridesmaid. I am mostly just annoyed by how she handled the situation.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Vicky, on June 12, 2021 at 9:41 PM
  • JM Sunshine
    JM Sunshine ·
    • Flag
    First of all, RSVPs should not be expected until 4 weeks before the event. Your wedding isn't until August! You really should not be anticipating RSVPs until July 6th. I would expect a bridal party, those of you are closest to, to be given special consideration above other guests. I do think your bridesmaid should be allowed to bring a guest.
    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
    • Flag
    I don’t understand how your RSVPs were due 4 months before your wedding...?
    I think everyone in the wedding party should automatically be given plus 1s, and if you’re giving them to others who ask, of course you should give it to this bridesmaid. It’s not your right to judge their relationship.
    As far as the the situation with the other bridesmaid she agreed to room with—not your problem. They’re adults and can sort it out.I don’t think she “chose” to handle this situation in a particular way to annoy you, she just happened to reconnect with someone she’d like as a wedding date two months before your wedding.
    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Agree with all of this.
    • Reply
  • Apryl
    Devoted March 2022
    Apryl ·
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    I agree completely
    • Reply
  • Carissa
    Dedicated September 2022
    Carissa ·
    • Flag
    I am confused that you said you were generous about giving out +1 to guests when asked, so why is it such a question if the bridesmaid should get one? It should be a certain yes for her if you've been giving them out to random guests when they ask.
    • Reply
  • L
    Lisa ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    That’s my question too. Why are you singling out the bridesmaid’s request for a + one?
    If it’s the rooming issue, let her know she has to find another room of her own (and own money) if the other bridesmaid does not want the extra guest (which is ****% understandable). That’s the only discussion that needs to be had.
    • Reply
  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
    • Flag
    While I’m normally of the thought that plus ones are completely optional, if you’re giving them to people that have asked you then you should give one to the bridesmaid too. It’s important to be fair.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah Online ·
    • Flag
    “We were generous to give them out when asked”. She asked. Just because your RSVPs were due super early doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve the same treatment as your other guests who asked.
    • Reply
  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
    • Flag

    Why on earth were your RSVPs due 8 weeks ago when your wedding isn't for another 2 months?!

    • Reply

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