Bridal shower vs. couples shower

We are having three showers. One for his family, one for mine in another town, and one from our church. All three will be couples showers. I also hate the games and really want FH to be a part of the experiences. All of the showers we've given for my cousins that have been married have been couples showers. I think they're more laid back and more enjoyable over all.

Who is throwing the shower? Also, every shower I have been to has included the groom in some form so I guess I don't really understand "couples" showers thing.

We did a type of couple's shower. The only guys that were there were: my FH and our two dads, plus my sister's boyfriend (who was the bartender - wine and regular beverages).

We had it at our town's train station (it's no longer in operation) and had a buffet option: chicken francesca, italian meat lasagna, penne a la vodka, salad, bread, appetizers (e.g. cheese, crackers, fruit, buffalo chicken dip, chips) and lots of desserts (e.g. ice cream cake, regular cakes, cheesecake, cookies). My mom, sister, one of my BMs, my cousin and aunts, as well as a family friend, COMPLETELY transformed the train station - it was GORGEOUS!

We were considering inviting some of the other men too (shower was in CT, in our hometown -- wedding is in NC) but we already were at 74 invitees with just the women, two dads, and FH. So we just left it at that.

The day was VERY hot/humid and we had no AC (just fans and opening doors to allow for fresh air to come in) - but then it rained and cooled down. No one complained though - they were all good sports :-) . We tried to get an AC, but they had regulations were the windows couldn't be opened due to how old the train station was, so old AC wasn't really a 'thing'.

I loved having my FH there too - to me the shower was a celebration of us finally getting married, not just a day to "shower" the bride. We did have some games, but they weren't the 'typical' games. My sister came up with great ideas: pictionary (and there were rounds), puzzle contest (the puzzles were pictures of FH and me as kids) - there were also rounds for this, a broomstick and toilet paper thing, guessing how many rose petals my FH gave me through the course of 10 years (I saved all the roses and my mom/sister counted the petals). We had prizes for the winners (lottery tickets, wine bottles and chocolate, Aveda essential oils (my aunt owns an Aveda salon), a jewelry holder for traveling, a free night at one of our blocked hotels on a day surrounding the wedding, plus another one (I can't remember it at the moment though)).

ETA: prize info.

My sister hosted my shower, no games and the only part FH had was to load and unload the car after from the gifts I got. Simple but very nice and only 2 hours.

Where I'm from couples showers are called "Jack & Jill's". Not the Jack & Jill where it's a fundraiser to raise funds (which I've never heard of until I came to WW). It's basically a co-ed shower. Pretty much anytime there's a co-ed party (bridal shower, baby shower or bachelor/bachelorette party) we call it a Jack & Jill.

You can also have a regular bridal shower that's just for girls and your FH can join the shower when it's time to open gifts.

The couple (wedding) shower I've been too, gifts from the registry were barely purchased. Instead it was more "fun" things like sex toys, liquor, mini kegerators. Things like that. DH went to our shower (wasn't a couples) and so did two of the GM...they kinda hung out outside and tailgated in the parking lot.

Also, I'm curious to what it means that YOU decided to have a couples shower and YOU decided to have a BBQ...you're not supposed to be throwing your own shower and asking people to come over and bring you presents.

My sister (MOH) is throwing us a wedding shower next weekend. I wanted FH to be a part of it, but also wanted to my dad and son to be part of it. We're having a dessert bar, with my family helping make our favorites. It's a great way to let everyone that wanted to be a part of it help.

We did this for my sister. Everyone raved about how much fun they had. We had a backyard party and everyone played yard games. Yummy food, fun drinks, music and hanging out with loved ones!!!

Have a female in your family throw you a bridal shower for female relatives, and have the couple's shower for friends.

@Matt - that was our thinking as well. I got the idea from my friend who got married in 2013 - her FH was there and it just clicked because it made sense. If the gifts are for the couple - shouldn't both parts of the couple be there?

My sister called ours a "wedding shower" vs a "bridal" or "couples" shower. Our invites were pretty cool - they looked kinda like old fashion train tickets (they were printed on tannish marbled cardstock..

The whole point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts. If you want to shower the couple with gifts go ahead and call it a couples shower or a wedding shower. But I don't understand the extra parties that everyone wants to have. "to me the shower was a celebration of us finally getting married, not just a day to "shower" the bride." That's what your wedding is for. Also, Why should there be a hundred little "were getting married" celebrations before the wedding? Just to celebrate you? How vein. I just don't get it. Eta: @Pinky clearly had a shower, my entire post wasn't directed at her, but more of a general statement about showers.

I have attended a few couple's showers from FH & his friends' mouths (not my opinion) most men dont like them. In FH's circle almost all baby showers are co-ed and most of the men stand in a corner some where talking about how they rather be somewhere else. So sort of like the way you dislike traditional shower is the way they hate attending couples showers. Unengaged men hate the added pressure (attending the wedding w/ a SO is hard enough for most men). And married me hate all the married talk. Why can't he have his own prewedding party?

We did! We live out of state from all of our friends and family, so when my sister wanted to host a shower, I told her we wanted it to be a couples shower so we could use the opportunity for us to be able to visit with everyone in one spot. It was fun! We had it at a restaurant in Tampa near the beach, played cornhole, drank, and opened a few gifts.

I went through this conversation just this week, as a married couple offered to throw FH and I either a couples shower or a ladies only shower. FH has heard me complain about boring wedding showers enough that actually attending one (he never has) didn't sound appealing to him. I also have single girl friends who would get excluded from a couples shower and I didn't want to do that to them, especially knowing that the guys would rather not be there anyway I'm sure. So... ladies only shower it is for me.

But - the host is fun and we won't play cheesy games. Probably the only game we'll play is bingo with the gifts, where the host makes bingo cards from items off the registry and they get checked off as the bride opens presents. It makes opening gifts way less boring.

My family is throwing us a couples shower in New Jersey. Its more BBQ style but we are only having 1 shower. They really wanted too & its going to be huge about 75 ppl. Like @KM said we are using it to be able to see the family in one visit. But we are doing like Girls vs. Boys stuff. Volleyball, lawn games stuff like that. We are really competitive so we can't wait

ETA: we aren't opening gifts though. Just because there will be so much going on.

@Kimberly - I never said I was having a bunch of "we're getting married" parties. We are only having (and already had) one shower. Maybe I should have worded it a little differently.

@Pinky I wasn't directing my entire comment towards you. That part was a general statement that people want to take the shower and make it something it's not.

I think a couples shower is a great idea. I would prefer to be invited to a couple showers vs a bridal shower. I hate the stupid games to. I agree with @Ruth. I always thought a Jack & Jill was a coed shower or bach party. WW was the 1st I ever heard of Jack & Jill being a pay for our wedding party.

@Kimberly - oh okay. Well thanks for clarifying. Our registry items were for the both of us, so we thought we should both be there. It also helped with the time spent on gift opening, because we could either open two gifts up at the same time or start opening the next gift while we were showing everyone else (by lifting it up high and acting like an 'oscillating fan') the gift that was just opened.

I have to admit that I am very fortunate, my mom, FMIL, and MOH/sister, really went all out for our shower. My sister was the MC and I really liked that she 'broke down' the gift opening (I think it was 4, 10 minute sections) - all separated by dinner or the games/prizes that I mentioned above. Since the shower went from 1-5pm, those who came were given a full dinner. All guests were given a 'thank you for coming' gift as well.

I am doing a couples shower! But it will be more of a cocktail party vibe (no games, except maybe a funny he said - she said type game to embarrass ourselves). The men will be free to stand on the porch or play pool for the duration of the shower. I think they are more fun for everyone.