Bridal Shower for Elopement

I wouldn't do this.. It's really nice you want to do something special for your sister but people invited to pre-wedding events will be expecting an invite. Plus, bridal showers are gift giving events. So, it comes off like "bring me a gift even though you aren't invited" even if you don't mean it to.

Yes you can however I would not make it a gift related event. I am having a minimony and my MOH threw me a bridal brunch. No registry or asking for gifts. People chose to get me something but that was their decision. We fed and gave alcohol to our guests so in a way it was a party. You could just keep it to people invited kind of bridal luncheon. However, if you do I would forewarn the guests of her plans and that you just wanted to throw her a little party for her to have fun.

It would be extremely rude to throw a shower and invite people who aren't invited to the wedding.

I totally agree! That surprise bridal shower should never happen. I can only imagine what those not really invited to the wedding when they found out about it after that bridal shower.

I have a lot of family are scattered in places where travel is hard, and also a lot of hubby and my friends are in different branches of the military. So tiny weddings with the couple away, few attending, and celebrating when they do come close to home or major groups of family and friends, are not just a covid thing, still forced by distance or a legal thing. Other than a bridal luncheon, it is very common to have Married Lady or Baby home showers. The shower hosts, when organizing it, say, the couple will marry/ did marry with only a handful of guests. But some of us who were not invited but wish we were, decided to have a party of all people NOT at the wedding, or not around when the baby was born 6 months ago want to do a shower now. If you would like to join us, ... usual invitation. It is like having a work shower, or your sports group or choir or neighbors do one 2 weeks or less before a wedding, when it is absolutely clear that there is no wedding invitation. Some people get together and give one gift, or give small ones. And others are the same gift they would have given for either a shower or wedding gift. Bigger gifts usually from closer friends or family. To me, as long as the hosts make it really clear that the event has happened, or will shortly without guests , then those who want to do it should. And as with a regular shower, the hosts NEVER tell who was invited but chose not to come ( standard etiquette.) And anyone who does not want to participate, does not.
But ones I have gone to, people invite 10-25 guests, not these whopper 40-70 people. So people truly close.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, this is a very helpful comment for my situation since I am obviously aware of standard etiquette of bridal shower guests also being invited, that's whybi have this dilemma. I do believe that we have friends and family that would still want to celebrate her marriage even though they won't be invited to the wedding and doing a small thing close to the wedding where it is clear that there won't be a wedding invitation allows them to decide if they want to participate. Thank you!