Bridal Shower: Do I invite the uninvited??

DO NOT INVITE ANYONE TO YOUR SHOWER THAT IS NOT INVITED TO YOUR WEDDING.

You invite only those who are invited to the wedding.

What you're thinking is right. It's really rude to invite people to your shower but not your wedding. You're basically telling them, "oh, you're good enough to come give me gifts but not good enough to come to the wedding/reception."

NO.

Only people invited to the wedding get invited to the shower.

Yes, you only invite those that are invited to the wedding. The bridal shower is typically to shower the bride with gifts. It's rude to have people buy you gifts but not invite them to the wedding.

I didn't do that. I invited ones that I couldn't invite. Just letting them know I was still thinking about them.

I don't think it is rude, unless the person feels that way themselves. I mean, they need to understand that you cannot invite everyone to a wedding, its impossible.

But, you can invite them to your shower so they are apart of some aspect of the wedding. That is how I feel anyway.

For any pre-wedding parties, it is proper etiquette to only invite people who will be attending your wedding.

It is rude. A shower is specifically designed to "shower" the bride with gifts. Do not invite them. If you would like to celebrate with your friends that you cannot include in the wedding, host a party for them not mentioning your wedding at all. It is salt on the wound to be invited to something wedding related but, not the actual wedding.

We're only sending actual invites to people invited to my wedding.

That said, in my hometown, it's expected that the shower is open to anyone. There's always an announcement in the paper inviting anyone and everyone. My sister had lots of the little old ladies who babysat my mom or who went to our church that came to her shower.

We are having a small wedding so my bridal shower is also going to be small. The point of it is for people to give you gifts so it's rude to invite people only to an event to give you a gift. However, I know plenty of people that get showers thrown for them by co-workers and other friends not invited to the wedding as a really nice gesture of love for the bride. Outside of that, don't do it.

@Trisha: people put bridal shower announcements in your paper? Never heard of that before...interesting (:

Just your invitees to your wedding. Everyone has that covered.

I would be offended if I was invited to a shower and not the wedding. Wouldn't you? It's like saying "you can buy me gifts, but you can't come to my wedding". It seems very rude to me.

Just in case those 700 replies weren't enough...it's rude.

@Beth, yeah I'm from a reeeeally small town of about 1,200 people. There's also Thelma's Grapevine. A half page where a woman named Thelma goes on and on about the happenings of the town, which is super uneventful, but exactly what you'd get if you let your grandma write an article in the paper lol

Wow, I must be a really rude person then :/

@Nina Yep...seems like it.

^^^^^^

Yeah....you kinda were.

@C&S, I honestly wasn't trying to be though! Honestly, wasn't!

@Nina, I understand your reasoning and I'm sure your intentions were pure, but if I were you I'd reach out to the people you invited that aren't invited to your wedding and let them know why you invited them to the shower. It will seem more personal. It's never happened to me, but friends of mine who were invited to showers and not the wedding were offended by it. Contacting them personally might head that off.