Bridal Shower: Do I invite the uninvited??

@Trisha, your town seems adorable.

Based on this, I better get my mom/MOH the guest list before she starts inviting randoms then!

A friend of mine got married but had a small wedding with only family present. She had a bridal shower and a registry and all of her friends got invited to the shower but not to the wedding. We all felt it was pretty rude.

"Thank you for the gift for the purpose of me getting married, but you will not be invited to witness said marriage."

Being only invited to the shower is basically asking for gifts but telling the person that they're not important enough to come to your wedding.

Just echoing what many have said already. Showers are a euphemism for a get-together to give the bride gifts. Inviting someone to your shower but not to the wedding is essentially saying "You didn't make the cut to attend the most important day of my life, but you can still get me a gift!"

Thanks to everyone for their responses! So....I got it, it's rude, so I won't do it. I appreciate the feedback. Even though I was told it was rude, I was thinking the same as Nina. I wanted to hangout, celebrate, and share my happiness with all my friends, even the ones I can't afford to invite. But Erica brought up a good point....there will probably be a few friends and co-workers who will throw me a shower apart from the one thrown by my bridesmaids. Thanks again!

Only invite those who are invited to the wedding.

I understand the reasoning behind wanting to invite people to "wedding related events" to try and include them, but you just have to take a moment and think about how that invitation will come across to the recipient regardless of what your intent was when you sent it.

Inviting someone to the shower can (and probably will) come across as rude. The sole purpose of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. By inviting them to the shower but not the wedding, it's like saying, "You are welcome to come to a party that is for the sole purpose of bringing me a gift, but you may not come to the wedding as we are only inviting 100 people and you just didn't make the cut.". Also, because it is widely known that you should not invite those to the shower who are not invited to the wedding, you will probably send the wrong message. A friend of mine was unexpectedly invited to a shower. She was delighted, bought a gift and happily attended. Because she assumed she was also invited to the wedding, she went and bought a dress and shoes and was excited for the wedding. She never was invited to the wedding and her feelings were pretty hurt by it. She never ever told the bride how she felt, in fact she thanked her for including her in the shower.

Nina, some of the girls have called you rude and I think that's a little harsh. But, while I'm certain you had the very best intentions, inviting some to the shower but not the wedding may have across as rude and inconsiderate to some people. Maybe most of your friends didn't care and were happy to attend and if so, that's great! But maybe someone also had their feelings hurt, and it's also possible that like my friend they would never tell you how they felt. This is why I say regardless of your intention of sending that invitation, you have to consider how the recipient will feel.