Bridal Shower Contribution

Usually the bridesmaids do "throw " the shower for the bride ,& host it as in plan and help pay for it. Is the bride asking for money ?? Or her mom ?? Be honest with her & tell her you'd be happy to help plan a shower for her but you don't fee right about just giving money , also let her know money is tight on your end

The Bride's sister is asking for money. But we had no involvement in planning of the shower. She just said "this is the date, this is what were doing, and I need $XX from all of you to help cover the cost"

Something similar happened to me. Its a tricky situation because the sister is probably assuming that you were expecting to pay for it but in reality you arent. If you arent helping to host it then I dont think you should be forced to help monetarily.

I think that's unfair. If things are tight between the bridal party then I think as a group you should come together and each pick different things to bring to the party rather than just putting in cash with no say on how it gets spent. Why can't the person in charge pick a different place, someones house or a park and then you guys just divvy up the responsibilities for cake, food etc.?

She definitely should have talked to you first so that sucks. Typically bridesmaids all pitch in, but costs should be discussed first.

However, one thing to consider is this could cause a lot of drama if you don't pitch in. (Not saying you have to) I've seen a lot of brides here post about how they have to deal with drama over bridesmaids fighting over money/not pitching in for activities.

I would so have loved to be involved with the planning process. She never asked for anyones help, or even that she was trying to plan it. But instead of my ideas being wanted, it's apparently just my money. I'm kind of hoping some of the other bridesmaids feel the same as I, so I'm not the lone man out here!

I agree, If you don't have any say you should not be expected to pay. I think that she needs to bring the group together and sit down to go over the details and let every girl have contribution. If she is unwilling to make changes I wouldn't fork over a penny. Totally disrespectful IMO

I would not give money to someone who planned a shower with no input from me. I hosted my sister's bridal shower and her FMIL wanted to help, so I let her purchase/make food and we were co-hosts at my house.

Heather - That thought has been going through my mind, to just shut up and pay up because I don't want to be the cause of a bunch of unneeded drama.