Bridal Shower- Ask Guest for Money to plan??

I have never heard of, nor seen, such a thing. Where I am from, this would be seen as incredibly rude.

That is definitely not a thing in our circles, but obviously they could be different. Do you have any married family members or close friends that can back your grandmother up on this?

I have never heard of this. If I were invited to attend a bridal shower as a guest and received a request from the host to contribute to the planning funds, I would find it a little rude.

I have also never heard of this. When you host a party, you’re taking on the costs associated with that party.

I've heard of asking the wedding party (bridesmaids, parents, grandparents, etc.) for a little financial assistance, but never general guests. When it all breaks down to it, a shower is a gift party, so I don't think it would be appropriate to ask guests for both a wedding/shower gift AND money to throw the party.

Never heard of this. Where I'm from, this would be seen as extremely rude. Where is your grandmother from? Are you located in the US? If I received an invitation to a bridal shower where I was asked to contribute a donation to the planning of the shower, I would probably decline

Customary where? Maybe she meant to ask family and the bridal party, like just to help out, but nothing formal. Has your mother ever heard of this before? I feel like something is lost in the translation between grandmother talking and you ordering invitation inserts. Shower invitations? It is definitely not customary to announce shower plans in the wedding invite. I would say get some clarification from grandma.

This would not be received well by many. What culture is this from? I’ve been to many showers in the West Coast and Deep South USA and never come across it. Traditionally and according to proper etiquette, the host offers what they can afford, usually cake and coffee in the host’s home. That applies to nearly all events. No expense beyond registry gifts should be guests’ responsibility.



It’s no different from hosting a regular party or dinner in your home. You don’t send invitations to anyone saying “please come over for burgers/steak/whatever but you have to provide your own meal and alcohol”. You either don’t have the party or you find something you can afford so they don’t pay their own way.

I've never heard of this and would be quite taken aback were I to receive an invitation with a donation solicited in it - and would think the inviter quite rude.

Hi but what wait we have too ask that of guest to attend my bridal shower wow??

I’ve never heard of such a thing. My sister, the maid of honor, did the planning, and she and my other two bridesmaids provided the food and decorations. As far as I know, there were no “donations” from the guests.

Oh ok now I'm caught up better yes it would be rude to ask your guest to donate unless they offer. No I won't be doing this we suppose to be going away if not the only thing they may have to pay is their own hotel rooms

Not sure what your grandmother’s background is, but in the US that’s not a thing and is actually considered bad etiquette. Guests are already bringing you a gift to a bridal shower, so to ask them to contribute money to hold the party would not be received well. I would suggest kindly advising your grandmother and mother of this and say for that reason, you will not be creating those invitation inserts.

That's definitely against etiquette. You don't host a party and ask people to pay for it.

That is tacky. Never heard of such a thing

I've never heard of this and would honestly be a little thrown off if I we're to receive this in an invitation

I've never heard of this like many other ladies commenting but I certainly don't see a problem with it. I would maybe word it as either give a shower gift for the house *or* donate towards the planning.


I mean let's be real; we are all shelling out a lot of money in both showers and wedding receptions so other people can enjoy food, drink, and entertainment on us. In today's times I don't feel it's wrong to expect some sort of contribution back whether it be in an actual gift or monetary form.

Please do not do this.

I wouldn't do it. I think a lot of wedding traditions that were maybe customary back in our grandparent's days just don't translate well to current times. Keep in mind, people used to get married VERY young, and often didn't have the means to pay for a wedding, they were literally starting their adult lives out. For example, my FH's great aunt was visiting us and we were talking about the wedding. She suggested we have close friends and family "sponsor" everything including my dress, shoes and even the cake. She said to make a list of wedding things we needed and ask family and close friends to pay for items on that list. She said that's what people did when she got married, and people understood it was a group effort. I politely said there was absolutely NO way I was doing that. She was married at 20 years old, so again, very different times (I'm 32 lol). Nowadays, people are getting married at a later age and are hopefully a little more established. I think it's rude to ask guests for contributions in any way. Any gifts or money coming in should be voluntary.

I have never heard of this to ask from guests.