Bridal party plus ones....

I didn't give my MOH a plus one or 2 of the groomsmen. They are all single and will be busy I really don't care if people think that's wrong but they will have to be at the head table anyways so if they found a random to bring they'd have to sit at a wedding full of strangers.

Why? Because being in a bridal party shouldn't seem like a 'job', and they should have the opportunity to enjoy the day with their significant other just like everyone else will.

A date can be at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner - I've never seen that not be the case and went with my FH and he with me to many. Getting ready the morning of the wedding is separate time, but I've used that time to hang with other bridal party members SO/dates (as they likely were my now FH friends SOs/dates). The bridal party is usually done with pictures halfway through cocktail hour so they see their date then. And I've never NOT sat with my FH at a wedding, regardless of which one of us was in the wedding. So I see him for most of the time and then for like 4ish hours of dancing and drinking (2 HOURS of dancing??? What in the world are you doing that you only get 2 hours of dancing) and then I get to hang with my FH at the afterparty.

And if none of that was true, I am giving my bridal party dates because they are the single most important VIPs at the wedding and I want them to have whatever they want to make their night the best. They are the people who have been by my side through thick and thin and have literally picked me up from my worst times to get me to my wedding. I honored them and want to treat them like honored guests. If I just wanted a prop for pictures or someone to do things for me, I'd have picked someone who I didn't like.

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding last month without a plus one. And yes I sat around for four hours at the reception bored out of my mind.

I think the real issue here is your outlook on your bridal party, not plus ones. First of all, if they’re in a relationship, it’s not a plus one and none of this is relevant. Anyone in a relationship should be invited to social events as a unit.
Second of all, why will your bridal party be busy for the entire 24 hours before your wedding? Doing what exactly? I can see a 3 hour rehearsal/ rehearsal dinner, which their guest should be invited to, but...what else?
I personally think separating dates for dinner is rude. There’s no reason your bridal party needs to sit at a table on display for the rest of your guests just to eat dinner, but I understand that this is an antiqued tradition that some still honor.
Often times dates of the bridal party meet at the rehearsal dinner and get familiar with each other so they have someone to sit and socialize with at the ceremony while their significant other or date is busy. Your bridal party is composed of your closest friends, you should want them to enjoy your wedding, not treat it like a job.

If someone expected me to spend 24 hours with them for their wedding, I’d kindly decline being involved. I’ve been in 5 weddings. My SO has been invited to the RD when I’ve had one or I’ve been given a plus one to both RD and reception. Day of was hair/makeup for a few hours, the ceremony, and an hour worth of pictures at most. After that, I’ve always been free to go eat dinner with my guest and dance/party with them for the remainder of the reception.

If you are asking them to buy a dress, rent a suit, etc...you should offer them a plus one...Why would you not want your best friends to have someone there to party and dance with?

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I was going to write just that. If I can't bring someone...and your asking me to be in YOUR wedding, I would decline too.

My bridesmaids spent a few hours with me before the ceremony getting ready and taking pictures. After the ceremony they were free to have fun the rest of the night and sit with their significant others and families. Also at the rehearsal dinner they were with their dates while I was greeting everyone. So the only time their significant others were alone was the morning/early afternoon of the wedding. Most of them slept in and got brunch before getting ready and getting on the shuttle. So I would disagree with your view.

I think the reasoning behind it is to thank them for all the work they've done for you.

Honestly I don’t expect my bridesmaids to do anything other than stand up with me and take some pictures. The rest of the time they should be having fun.

Our WPs plus ones are invited to all pre wedding events. Our WP will also be sitting among the guests so we dont have to separate them from their SOs.
Also I think its polite to invite a guest for them especially if your girls run in different circles and don't know each other.

Agreed with all the PP (by the way, just learned what PP means so I’m kind of proud of myself for using it correctly). We have 8 on each side and every single one of them is bringing their significant other. A few of them are actually married to or dating one another, so that was a given.

Yes, there may be a few times when they’re not with their person (getting ready, ceremony, pictures), but after that, they SHOULD be off, eating, drinking, dancing it up real nice. I’m not sure what else they would do during the reception other than having fun, or what would take up so much of their time that would only allow them 2 hours left in the evening to enjoy themselves.

Also, it’s common etiquette to invite your wedding party’s significant others to the rehearsal dinner. If they’re going to be “working hard” leading up to it, it’s a nice gesture to invite them so they can enjoy themselves and have a nice night out too.

If you haven’t already, I’d think about whether or not you’ve been really clear with your wedding party about your expectations. It seems kind of extreme to me. I’ve told my single MOH she can have any +1 she wants, even if she just wants to bring sister, because I love her and I want her to have some company. I’m going to have all kinds of family and guests to greet and it’s not like she’s going to be 100% occupied by me.

We aren't allowing dates for the single groomsmen. I don't want a bunch of strangers. We agreed to only invite plus ones if they are engaged or living together. Now FMIL is insisting on letting her nephew bring his new gf and we already way over max capacity so I'm so furious about that. Of course FH is like it's ok, ugh

If they’re married it’s a definite yes. If they are engaged or in a long term relationship and your budget can swing it, you should highly consider it.

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No one is saying it's a job, and also no one is saying my bridal party that's in a relationship won't have a date, but the day of from 12-3 bridesmaids are in makeup, (there are a lot and we have to travel for it) 3-5 we're doing hair and getting dressed, 5-6:30 pictures, 7 pm ceremony, and then we are actually eating separately from everyone else so they aren't even really being "sat" at dinner because we are eating upstairs while everyone else goes through the buffet downstairs (we aren't doing a cocktail hour because it's already such a late wedding, didn't want to be keeping people around until 12 am just to get some cake) and then going straight into pictures until 8:15/8:30 ish. Before the rehearsal dinner we are finishing up the flowers (DIYing all florals and bridal party that will be getting there early enough for that has volunteered to help) and then going for mani pedis before the rehearsal dinner (which like I guess a date could come to, but, why?) As far as the S/Os that are invited, I'm over here trying to call local places and see if there's any discount i can get for a group kayak rental or other activity that we can send the S/Os on so I don't feel guilty about them sittin around bored all day before my wedding.

The thing about being a bridesmaid isn't that it's a job, and no one is treating it like a job, but mine are awesome enough friends to be willing to give me the day.

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I'm with you girl. The majority of the entire bridal party actually does have a date coming but it's because they were in a committed relationship at the time we made the guest list and because literally all of those significant others are also friends to us. There are 5 of 15 that don't have a plus one - two are literally 14 and 16 so obviously they don't need a date, 1 had just broken up with her long term bf and i didn't expect her to have another one by now (we only had like an 8 month engagement) and the other two are perpetually single. It also is really interesting to me how many people responding give me the impression that their entire BP isn't friends with each other. Like, ours for the most part all are friends... so why would they need a random ass date when they can literally just hang out with each other considering they're all friends anyway

View Quoted Comment You are the reason your bridal party doesn’t have time for their date, not the fact that they’re in a wedding. Having the couple and your bridal party eat separate from the rest of the guests is incredibly rude. At what point will you actually interact with your wedding guests?

You absolutely should decide who is invited to the rehearsal dinner. No one cares who hosted the dinner, you’re the one who will look rude for excluding people’s dates.

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I'm not sure what everyone is even on about with the SO obviously you would give plus ones to everyone in a serious relationship but who wants random dates at their wedding? If I don't know you I don't want you coming.