Black Tie

View Quoted Comment They just renovated the entire hotel during lockdown. It looks much nicer.

I don’t mean to be rude, but if you read the other comments you would know our intentions of sprucing it up. A wedding is much different than a bat mitzvah, as I’m sure you know. As I said though during quarantine they redid the entire hotel. Thank you so much for your opinion though 😊

I would go with whatever you two want. But like others said if you want to name it black tie make sure you have all the other components as well

I think it's fine to wear a nice black suit, black tie and white shirt to a black-tie event. If you're okay with this, maybe offer them this option.

If FH is concerned that his family may not be able to rent/purchase a tux for your wedding are you prepared to either not have them at the wedding or put them in the position to be underdressed? FH’s feelings on this are just as important as yours so be sure his concerns are being addressed.

View Quoted Comment We talked about it and he wants it black tie too. The thing is- they can afford it, he’s just afraid they are going to be annoyed. A lot of them would also have to rent suits, so I don’t understand why he’s worried.

Normally we are both huge people pleasers, but I explained to him that this is the one day we don’t have to really please anyone. I know that sounds awful.. but we both agreed that we really just want this one day to be our vision.

View Quoted Comment WHAT?! I cannot believe somebody had the audacity to say to your face that they were taking notes on what NOT to do at their wedding!! 😱 If that is not rude and classless, I don’t know what is! If you are making statements like that, you better be delivering an insanely amazing, over the top event! (which, from the sounds of it, she definitely did not LOL). For what it’s worth, I have seen the pictures of your wedding, and it was gorgeous!!

I can seriously not imagine anyone arriving at a wedding in a suit or cocktail dress and being embarrassed to find other guests in tuxes and floor-length gowns. It's fine to want a fancy wedding, but I don't think you can use "trying to keep people from being embarrassed to show up in a suit" as a reason to make black tie required.

Just be clear with your expectations and honest about your reasons. and as long as you and your future spouse are OK with family members not attending due to the restrictive dress code, then proceed with your planning. I would personally not attend because of the expense of buying a formal, single-use gown and renting my husband a tux (plus travel costs), but you aren't inviting me, so that doesn't matter.

View Quoted Comment You’d be surprised. We didn’t really have a dress code requirement especially for our Welcome Dinner besides “don’t wear jeans, tshirt and flip flops”, but a good amount of people still wore suits and cocktail dresses. One of my MIL’s friends made such a huff how she was underdressed (she wore like a pretty maxi dress to our Welcome Dinner) and how we weren’t clear on our dress code. So basically it was our fault that everyone else was more dressed up than her. Lol.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your feedback Maggie! I will take it into consideration 😊

View Quoted Comment Ha Karla, I could see people in both of our families doing the same thing! They would definitely blame us 100%

View Quoted Comment

White gloved table service? Multi-piece live musicians? Top shelf liquor? Complimentary valet service?

Please read the thread, I’ve addressed most of this already ☺️

You need to discuss this with your fiancé and come up with a decision that you both agree on lol none of us should contribute to that call 😀 We had no confusion on what exactly we both wanted, so it made it quite easy.
Best wishes ⭐️

View Quoted Comment Thank you! We talked and realized that we want the same thing- he was just putting other people wants over his own. We worked everything out earlier today’ thank you so much ☺️

View Quoted Comment Right, but black tie also requires a live band for the dancing, top shelf ( expensive) brands of liquor, all china and glass and tablewares, servi g a multi-course dinner, valet parking. If you are having the more expensive and gorgeous service, then you can require black tie. But though wedding party can go in tuxes etc., even if not black tie for everyone, make sure you are up to the $150- $250 per person cost of such extra staff, more expensive food and drink ( expect $20 a drink) and the live band that you have to provide. It is not just clothes.

View Quoted Comment Have the wedding you guys want. If a black tie wedding is what you two envisioned. Have at it, I think his family will have a good time in the end.

View Quoted Comment Judith please see the previous comments

View Quoted Comment Thank you!