Black Tie

Do whatever you and him decide. If people dont want to rent tuxes and miss out in the event then oh well.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I was thinking the same thing initially, but I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being a bridezilla or that it was wrong of me to want a black tie wedding.

Are you hosting a black tie event? the groom, groomsmen and anyone in the wedding party can wear tuxes if that’s what you want, but unless you’re hosting a true “black tie” event, requesting that your guests dress in tuxes and formal ballgowns is not proper etiquette.


My wedding coordinator reminded me of this when I wanted to say my wedding was a black tie event. Haha

View Quoted Comment No as long as you let them know at least 6 months in advance and give them suggesstions on where to buy or rent affirdable tuxes then I dont see any issue.

You should plan the event you both really want, while taking into consideration what is most important to you. Make sure you are aware of what all goes into hosting a black tie wedding though- it is much more than just having people wear tuxes. A black tie wedding requires a grand venue (think grand ballroom, etc.), typically a valet, over-the-top decor & flowers, an extravagant cocktail hour, top shelf open bar all evening, multi-course plated meal, reception entertainment, etc. It is quite the financial undertaking.

View Quoted Comment I am hoping to make it a true black tie event I am going to write black tie on the invitation and yes everyone will be in gowns and tuxes. I also want to make it black tie because all of my family and family friends will be wearing their tuxes and I don’t want people to feel embarrassed or that feel they are not dressed properly if they are only wearing a suit. That is why I don’t want to make it black tie optional.

View Quoted Comment We have all of that.. haha

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much!

View Quoted Comment This. Also, can’t have a DJ, must be live musicians. Has to start after 7pm I believe. White glove service.


I once went to a wedding that was “black tie” and the bride and groom served us Hawaiian bbq buffet catered from a fast food restaurant. Didn’t have a champagne toast except for just the couple. Open bar was only beer and wine. Served cold pizza for appetizers. They also told us a couple of days beforehand that we had to pay for parking at a nearby lot and valet was only available for the wedding party.
I can’t tell you how many people I heard grumble and complain during the reception. It was awkward standing in a buffet line in a floor-length evening gown. Haha

View Quoted Comment Perfect! Most people think it will look cool in pictures to have everyone in tuxes and gowns, but don’t realize the level of hosting that is required for a black tie event.

View Quoted Comment Yikes! I think people are so preoccupied with the aesthetic of pictures that they don’t realize what is required for proper hosting.

View Quoted Comment Yup, as long as you are doing the full gamut for black tie, you should be fine.


We got automatically disqualified for black tie status since we hosted an early dinner at an outside venue.
Happy planning! I love a good black tie event!

View Quoted Comment That sounds interesting... no our wedding is going to have a cocktail hour with 2 stations and 8 butlered hourderves plated service, for dinner with multiple courses and tons of alcohol- the open bar will be open for a full 5 hours and will serve all different types of alcohol, whiskey, bourbon, rum, beer etc. since it is in a hotel, we are also having an after party that guests could come to after going to their rooms and change that will include more free alcohol and snacks.

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much!

View Quoted Comment Yeah their wedding was 3 weeks after ours and she told me at my wedding (mind you, this was the first time I had ever met her since her partner was a distant relative of mine), “I’m taking notes of what NOT to do for our wedding.”


I was so taken aback considering 1. It was rude and 3. our wedding was cost us 6-figures. So I thought her event was going be like Oscars-level black tie. A few days beforehand, the groom’s mom gave us the REAL scoop on what the wedding was going to be like though so I told my husband not to wear a tux and we ended up having to get a late night dinner afterwards. Haha.
We also did a private afterparty at the restaurant/lounge back at our hotel and the late night bites were much needed after all the dancing. Your guest will appreciate it.
Your wedding sounds fun!!

View Quoted Comment Haha yeah, her MIL gave my family the real scoop on what the wedding was going to be like and told us absolutely not to wear ballgowns and tuxes. She was so upset her FDIL was having guests dress up for picture purposes. She wanted to make her wedding “Pinterest-worthy”. I still wore a formal dress because I didn’t want to look out of place, but I spared my husband from having to wear a tux. Most people didn’t get the memo though. Weirdly enough... she posted like only a few photos of her wedding showing the guests.

View Quoted Comment I don’t want to bad mouth anyone, but that’s very inconsiderate! Also thank you! It’s not until June of 2022 due to Covid, but I am so excited to marry the love of my life!!!

It’s your wedding & your vision! If you guys want a black tie affair than go for it! Sounds great!

View Quoted Comment Thank you everyone- For all the support 😊

As long as you have the proper components that the PPs mentioned (live band, fancy venue, open bar with top shelf liquor, complimentary valet service, plated multi-course dinner, etc.) then go for it! However, and I really don't mean to burst your bubble, but I've been to the Radnor Hotel and I'm having somewhat of a hard time envisioning a black tie wedding there (I have family on the Main Line and went to a bat mitzvah party that was held there last year). Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely hotel and it was very affordable to stay there, but the ballroom was on the more casual side, in my opinion. If you go all out on the other components and really spruce up the decor, then you might be able to pull it off. But I certainly wouldn't make your wedding 'black tie' just for the sake of people wearing tuxes. Black tie implies a certain level of hosting, not just an attire