Black and white weddings

Please trust your instincts on this. Dictating the colors your guests can and can't wear is too controlling and the opposite of hospitality. It doesn't really matter if it's a "thing" somewhere.

Thank you, that's really how I feel. Them enjoying themselves is more important to me than having a "picture perfect" wedding.

It would just come off as the dress code right? Like putting "formal" is basically forcing people to wear dresses even if they aren't dress people. That's what I'd assume and I think a black and white wedding would be so gorge! Who doesn't own black or white?

So maybe the safest way to go about it is to put "black tie" on the invitation??

It's a small group of 70 so I'm thinking it's not completely impossible. Perhaps if I put it on my "save the date" that gives everyone plenty of time?? The venue is definitely "black tie" worthy.

Black tie isn’t even remotely the same thing as a black and white party. Black and white party simply means the attire must be black or white. Black tie refers to a level of service- valet, premium open bar, passed apps during cocktail hour, multi-course plated meal- and dress code (tuxes required for men, formal evening gowns for women).

View Quoted Comment You can do black tie then but most likely wouldn't be black and white but very formal!

I think it’s a GREAT idea!!!! I’ve seen it done at weddings and I actually wanted to do it myself (because black and white was my initial color scheme). At the time, I thought of adding something to the invitation and website that said something like, “Attire: Join in the wedding celebration by wearing either all black, all white or a combination of black & white”.

It’s nothing harsh and it’s nothing forceful. If people choose to wear another color, then that’s totally fine 🤷🏽‍♀️. I’ve mentioned this on a few different posts… I don’t fold to wedding “rules” and prefer doing things that are my style/personality and not from a Wedding 101 book. Lol. It’s wonderful to make your wedding different and not cookie cutter like every other wedding a guest has attended. So I say... do it!!!! 😄

You can simply let guests know, either on your wedding website, or on a detail card in the invitation suite that you're doing a "black and white" theme, and invite them to participate. It makes it optional, and a lot of guests will probably think it's fun.

Right, I get that it doesn't mean that everyone will wear black and white and I completely understand the level of service. I guess mostly other than wanting our guests to enjoy themselves I would like to also have a certain feel for our night if that makes sense. Trying to avoid the jeans and a nice top mentality. Lol

Replying to your post made me really think about how much I wanted that color scheme 🤔. Since we still have a long time to go (and nothing is in stone yet) I guess the black-and-white theme isn’t not totally off the table!! Thankfully my FH is also open to unique ideas that say “wow”.
Thanks for your post because it reignited my interest in doing black & white again. 💋🐩

I’ve gone to a black and white part before and I didn’t feel pressured. It’s easy to find something in those colors and you can write on your website “black and white affair- be even more a part of our day by dressing in our colors!”

View Quoted Comment You know your guests. If they’re fun then they’ll roll with it. If they’re stuffy then they may not. But when it comes to weddings, guests are generally happy and supportive. They won’t feel offended. Instead they’re going to be excited to participate.

View Quoted Comment Thank you ☺️ I guess it's all in the approach/delivery.

View Quoted Comment Thanks, I am really appreciating all the feedback. It's incredibly helpful in achieving my "vision" for our special night. ❤❤

View Quoted Comment My pleasure though I can't take all the credit for the idea. My Matron of Honor got me started on it. She said between the venue, my floral choices and my "vision of elegance" she thought it would be a neat idea. I loved it, just didn't know how to approach it until all of you helped me with your advice and perspective. Thank you 💋💋

View Quoted Comment Great idea!! Thanks Maggie 😊🎩

I am keeping my bridal party somewhat black and white (black dress and either pink or blue shawl for 50-60 degree weather) but the dress code for the event is dress casual. My fmil is asking for my help picking what she will wear to help coordinate for pictures but I am so lost on that one.

I don’t see anything wrong with requesting or suggesting “black or white or b/w attire.” I think that would be easy for guests and dang, those photos would look amazing!!!

We didn’t want to spill the beans on our pirate themed wedding so we suggested guests wear California casual/boho and then emailed them more details if they wanted. With only 15 close guests, several ran their dress options by us first.

View Quoted Comment Other than colors, is there a specific theme or "feel" your'e trying to capture? What is your vision?