Big wedding vs Small ceremony

You could do both. Friends of mine got married in Florida with just immediate family and then had a huge reception at home. The reception was very "them" including karaoke and both dads accidentally saying the same toast!

I really wanted a small wedding (like 50 people tops) but it was impossible with FH. There is something really special about sharing such a significant moment with only the people closest to you.

We have been in deep talks about lowering our guest list from 110ish to 58. I love the idea of just dancing and laughing with my close loved ones and cutting out A LOT of stress

We are doing a small wedding with around 30 people. When deciding who to invite I would think about who you really talk to. We are not inviting any extended family because we don't see or talk to them more than once a year or so. For friends we are only inviting the people we talk to on a regular basis.

Benefits to small weddings are less stress, easier to plan, and less expensive. With a small wedding you are also able to spend more individual time with guests.

We are having a big wedding (~200 guests). I am 75% polish and 25% Irish and grew up Catholic so I have never been to a wedding smaller than 200 guests and I have never been to a dry wedding. Honestly, I kind of wish that we were having a smaller wedding simply for the fact that I don't want to spend all night going around and thanking everyone for coming. I really don't find myself stressing over any of the wedding which is bizarre because I'm usually pretty type A, but I feel like I would be the same way with a small wedding. My FBIL and FSIL are having a very small, dry wedding (reception in the basement of a church with around 30 people) and it totally fits them. They are relatively shy and never want the attention on them. I think it really just depends on what you want and your personality

We were going to have about 200 people invited (that's small for my circle- my brother's wedding had 325 people RSVP yes....) and that was just too much for us. We were going to have to go cheaper on food and that wasn't OK. So, we cut the guest list down to 80 people and are serving better quality food at a place that takes care of everything for us. The cost is the same but the headaches are much less!

Yes, we didn't invite all of our family. We went with the idea that if we wouldn't take them to dinner and pay they were not invited to the wedding. That cut out a lot of people and I don't regret it. My dad is already telling people we are having a small reception and people are surprised, but OK with that fact.

Plan a wedding within your budget that will allow you to take great care of your guests. Everyone else will get over it. (at least we hope so )

We're having 20 guests our our wedding , I have a big beautiful dress an amazing photographer an amazing cake . Open bar and dinner it's the best decision for us

I originally wanted a big wedding with all our families but my FH wanted to go to the courthouse so we compromised and we're having 45ppl at one of the best restaurants in town. They happen to have a small event space that allowed us to do ceremony and reception together. I'm way less stressed (it's in 18days) and definitely looking forward to being able to spend time with our guests. #teamsmallwedding

@Celia-

The wedding you described is almost exactly the kind of wedding I'm looking to have. The vibe you described is my vision to a T. Do you have any recommendations for finding that type of "low key" DJ?

Im having a medium wedding and it is already a struggle! My goal was to invite 125 people but I can't get my guest list smaller than 150. Im starting to lean towards going with that bumber since out venue can accomodate, and the stress of cutting loved ones v. the $500-1000 difference in cost doesn't seem to balance out in light of the wedding cost in total. Will probably just go with my current list.

We planned a small/medium sized wedding of 75-100 people max. Our original guest list was 105. We ended up with a guest list of over 150.

I wanted a wedding where it wasn't bare bones but also wasn't too big. I feel like it's getting too big (we had to add people to the list when we accepted financial help).

You just need to figure out what suits you best. Some like small and some want the big wedding that many people they know can attend.

At FH's first wedding in South Korea, there were over 200 guests he did not know, so he was absolutely pro small wedding right away. Where to cut it off was a struggle, he has 26 first cousins alone... not including their plus ones or families. We ended up settling on immediate family only... siblings, parents, grandparents. Plus our best friends. Ended up being 58 people total (including us) and eleven of those are kids/babies.

It was freeing doing a smallish wedding. So much less stress, and we were able to make our budget go farther.

Okay, so, for me, a Type A, planning has been stressful but it's a good stress. Like someone who likes to feel sore after a workout. I genuinely enjoy the logistics of it.

That said, planning this 12 guest teeny tiny wedding has been a lot of work. And a fair amount of money.

I've never even cared about getting married period, let alone cared about a poofy dress or a lavish reception, etc. so this is what works for me. Our original guest list was 40 people and I realized as much as I like planning, I do not like spending afternoons looking for stupid tablecloths. And I couldn't pass that on to someone else like a planner because I'm anal/a control freak. And I also didn't reeeally care about half of these people being there.

So we cut the list. It's friends only, 5 couples and two singles, our nearest and dearest and we're getting married at home with our beautiful pups, where we've hosted these people so many times. It just feels right.

Then we're taking everyone out for awesome food and fantastic cocktails and that just feels right too.

Ideally, you only do this once. If you feel like you know what you want, do that. No one wants to feel like they "missed out". But be sure it's what you want and not what you've been told to want. There's nothing wrong with wanting a huge party with a ballgown, if it's what you want.

FH and I both once had the "big wedding" with other people. We love our friends and family, but we decided that for us we just want to make it about our kids and closest this time. I remember the big dress, seeing the wrong wedding cake, trying to keep tabs on vendors, and needing a glass of wine before my first wedding even started because of the stress of it all. At the time I wanted "the wedding" and I'm sad to admit that I wanted it more than the person I ended up divorcing. This time I just want the person. I'd honestly go to the courthouse and marry him tomorrow if he suggested it.

My point is focus on your priorities. Do you want a big party? Do you want something small? There's benefits to both. Focus on what you want. It's okay to wear a ballgown in front of 30 people or have lunch with 200. I'm sure you'll figure it out.

DeNigris, where are you?

Celia-

I'm in Springfield MA.

We invited about 70 people and about 55-60 attended. We invited only people who we would happily spend a whole weekend with. Other relatives or casual friends didn't make the cut. Only exceptions were two aunts (one on his side, one on mine) who are fine people but not close. That was our only compromise with our families.

Planning on a guest list of around 30. I love the intimacy that goes along with small weddings and can't wait for just our parents, siblings, and closest friends to spend the day with us.

FH and I recently agreed that if we could start planning from scratch again, we would have done something smaller...like 20ish people. We're having a medium sized wedding (80) and were recently thinking about how nice and intimate a small wedding or even elopement would have been.

My dads one out of 10

Children, so I have 30 first cousins alone lol. I think we may be doing a much smaller ceremony, then having a larger party later.