Big or small.. can’t seem to agree.

I would have eloped if not for my mom. We had a small dream ceremony/reception (15 guests), then local reception (50 guests). Would do it again! We had 3 months in between--barely enough time to recuperate and get ready to party again. Love your plan.

Do this: don’t pick a number of guests yet. Set a budget- Find a venue you love. Figure out catering per person.
han based on what you can afford, figure your number and your guests

Look at smaller venues that include more things to save money. We were thinking about eloping but wanted our families with us so we started off with the same dilemma. We decided on a B&B in the area that had a small wedding package. For $1900 we have the space for 3 1/2 hrs, the officiant, and even cake and sparkling juice for everyone. They do all the setup and breakdown so we don’t have to worry about that. We can have up to 36 guests. We decided on hiring a caterer for a meal at our venue after so that is the second biggest expense. Then we just had to figure out our attire and other small details. It was a good way to have a small wedding that wouldnt be crazy expensive, but where we could still have everyone we really care about with us. Try looking for elopement venues and usually they have the option to upgrade to a small wedding at least in our area.

View Quoted Comment Where did you do your small ceremony?

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Perfect advice. Guest list and budget usually dictate everything.

Napa. We’re from Southern California so some drove, some flew.

Oh! Ask about inclusive “elopement packages.” Good vale for 5-20 guests (depends on venue). That may include services too like florist, photographer and/or officiant. But it might be restricted to off-season or a weekday.

Just a heads up because you said you’re trying to save money...the reception is always the expensive part not the ceremony. So don’t just have a small ceremony for those reasons. I would sit down and figure out a budget before you decide anything!

I second elopement packages! That's what we're doing so our parents and siblings can be there. Our package limits to 30 people and the planner does or helps with pretty much everything! The package itself includes photographer, flowers, cake, DOC, and officiant but she helped with recommendations for everything else we needed. We were restricted to no weekends or holidays so we'll have a Monday ceremony.

I said I wanted a small wedding... originally just parents, grandparents and siblings. FH and I settled on family only- parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and 1st cousins. Well eventually that list grew to include about 25 friends too so now we are at about 80. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. All of the people that are coming truly want to celebrate our marriage with us. Now I can't imagine not having these people there for us.

Maybe start with a list of people that you care about (and really care about you) that A) you would be sad not having there and also B) they would be sad not being there. Obviously you should prioritize yourself, but I think I would be sad on behalf of others that were sad because they didn't get to celebrate my day with me.

Just some stuff to consider!

Talk with FH, eloping is way less stressful than a big wedding. You dont have to "go somewhere" and you can have whomever you'd like to join you, ie: parents, sins, close friends. Then, after have a larger celebration. Maybe explaining it like this will help him see how it could work.

Me and FH wanted small and go to Mtns... but because of a small wedding/elopement type deal we couldn't book a year in advance, so we went on about a wedding. But that number grew from 60 people to 125+...(not invitated yet, no invitations were sent) I was way to overly stressed and I completely shut down wedding planning and then I (me and him) called it all off. And now we are doing what we originally wanted to do, we're going to Boone with 20 other people (Mama's & daddy's, grandma's & papas, brothers & sisters) for a weekend get away, the venue has cabins so that's a ✅. And then we're gonna have a nice dinner reception that night.

Now 3 weeks after the wedding, were still gonna do a BBQ with all friends and family on the original date of the original wedding, so we wouldn't lose our caterer, Baker, and a few of the other vendors.

Excited that it is going how we wanted it, and I can't wait! 05/19/2018

Your budget determines your wedding. It's all about what you and your fiance want. This is easier said than done!