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Beginner August 2013

Best Man wants to wear Wedding Dress- Allow or Not Allow??

Private User, on August 17, 2012 at 3:37 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 37

My finance's best man has been his best friend since High School; they are inseparable at times and are very close. The three of us have spent a lot of time with each other throughout the years and the best man is generally included in many of our plans. Since the best man has not dated anyone...

My finance's best man has been his best friend since High School; they are inseparable at times and are very close. The three of us have spent a lot of time with each other throughout the years and the best man is generally included in many of our plans. Since the best man has not dated anyone seriously for many years now, he jokes that my finance and I are his significant others. However he wants to change into a wedding dress during his speach as a joke that it's his wedding too. I feel a little put off by the idea that the attention will 1. be on him for crossdressing and 2.that he is symbolically trying to replace me! I need advice: am I being too sensitive on this and let it happen, or should I be putting my foot down??

37 Comments

  • Anonymous
    Expert November 2012
    Anonymous ·
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    No that is way too desperate for attention on his part. It is YOU and YOUR husband's day not his.

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  • beachbum2004
    Super June 2015
    beachbum2004 ·
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    I would say no. I am totally against it. It is my day and he shouldn't be wearing a dress except you.

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  • Katrina
    Dedicated October 2012
    Katrina ·
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    LOL! I almost peed myself watching that video. My FH doesn't have friends like that but I kind of wish he did! I don't like being the center of attention- but I'm happy to be entertained!

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  • WasSoon2BMrsSmith
    Master September 2010
    WasSoon2BMrsSmith ·
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    If ANYONE wants to wear a wedding dress at my wedding that isn't me the answer is no, wether it's a cheesy dude who thinks he's funny or my BFF. Not happening.

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  • Pan
    Master March 2012
    Pan ·
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    I think he needs a girlfriend stat!

    No, honestly it almost seems like he's infringing on some boundaries and that sort of thing can snowball.

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  • P
    VIP June 2013
    Private User ·
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    Absolutely not.

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  • kim
    Dedicated November 2012
    kim ·
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    I can't stop laughing at the video! I think a dress may be a bit too much, but if his presentation is right, hilarious!

    It's YOUR day, go with your gut.

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  • Jen P.
    Master January 2012
    Jen P. ·
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    Couldnt he just hold up a bouquet or slap on one of those cheap veils from the craft store? A whole wedding gown seems a bit much...

    Haha i should read comments before commenting..

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  • Private User
    VIP November 2014
    Private User ·
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    I for once am speechless. I would have to say "OHHHHH hell naw!" lol

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  • Kristen
    Super September 2012
    Kristen ·
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    I thought veil too. easy and not so over the top. but agree about letting the conversation cool down until closer to the wedding. he may forget all about it

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  • Karla
    VIP August 2012
    Karla ·
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    I loved that video

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  • MyLove&HisMrs.
    VIP November 2014
    MyLove&HisMrs. ·
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    I say no! You should be the only one at your ceremony/reception in a wedding dress.

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  • Seashell
    Dedicated September 2012
    Seashell ·
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    I think even the veil or prop could go the wrong way depending on the audience and like you said, take the attention off of you and your FH and the real meaning of the wedding day which I think many people forget. I also think that now is a good time to begin to set boundaries around this friend - not that you cannot include him in things and you of course do not want to shut him out, but your relationships (all three) are changing. Maybe this is a good time for him to do some changing as well and decide if he does want to find his own sig. other or what he wants to do with the rest of his life in the area of initmate relationships. I think that he does need some preparation to this end and maybe your FH does as well - not that things have to change to the extreme, but marriage is about "leaving and cleaving" - not only in regards to parents, but sometimes also in regards to close friendships that sometimes may be a little too close for the psychological health of all involved. I hope

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  • Seashell
    Dedicated September 2012
    Seashell ·
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    Part II: this does not sound harsh or judgemental and if so I apologize (my educational training is in Marriage and Family Counseling so that's the perspective from which my comments come). I hope that all of you friends and of course everyone else has a wonderful day for your wedding! Best Wishes!!

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  • Chauncia
    VIP December 2012
    Chauncia ·
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    Seashell.....well said!

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  • Brittany N
    Devoted September 2012
    Brittany N ·
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    I agree that its probably way over the top. I am not a serious person AT ALL and at any other occassion I probably wouldnt have an issue, but a wedding requires some dignity from its members!

    My sister-in-laws son just got married and his BM and himself have much of the same relationship, where they have their own "bromance" and are incredibly close. He got that point across wonderfully in a very funny speech. No props included Smiley xd

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  • Groomzilla
    VIP November 2012
    Groomzilla ·
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    NO. Tell him it's your wedding and you'd prefer not to have him do that.

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