Cevana
Just Said Yes April 2022

Best friend doesn't like the color of the dress she'll be wearing?

Cevana, on December 16, 2019 at 5:55 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 44
Saved
Reply

My wedding is about two years away, so naturally, my Finace and I have changed the color scheme a couple times. We have the time. So we've finally settled on a color palette and my besr friend who is a bridesmaid is constantly complaining about the color she has to wear. She keeps saying she doesn't want to look ugly and that the shade of green is too light for her. She actually had the audacity to ask me to change the colors to suit her better! I'm so upset about this. What do I do??


Any advice is appreciated.


Thanks!

44 Comments

Latest activity by Jessica, on January 2, 2021 at 10:13 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    Tell her no. Pretty simple, it's not up for discussion.

    • Reply
  • Vannesa
    Expert June 2022
    Vannesa ·
    • Flag

    If she doesn't like the colors and wants to make it that big of a deal then you can tell her she doesn't need to be in the wedding.

    • Reply
  • Sara
    Expert February 2020
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    Try not to let it make you feel bad. As the other ladies have said, no..its not up to her. If that's the color you want, she can either wear it (and be quiet about it) or not be in the wedding.


    I would never ask anyone to change the color of the dress they wanted me to wear.. Its an honor to be in a wedding party. The color shouldn't matter.
    • Reply
  • VIP November 2021
    ·
    • Flag
    I agree. Too bad. It’s your wedding. She should be honored to even be a part of it !
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    You do nothing. The dress is selected so it’s not up for debate. I wouldn’t entertain that conversation any longer.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    I was asked to be a bridesmaid once and it honestly made me sick to think I had to drop $200 on an awful looking dress. However, it wasn't my wedding and therefore I kept my opinions to myself. Long story short, I actually never ended up as a bridesmaid because the 300lb groom asked me to get his future wife to drop weight which I found repulsive considering she was a tiny little thing before they met and the relationship took its toll. His eating habits became hers and I was upset that he wasn't willing to change but expected her to be this tiny piece of arm candy. I was furious and wanted better for her. I also was struggling with money at the time and I worked for myself and was newly starting out. Nothing seemed right about this scenario in the end and I bolted.


    Anyway, if it wasn't for his derogatory comments, I would have worn that darn dress and struggled financially for a few months.
    • Reply
  • Chanieish
    Dedicated May 2021
    Chanieish ·
    • Flag

    I had to wear traffic cone orange as my BM dress. I hated the color, but you know what I sucked it up and wore it anyway! It's not my wedding, and I should work to make it easier on the bride and not complain.


    Although I did immediately toss it out the day after the wedding haha!!!

    • Reply
  • Allie
    Super November 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    This happened to me when I was a bridesmaid. My best friend chose a color I wasn’t wild about was perfectly ready to wear because I just wanted to be there for her and be a special part of her day. She ended up deciding to go with two colors rather than one and gave me the option of which dress I wanted to wear. The other color happened to be my favorite color so I obviously picked that one, but if she wanted to go with the other color I would’ve went with that too. It’s not their choice. Plus, they don’t have to keep the dress. I’ve sold bridesmaid dresses on Poshmark after wearing them and made nearly all of my money back.
    • Reply
  • Catherine
    VIP November 2019
    Catherine ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes! i agree with everything Sara posted here. I believe It is a privilege to be in the wedding party - if the bride asks for input on color or style that's one thing. i certainly shouldn't think she would tell you to change your color scheme because its not what she wanted, its not her wedding.

    • Reply
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag

    Good thing it isn't her wedding and she has a choice in the matter. She can either where it or come as a guest and wear what she wants.

    • Reply
  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
    • Flag

    I wore a terrible color for my in my best friends wedding, but you know what it wasn't about me. It was about her! I kept my mouth shut and she had a wonderful wedding.

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Dedicated September 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    Tell her it’s your wedding not hers!!! When it’s her wedding she can decide what color to wear. I had a similar issue my sister in law wanted to wear a different style bridesmaid dress than everyone (she wanted to wear a mermaid gown and try to color match everyone else) I flat out said I want everyone to match and it’s my wedding. You have to stick up for yourself even when it’s awkward.
    • Reply
  • Crystal
    Devoted August 2021
    Crystal ·
    • Flag

    No.


    The end.


    Your wedding. Your choice. Deal with it.

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Master October 2019
    Laura ·
    • Flag

    You don't do anything. It's not about her, it's about you and your wedding. I think she's being selfish. I am not trying to insult her, I swear, but you need to put your foot down on this now so that other things you want to do won't be questioned constantly. I speak from experience on this with my first wedding years ago

    • Reply
  • Alycia
    Expert September 2021
    Alycia ·
    • Flag
    If you like the color, keep the color. She only has to wear the dress for a few hours. She can deal.
    • Reply
  • Kristal
    Expert February 2020
    Kristal ·
    • Flag

    While I agree with everything said previously, I also understand that it can be hard to remain excited when the people you want to enjoy something with you arent happy. That said, there may need to be a one-on-one face-to-face conversation. Tell her how you are feeling. If you like the color and its part of your decor or whatever the case may be, do not budge for her. Make it clear to her how she is making you feel and tell her you really want her support. Stand up for yourself, and help her see that there is more to this whole thing than the color of a dress.

    • Reply
  • Sara
    Savvy February 2021
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    Having been a bridesmaid 10 times! I have been in colors I don't personally care for before. But if she is truly our best friend - she is going to suck it up and wear it because it is your vision and what is going to make you happy on your day! She needs to not be selfish and do what is going to make things less stressful for you.

    • Reply
  • E
    Devoted August 2020
    Elle ·
    • Flag

    Tell her no.

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    No one wants to spend a lot of money on a dress that doesn't flatter them at all. It was really important for me to pick colors that those in my wedding party were fine with wearing - as my MOH says, if you put someone in a dress they don't feel comfortable/confident in, it will be obvious in their body language, expression, etc. You can't fake confidence. A happy bridesmaid = better photos = happy bride.

    If you are set on your current colors, and really want to appease your bridesmaid you have a couple options:
    1) Consider the mismatched bridesmaids trend. Perhaps a slightly different shade of that color would flatter her better and she'd feel more comfortable in it. I personally LOVE this trend and think its great for giving bridesmaids a bit of freedom in picking dresses that compliment them, especially if your bridesmaids have a mix of shapes, sizes, complexions, and hair colors.

    2) Choose an inexpensive dress or at least give bridesmaids an inexpensive option. Most bridesmaids will complain less if they are only spending $50 on a dress they hate as opposed to $250. Or you can offer to pay for her dress, but I feel like this is rewarding bad behavior so I probably wouldn't do that in this case.


    It is YOUR wedding though, so if you are set with the color and style of your dresses and your bridesmaid keeps complaining, let your bridesmaid know the dresses are what they are, end of story. I'd mention that it hurts your feelings that she keeps complaining about the dresses. If she still can't keep her opinion to herself then she doesn't need to be a part of your wedding party.


    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Devoted November 2021
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag

    I mean is your color scheme just one specific shade of green she hates or is there more to the color scheme that maybe there will be a more flattering option available? Now, ultimately of course it's your decision, your day, blah blah. But if I knew shade was truly unflattering on my BEST friend then we would figure it out. It wouldn't be well "It's my day". I honestly hate that attitude. It's your day but you're asking someone else to be apart of it and to spend their $$ and their time to make your day better so yes, you should consider their thoughts. My color scheme is navy, gold, and burgundy so honestly I worked within those options to find something that my girls loved. I'm also in a wedding for my best friend and she's decided to let her bridesmaids choose a shade of purple that is flattering to them. Unpopular opinion here but if you care about her there should be a compromise in reach. Now, if she continues to be difficult that's a different story.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics