Before basic training courthouse wedding

You can still have a great party in 2019 and I'm sure it will be fun! I don't think that it matters when you change your name. The difference will be that after Monday you'll be married (!!) and what you do in 2019 will be a vow renewal. It can still be just as fun as a wedding! Just be open that it's a vow renewal and don't pretend you won't have been married for the last year and a half. And congratulations for your wedding on Monday!!

I agree with @Steph. People will understand why you had to have a ceremony separate from your reception. Personally, I would just have a big reception in 2019 and style it as a celebration of marriage. But you can certainly do the vow renewal part as long as you make it clear that's what it is!

As @Steph said, you can still have your big party in 2019, but it will be known as a vow renewal. The ceremony wording will be different because legally it has to be, since you will already be married. You can have the reception party you have dreamed of then, and it will be just as fun.

Congratulations!

Why would you not be able to pull off a vow renewal? You have a year and a half to plan it. Congrats on your wedding though!

I personally love all of this and hope you post courthouse wedding pics! You can DEFINITELY do a vow renewal as everyone has stated. Last name change is totally up to you. I for one can not wait to take my FH last name! Remember, You can't do anything wrong here as long as you and your husband are happy. Congratulations!

Congratulations!!!

Thank you everyone! Your so encouraging! Any tips on how to make the courthouse special? Anyone who has done this?

Is his basic training in Cape May? Will you be coming with him?

(I ask because I'm from there/live there now, and it's a really great supportive CG community. This time of year is awesome here and I think you'll really enjoy it).

Yes he'll be in cape may! I didn't know I could? I would love to be involved in a supportive Coast Guard community.

My husband and I did a courthouse (conference room) wedding on April 14th before he deployed. There were 4 of us in the room & honestly it was really nice with it being super small. The next day, we took pics in front of a building & a couple walked by saying they did the same thing as us a few years ago & how romantic it was. At the time it didn't seem romantic, but looking back, that day was just about us. We didn't have to appease anyone, it was just about us.

Now that he's gone I'm planning the "real wedding" for Oct 2018. I was going to wait to change my name until I saw my passport needs renewed by early next year. So I started changing it legally, but I'm keeping my maiden name at work & socially until 10/18. Congrats on getting married!

I think you could have a great vow renewal, but I wouldn't expect it to be exactly like a wedding and I would be honest with everyone that you are married now.

If it was me, I would just wait though. I can understand doing it this way if he was about to deploy, but I don't think you need to rush it because he's going to basic.

I could wait until my original date however I just thought it would make seeing him so much easier since we'll be married. If we weren't I feel like I would barely see him and I don't want to plan a wedding by myself with him possibly in another state.

@OP, when he's done the first part of Basic he may get stationed in Cape May. I don't know what his field is or what their needs are, but you should visit sometime! It's a pretty cool place.

I agree with PP about having the vow renewal on your original date! You could bring flowers, have people that matter and wear a pretty white dress! My FH is in the military and unfortunately, while he is at basic, you can't be there with him. Write a lot of letters! It took my FH a few weeks to receive mine so I gave him some to bring with and a note pad/pen. Congrats Shelby on your wedding this upcoming Monday!!

He wants to become an Maritime Enforcement Specialist, no one ever said that! That sounds cool

Yeah I want the other ceremony to feel a little like the real thing even if people know it's not, I like the idea of flowers and a big white dress and everyone we love there! A bridal shower and all. I just don't know how to make it special if we're already married

Your right probably not, you don't think I could have any kind of shower?

@Shelby Trust me, being a military spouse and having the wedding and marriage not be performed at the same time is far from uncommon. "Fiancé-husband" is a thing. Do a shower if you want a shower. Don't if you don't. If the people in your lives understand and support your planning decisions then who cares if it's not the "proper" thing to do. If in 10 years you'll regret not doing certain things, that's your answer! Go for it!

Your so right... I love your answer Tiffany J. I just have to do what makes me happy and everyone does support us so I think they'll still shower me with gifts it just won't be traditional in any sense.

I think you can still pull off a celebration/ceremony on the originally planned date. My fiance are going to the courthouse to get married next Thursday and then having our celebration/ceremony in July with our family and friends. It's your special day and you can do whatever you want. ;]