Bar announcement for reception

Don't have save the dates with #FREEDRINKS and then only host cocktail hour and not the reception.. yeah I went to a wedding recently that did this...

Assuming you did not do that, I think on the FAQ section of your website mention that it is a cash bar and that cards are also accepted. I don't think you need to include prices since the ones you listed would be what people would expect.

Your mind is made up and that's fine. I think how you present it to your guests is a matter of what weddings in your circle are normally like. If everyone does a hosted bar, then you do need to let guests know either on the invite or the website. If not, then you may not need any prep, especially since the venue accepts cards. I don't know many people who go to any social event without a wallet.

Whether or not they should have to open it, however, is a different matter, but you're no stranger to that sentiment. I will say that the negative comments on how it may be received are probably fair. No one will say anything to your face more than likely, but I guarantee the cash bar will be a topic of discussion at the reception. If you and FH are fine with that, then I think it just comes down to knowing your crowd as to whether you need to give your guests a heads up ahead of time, and how best to do that.

I see that you mentioned a 5k bar bill being the concern. With 50 guests, that just isn't possible. Was hosted beer/wine an option?

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Yes, hosted beer/wine came out to about $25/person per hour before taxes/gratuity/etc, which is still incredibly high for us.

We are doing a cash bar as well! I never thought to inform the guests of this but now that I read your post I think I’ll put something about it on my wedding website!! Just to give them a heads up. Cash bar all the way honey!!!! 🙌🙌🙌

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Glad this post was helpful for us both!

View Quoted Comment I'm glad to hear your attitude about this. So nice to see someone that's not a gift grubber!!

While I don't agree with a cash bar, I will say that I like to know ahead of time. I went to a family wedding that had drink tickets, then I guess the FOG was covering some drinks and not others...it was confusing. But I generally don't carry cash on me. Even with a bar that takes cards, a heads up is nice.

View Quoted Comment Also I dont really understand these comments about taking from your gift as being like a punishment because it sounds like the price for you to host a bar would be more than the gift value. Sooo it's like do they want you to say "oh no I'll pay 100 for you and 100 dollars for your husband to drink just so I can hopefully get 100 dollars from you both as a gift." Like you still end up deeper in the hole this way. We're hosting the bar because it's going to he 18.50 per person for the entire night so it's pretty reasonable and we can afford it. But I understand different places cost different amounts and some people cant afford it or just dont want to pay for it, even if they can. Also that people say "your guests will talk about you", like how do you know that? What makes them think they know our guests more than we do? I dunno, I'm sorry, I'm ranting, its just I dont understand why people care so so much about other people's weddings that they're not invited to. Like yes say your opinion, that's what we're here for, but it's up to the person who asked the question to take the advice or not.

View Quoted Comment Would definitely do this if you can. Add a sign to let people know

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$25 an hour? That would require everyone to drink 5 beers an hour. Why can't you host a consumption bar where you only pay for what is consumed?

I always assume it will be a cash bar. In my area and in my circle with family/friends, cash bar is most common. I don't think you're obligated to tell them it's not an open bar. I simply don't understand why someone would ASSUME they're getting free alcohol. And you're especially not obligated to warn them considering they accept credit/debit. I can understand somebody saying "I didn't know it was a cash bar, so I didn't bring any cash!" But who honestly leaves the house with a credit card or debit card?

I'm having a cash bar, I'm all for them. If you can't tell, lol.

I haven't been to many weddings that I can remember (I went to a lot of weddings as a kid and can't remember that far back ahah). If I were a guest at your wedding I would prefer to have a detail card that outlined that the reception will offer a cash bar and that they accept cash, visa, mastercard, etc. as well! As a guest, I would more than likely just bring cash so I don't have to swipe my card every time but it would be nice to know that if I decide to drink a little more than planned that they would take my card as well so I don't have to have a TON of cash on me!

If you plan on using a wedding website, then you could skip the detail card and just make sure that your wedding website is indicated on the invitation!

View Quoted Comment Do you go to an event and assume that you'll be getting free food? Same thing.

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As someone calculated and commented for me earlier (thank you, lol) it would still be about $2k. Much better than $5k, but also a huge chunk of change.

We may put a small amount down and then switch over to a cash bar, but we don't want to confuse people by doing this when it switches over.

All said and done, we're perfectly comfortable with our decision.

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I think many people, myself included, view alcohol as a luxury and food as a necessity. I'm sure there are a lot of people who view them on the same level, but not everyone does.

That said, if I go to an event, I'll probably expect appetizers, but probably not a full meal. That's just a bonus. An open bar would be a super bonus.

The last wedding I went to was a “cash” bar they accepted credit and such and they let us know on the detail card with the invitation that it was a cash bar. They did not list pricing.

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Yeah, from who I've told, no one is surprised that it's not an open bar. FMIL even said that it wouldn't be expected from their side, and I know no one on my side is thinking it would be. It's a nice perk but I no one in our family is expecting it, and it's family only besides a couple friends, so we're good lol.

My office Christmas party had an open bar and I was so surprised.

View Quoted Comment I rarely have cash or a card at an event. My husband will since he grabs his entire wallet, but I'm not going to put them in my clutch. It would be pretty obnoxious to go to the bar to get drinks for us and have to go get him to pay.

View Quoted Comment I doubt that the food you are serving is bare minimum, just meeting the standard of necessity. You can try to argue all you want, but asking your guests to pay for any part of your party isn't proper hosting.

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"Host": a person who receives or entertains guests at home or elsewhere

Sounds like I'm meeting the dictionary definition- and I usually take the denotation of a word versus the connotation. So, argue all you want, but people can interpret hosting in different ways. Since I interpret it as feeding and giving them some music and non-alcoholic drinks, I feel I'm a good host, and therefore do not feel any remorse or that I'm slighting my guests