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Beginner August 2024

Backwards Wedding

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Cedar, on March 28, 2019 at 1:22 PM

Posted in Planning 43

So my fiancé and I have been contemplating getting married before our wedding. He falls of his parents insurance in July of this summer, in order to be put on my insurance we must be married. So we were thinking of just going to the courthouse and tying the not and only letting immediate family know that we are married. However, we still want to have our wedding in 2 1/2 years with the ceremony and reception. Should we still exchange rings during the ceremony even though we will both have our wedding bands? Should we wait the 2 1/2 years to exchange rings? Is this even a good idea? I don't care what way we get married haha but my fiancé has a heart defibrillator and we really cant have a gap in his medical insurance if something were to go wrong. His insurance through work is out of the question due to it being total poop, and its more affordable to just put him on my plan than to have him go through a private insurance company. Whats your opinion on my situation? What would you do?

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43 Comments

Devoted November 2019
Nicole · on March 29, 2019 at 3:51 PM
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Kellie- I totally agree! If you were to do a private courthouse wedding would you still keep your original wedding plans otherwise?
It seems the big conflict here is whether or not people consider it appropriate to have the parties after the paperwork is signed.
I guess I'm in the camp of--whenever you sign the papers is between you and the government.
The ceremony that celebrates your love in front of your loved ones is what's important, whether the papers are signed or not. Personally I think you have every right to call it a wedding, or a vow renewal, or whatever you want. I have friends who are having a wedding ceremony but not legally getting married because it doesn't make sense for them right now but they want to celebrate their commitment to each other with people they love. Why can't you do it the other way around? If it makes sense to legally be married but not to throw a big shindig yet, I say do what makes sense.
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Expert February 2020
Nyikee · on March 29, 2019 at 6:14 PM
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I wouldn't keep it a secret- those who love you will understand if you explain the situation and you let them know that you're still having a ceremony and reception ( at this point it would be a renewal, but that's perfectly fine.) you could still do all the traditional wedding stuff- exchange rings and what not, since there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!
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Super October 2019
Kellie Martinez · on March 29, 2019 at 6:22 PM
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I would celebrate my wedding anniversary on October 20th regardless of when we were legally married. Some of these comments are hilarious. I can see who cares waaaaaay too much what other people think about them. I don't care who is upset about how or when I choose to celebrate my wedding and anniversary. lol. Not even a little bit.
Courteney, if you're reading this too, don't listen to those comments! You don't have to let even your immediately family know. The reason you have all of these conflicting opinions is because they do know. No one can tell you which day you're supposed to celebrate, who's feeling you will hurt, etc. if it is between you and your husband only.
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