Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Super August 2016

Backup Bridesmaid?

Flag
Hide content

JPB808, on October 20, 2015 at 9:26 PM

Posted in Planning 27

So I have a total of 5 bridesmaids on my court (one for every brother my fiancé has) and I have two bridesmaids that are a little flaky. One of which lives in the same area as me (one of my long time friends-I consider her a second mother) and the other lives on another island (I live in Hawaii)....

Both of them said they could commit when I asked them to be on my court...however both of them are extremely hard to get a hold of sometimes. They are both really close to me and I would hate to not have them at my side on my day. However, should I get 2others to ask just in case one or both doesn't end up making it to my wedding??

My future mother in law (which is also a wedding planner) says I should but how would you ask someone that??...."Could you be my backup bridesmaid just in case my current bridesmaid flakes?"

Show all

27 Comments

Dedicated June 2017
SoontobeMrs.Harmon · on October 21, 2015 at 1:39 PM
Flag

Hide content
I have the same issue with 2 groomsmen backing out. We asked two other guys to be ushers. We don't really need ushers BUT if something happens, they will be able to step up. Also, as a thought, if your bridesmaid's do back out use your grandmothers or mom and future MIL. It would be a cute way to add them into the ceremony.
- Reply
Champion May 2016
OG Kathryn · on October 21, 2015 at 1:44 PM
Flag

Hide content
This is really rude. If they back out oh well. You have an uneven party. Its not the end of the world. Calling your bf's that are near and dear to your hearts FLAKES is kind've shitty too. Personally I dont associate with that type, but thats my preference.
- Reply
Master August 2016
OGSue · on October 21, 2015 at 1:46 PM
Flag

Hide content
Phew! Thank you OP for taking the advice of the ladies on here in consideration. That was a WTF Wednesday post adverted.
- Reply
Master May 2016
Mrs. Nicole · on October 21, 2015 at 1:50 PM
Flag

Hide content
I know you said you were taking our advice so I'm not here to stomp on you and tell you no, but one of your comments really stood out to me after the fact.

It's not about being there for your friends and family in a time of need, as in this case, if a bridesmaid were to drop out.

It's about telling your friends and family that you don't want them to stand up there with you, but they will do in a pinch when you have no other options and just want the numbers to be even. That's not a great message to send to people you care about.
- Reply
Super February 2024
Kd · on October 21, 2015 at 2:24 PM
Flag

Hide content
How fun for the back-up bridesmaid to buy a dress at the last minute without the time to save up! LOL
- Reply
Master September 2014
OG Mrs.K (2.0) · on October 21, 2015 at 2:25 PM
Flag

Hide content
HAPPY WEDNESDAY!
- Reply

Super August 2016
JPB808 · on October 21, 2015 at 3:27 PM
Flag

Hide content
@Kathryn I never called any of my friends flakes....I simply said "if they flake" calling someone a flake and referring to the term is completely different. just fyi "if they flake" is saying the same thing as backing out/dropping out/calling it quits/not showing up/etc, in the end its the same expression.
@KD if I did decide to have a back up bridesmaid (which I mentioned earlier in my comments that I was NOT) I would buy the dresses and shoes, I would never expect that from someone to fork out money to provide their own dress and shoes at the last minute for my wedding. Which again I am not asking anyone to be a backup or step in.
@SoonToBeMrs.P Thank you so much for your response, I'm glad that there are other people that have dealt with this same situation and to get feedback about it is good to hear (even though it wasn't great at the time..sorry about that). I'm not planning on asking anyone to step in, or have a back up....but if my two friends do end up flaking out/backing out/dropping out and someone does offer to step in, then of course I'd be happy to have them stand with me. But of course I'm not expecting that nor would I put anyone in that situation.
- Reply