Bachelorette Regrets

I remember you originally posted about being salty about his three parties considering he was 'leaving you alone' so close to the wedding.

Are you salty about the three parties for him or your lack of a party?

I'd be dishonest if I said I wasn't a little upset if he got three and I got an after thought. But the reality is a Bachelorette is a nicety. But a necessity.

My FH had multiple BPs because he's not originally from here so his buddies home in Chicago gave him one....his friends here in New York.....annnnd his co-workers........I'm having one BP and it's not until the week before the wedding so I'm pretty ready for my day hahah (I'm actually inviting my FH to mine as it's just bar hopping with a "pedal tour" which is like this giant bike 15 people ride down the street and you get to drink and listen to whatever music you want and be merry......) I guess my point is, I can understand being a little "salty" but in my case my FH is my best friend so I'm happy he has so many people that want to celebrate him and rather than exclude him at mine I involved him because we'll probably get about 15 new inside jokes out of this experience hahaha.....you still have time to go out with your girls one more time if it's important to you, just remember it's not a you vs your man competition and his friends circumstances are different than yours'.....by no means does this mean you are less important.

Elphaba thank you for sharing. I am sorry for your friend. It makes me sick that a DA would even take that to court. I hope you get that video chat. Much love your way.

Op-I am not going to say anything different than everyone else said so it is redundant. I hope maybe this post has helped you change your views of your party and to appreciate it. Only you are in control of your mind and feelings. Ponder it and decide it was the best damn Bach party ever and you will feel better. Forget the hype you see on tv. Own that shit and love it for what it was and the time it gave you with your girls.

I know I won't be having a party. I don't even think about it. We live in Florida, my closest friends and family are back home in Seattle, WA. I'm just grateful that they are flying out here for the wedding.

Show some appreciation.

I don't know what happened that all of a sudden bachelorette/bachelor parties turned into travel occasions and the expectations are so high. I mean, yeah it sucks that it wasn't what you envisioned but it still sounds like you had a fun time and they did the best they could. People expecting others to travel is a little over the top, IMO. FH and l will be lucky if we can even get all of our buddies in one room at the same time since they all have kids already. We will just be happy to have one day to see everyone.

What is with the entitlement these days expecting people to spend tons of money and vacation time for a bachelorette party? I blame tv.

I'm from the old days where you hung out in a bar for that. You should be grateful that they did anything for you.

I'm not even planning to have a Bachelorette Party. I'm planning to take my girls out for a spa day and dinner. Simple and sweet.

Elphaba that paper flower sounds so sweet. It made me tear up. It must be hard to go thru this milestone without her by your side.

Elphaba, thank-you for sharing that story. I'm so sorry about your friend; such an injustice. I hope you get that fifteen minute video call with her!

OP, it's not a competition. Stop comparing your FH's bach parties to yours. He had three, that's a bit much, but hey, that's his friends' business. Your friends hosted a party for you and instead of lamenting about your FH's excessive amount of parties, you should be glad your friends arranged something nice for you, because if lurk in the forum (and read some comments here), you'll see a lot of brides didn't even get one party. Again, it's not a competition; don't be petty and focus on the positives, because it seems you haven't done that once yet. You got to spend time with your closest friends; it's the quality, not the quantity that counts. Focus on the best times of your party and let the jealousy go.

ETA: Details

@Elphaba -- that is heart breaking! I'm so sorry!!

She's blessed to have a friend like you!

OP-- I understand that it might be a little sad when FH has had 3 parties and you only 1--and it not being what you had always imagined. I get that. Expectations and dreams don't always come it the way we want and it can suck!

But, Please be thankful for that time you got to spend with your girls. My best friend lives 11 time zones away. My family lives 7 time zones away. Shoot, even my FH is 11 time zones out....I haven't seen ANY of them in over 8 months (And won't see them for another 5). I'd give anything to have 1 small girl's night with my sisters in a suburb hotel. It's not the where and how, it's who you are with and the laughter you share together.

I hear ya, Valerie-- if it were as easy as 'don't feel that way!' I, a therapist, wouldn't have a job. I promise you won't feel this way, forever. You can be sad you didn't get what you were expecting/hoping for. Take time to count your blessing, be sure and exercise, get your sleep, and eat healthy, and the feeling will promise soon. I promise.