Bachelorette Regrets

Good God, Princess Valerie, do you hear yourself?

You entitled your thread, "Bachelorette Regrets". You followed that with "As I said the original plan was to get away and I really had my heart set on that." That woe is me statement was followed by, "The night just wasn't what I had imagined." Oh, and the creme de la creme: "I acknowledged that I know how minimal and sad the whole thing is but it's really been eating at me."

Would you like us to tell your BMs how regrettable, minimal, and sad you thought your party was? If so, just give us their email addresses and we'll be happy to oblige. If not, then knock it off. Enough already. What is happening in this world when honored guests critique a party (that costs the hosts time and money) thrown in their honor? Do you understand the concept of humble gratitude? Never mind -- rhetorical question.

We have no idea why your FH had three bachelor parties. Why not discuss that with him?

I understand you're disappointed. So much of this wedding planning process has been about adjusting my expectations and not getting what I originally thought I wanted. It's a good lesson in gratitude though. You are lucky to have girls who love you and wanted to spend time with you, even if it's not what you envisioned. It's ok to be a little disappointed, but I hope you can look on the positive side and get excited about your big day.

No no no. You don't get to complain about the time and money your friends spent on you. For shame! If you want something else, save it for your birthday, foot the bill, and do all the work yourself. Holy hell.

You sound ungrateful. The world is not like in the movies and TV. I'd be thankful and move on.

I think you sound like a girl who just needed to vent that your pre wedding party wasn't as wonderful as you hoped. It's ok to vent. It also important to be okay with what you get.

Not very much is going my way either and I understand the need to get those feelings out and be heard. My parents are deceased, my uncle, who planned to give me away, has a wife who was just diagnosed with breast cancer and won't be coming now, I had to change my entire venue 10 weeks before the wedding, found out 2 days after I finished prepping all my invitations, had to do it again.... lots can go wrong, but one thing that isn't wrong, is your friends getting together for you and with you. Try to get angry about things like ugly flowers, instead of angry at people you care about. Let those relationships be what you cherish, and don't dwell on a night gone wrong.

I have girls refusing to attend my bachelorette party because bar hopping is on the agenda...but you know what??? Those who love me, will be there...and that will be what brings me joy

I'm curious about what the "last big fling" means.

@Elphaba SO sorry to hear about your friend... that's such a sad story. I hope you get to have that video visit with her!!

Bachelorette regrets - I thought this post was going to go in a whole different direction. My MOH is in a different state, has 3 children and a busy life. I don't expect nor do I want her to plan anything pre-wedding. Be happy with what you got.

Oh @elphaba, I'm so sorry for your friend and for your situation she's lucky to have a friend like you, and I hope you do get to see or talk to her. I know those 15 minutes will be precious. For what it's worth IMO, there's no damn such thing as "too many times" in that situation.

OP, this is one of those situations where you should hold on to that opinion and feeling and don't let it out. Never tell your generous friends, and don't come here looking for sympathy. Just keep this one to yourself. I'm not having a BP, and while sometimes I wish I had an Instagram-worthy, huge group of friends, that's just not my life. And my life is just fine.

I'm still stuck on the last big fling part of this. A bachelorette party is not about getting "one last fling" it's about hanging out with your closest girls and just relaxing. I can't even believe that you are complaining about not getting exactly what you wanted. You would crush the heart of those that planned this for you if they read this post or you told them about it. I couldn't imagine how low I would feel if I found out the girl I planned a bachelorette party for was bashing it like this.

@elphaba I'm so sorry about your friend. I just don't understand how any jury could convict under those circumstances. I hope you get to talk to her before the wedding. Are you able to write her?

@OP you're being ungrateful. They threw you the party that they could afford. You should be happy to have the chance to spend it with your friends. Don't let the pics you see on Instagram and in magazines keep you from valuing the effort that your girls put in.

I can understand why you would feel this way. It sounds like you're comparing your party to your FHs three bachelor parties. What he had is not the norm and if you compare it, it would of course, be a let down. However, like others said, in the scheme of things you're very lucky to have spent the time with your friends that you did so just try to focus on the positives! You can always do a girls trip if that's what you want down the line but what you had was a normal, wonderful bachelorette from the sounds of it. Try not to compare it.

You don't sound thankful. You sound whiney.

The whole Bach/bach party thing has gotten out of control and three of one is ridiculous. To ask that much time and money of the people you theoretically value highly enough to ask them to stand with you is disrespectful and entitled. (I can't even imagine asking those GM on trip number three..) The fact that you got a party at all is something to be thankful for. Quite possibly, they couldn't afford to do a trip piled on top of buying dresses and other expenses of being a BM. I'm sure some of them haven't been on a trip in a while, and personally, spending three required days in Vegas creating a 'last fling' is about the last thing I'd participate in, no matter how innocent.

The 'last fling" concept is also pretty bogus. Are you NEVER going to get to go away with your friends again? Why does that have to be tagged to your wedding? What is it about wandering through Vegas with an 'I'm the Bride" sash that screams, "I'm now ready to get married, yippee!"

Stop feeling cheated and start feeling grateful. It's an attitude that'll serve you well through your whole life, not just before your wedding.

My girls and I are going on a camping trip. My BM are in 4 different states, and we're all in our early 20s so we don't have the money to do anything crazy, and I didn't want them to have to fork up a bunch of money. I was just excited to have an excuse to gather all my girls in one place to get drunk and play games together. I don't like to think of the bachelorette party as a last hoorah, my FH and I have tons of fun together, and when we want to do something with our friends we just do it. 3 bachelor parties does seem excessive. If you're really hung up on it, maybe just plan a night out on the town with your girls (not necessarily BP themed) and just get drunk and have fun with them, or whatever it is you were striving for (don't get tooooo crazy!). Good luck and don't get your expectations so high. Nobody owes you anything.

And Elphaba, I'm so sorry about your friend.

The rise of social media has a lot to do with this....people posting their 'fabulous' trips.

Personally, I can't think of six people I'd want to spend the weekend with.

I say get over it. That's a lot to expect out of your girls. I hate you regret it, but you shouldn't. If you aren't happy with what you have, what makes you think you'll be happy with more?

My girls are I stayed at my grandparent's rental house (directly beside their house) at the lake I grew up at. We just laid out, swam, drank, and cooked out with my grandparents/aunt and uncle. We had a blast and it didn't cost us anything. (Aside from food and alcohol.)

Elphaba..thank you for sharing your situation. gratitude should be an easy concept for people but it is not.

suck it up, OP. you had a bachelorette party. check it off the list and move on.

I have zero sympathy for you. Some couples don't get showers or bachelorette parties and here you are complaining that you didn't like yours and are jealous of your FH is having three (seriously three is a tad excessive!!). I know you think that you are in the right to complain about it but you are coming off more like an entitled brat than anything.

Elephant I'm sorry about your friend.

You're wedding is in 20 days and you're still hung up in your bachelorette party? Seriously? Grow up, focus on the more important things, and realize that life is not like what you see in tv and movies.

And no one - absolutely no one - needs 3 bachelor parties. That's ridiculous.