Hey, y'all! I'm getting married in October and am planning to have a bachelorette party the day before the wedding. My MOH, who lives several states away, is planning it with the help of another bridesmaid who knows the area better, but I just gave her a rough schedule of the day (approximately when to start and when we need to be at the venue for rehearsal), one specific thing I wanted to do (brunch at a certain place), and some general ideas of things I like or that are in the area because she asked. She also asked if I would like for them to throw me a lingerie party during the bachelorette day and I said I was fine with that. As we were talking, she brought up the subject of budget and asked what my budget was for the bachelorette with decorations and such. I was a little taken aback because I thought that she and the other bridesmaids were supposed to cover the costs of a bachelorette. I don't plan on it being super expensive (there will be no alcohol involved = less expense), but obviously I don't know what activities she will plan - I suggested stuff like mini golf, an escape room, walking downtown, hanging at a coffee shop, etc. I am fine to pay for my own meals/activities for the day, and I can pitch in if someone else can't afford the places we go and other activities. I think she was mainly referencing the decorations or fun things she might buy for the day, but I feel it's really odd to throw someone a party then ask them to pay for decorations. I understand she and her husband are trying really hard to save money for higher degrees, and she is supposed to be in another wedding in England this summer (which she might not be able to go to because of costs/COVID travel stuff), so I don't want to be a stickler, but I don't know what to do. When I hesitated and asked what kind of budget she was thinking and that I guess I could cover some as long as it wasn't a lot, she also said she could probably pitch in some.
She is driving in to the wedding, but will not have to pay any lodging costs as she will stay with her sister a few days before the wedding, and my parents are paying for all the wedding party (and their spouses) to stay at the venue for 2 nights. As my parents are largely paying for the wedding, lodging, and hair for the bridesmaids, I don't feel like costs are too high for any of my bridesmaids. I let them choose their own style of dress within certain parameters from a specific website, and I even kept checking back until I found the dress my MOH wanted on sale for $50 (less than half price, even though she may have to have it altered as the sale dress was a little big for her).
I am saving to be able to buy some nicer gifts for the bridal party, but I guess I can buy my own decorations, too? I don't want to cause a rift, so I would rather just pay for it than cause drama, but I'm just a little hurt and confused. Am I wrong or being a bridezilla? Should I try to discuss it with the other bridesmaid (also a very close friend) who is helping her plan? I just don't want to cause drama (my stomach is in knots now just thinking about it), but I also would prefer not to spend $200 on decorations for myself...I almost don't want to even have the lingerie party or celebration now because it feels less special. Any advice?
-Confused Bride
