Bachelorette Party v.s Personal Shower

I think a LOT of people have a shower and a bachelorette party. I've even heard of several showers--a kitchen shower, lingerie shower, etc. I think those are for really big weddings, but I think the idea of each is totally different. A shower is for gifts stuff like that and a bachelorette party is like a last hurrah.

Do what works for you and your family. Sometimes it depends on who's footing the bill, unfortunately. Does your FMIL think that it'll be an expense for her, and maybe that's why she's opposed? Or maybe she doesn't think you and FH should spend the money you could use otherwise to set up your lives together?

I would have two parties on different days if I were you, just based on what you've said so far. If you FMIL is really upset by it, try to compromise with her first, then just ignore her if that doesn't work. :-)

I had 2 showers AND a bachelorette party. My 2 showers had completely separate guest lists though, with the exception of both moms and my BMs. One was for DHs family and one was for my family (combined we would have had close to 75 people, so we split it up). My bach. party was just me and my BMs, and there were no gifts involved, just everyone paying for themselves for a night out (My MOH/sis payed my way).

Is your personal shower the only "shower" you'll be having? Or will you be having a traditional bridal shower too? If you are having both, I wouldn't invite the same people to both, as that would mean an extra gift from people.

@Lesli H- MY FMIL wouldnt being paying for nothing, she just likes things her way or no way! I will be ignoring her if she opposes.

@ dragonfly726- I would only be having the one personal shower for gifts. I dont want gifts for the bachelorette party, I want everyone to pay for themselves. This was MOH orignal idea, but like I said my FMIL wouldnt agree.

Your right I would invite to different sets of people. Bachelorette-close friends and MOH.

I am going to talk to my MOH, and tell her to do whatever she wants

Sorry but why does FMIL think she gets a say in your pre wedding events? Wow, sorry if FMIL has such a problem with it dont envite her if she think it's so stupid than she doesn't have to attend or participate these things are for you to have fun and bond with your family and wedding party they arent stupid they are celebrations and fraditional if you dont want them thats one thing. My mother thinks having a wedding is stupid but thats not stopping me ...Do what makes you happy

In that case, definitely have both. The only reason it would be in poor taste is if guests were being asked to attend multiple parties and bring multiple gifts. Honestly, your FMIL is only being asked to attend the 1 shower, so she really doesn't have a say. You're right, just tell your MOH to do whatever she wants.

Your FMIL is welcome to her opinions but if she thinks it's stupid she doesn't have to attend. Lots of people have multiple showers and some even have multiple b-parties. Let people throw you as many parties as they (and you) want. Your FMIL can deal!

Most girls have 2 parties one is where people "shower" you with gifts and the other is you last night as a single woman