Baby at Ceremony

It' not your place to tell the Mom of a newborn what to do with her baby. At 2 months of age, babies sleep around 16-18 hours per day, so chances are it will not be a concern.

If Mom feeds the baby before the ceremony , the baby will likely be the one not invested in watching you get married.

I honestly think it doesn't matter what the bride thinks. If anyone from my wedding brings their infant, then so be it. Chances are I won't even see the child because my eyes will be on my groom.

My friend and her husband were both in our wedding and they had an almost 5 month old at the time we got married. The baby was invited to the wedding, and I'd have been fine if she wanted to carry him down the aisle if she needed, but they made the decision on their own to book an extra hotel room for his brother and SIL (they were about an hour away) and asked if they would watch the baby from the time we started pictures until the end of the reception. My BM just slipped away a few times during the cocktail hour and reception when it was time for feedings.

Can't her parents watch the baby?

I understand where both of you are coming from but I think you should let her have the option of what she wants to do with HER baby. Yeah it's your wedding but her baby is 2 months, not 12. You can't just hand off someone else's baby to someone else, even if it is someone she knows and trusts.. the baby is 2 months, most likely he or she will be sleeping anyway. .. maybe you should take into consideration that she just had her baby and maybe it's a little to soon to be away and separate from her new born... seems like you are overreacting about having a baby present at your ceremony.

Honestly the baby will probably sleep the entire time. Let a trusted family member hold the baby, this is very common at weddings. Your brother and SIL are doing you a favor by being in the wedding, you definitely want to make sure that they are comfortable leaving their baby in the arms of someone they trust. You owe them that.

You can't tell someone to get a sitter for their new born. Just let a family member hold the baby.

Personally I wouldn't just let some random person hold my 2 month old baby. I also wouldn't bring said baby in the first place.

That's just me.

Why is she against having someone from

HER family watch the baby? I think that is a great compromise. It's not fair for one of your family members to have to leave the ceremony if the baby becomes fussy. I think that was a good suggestion on your part. She has no reason to be mad.

I understand both sides, but having been at numerous weddings where babies started crying and instead of graciously leaving the scene, whoever was watching them at that moment tried to shush them instead. Which almost never works.

If you made this decision without consulting her, well, that was a mistake. I can't imagine anyone with a newborn feeling comfortable with a sitter honestly.

About the only compromise left is for a family member to hold them but to be told in the most diplomatic way possible that if there is crying, the baby needs to be brought to a place where they can do that.

In my experince, really little babies aren't the noise makers; it's slightly older ohttps://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/baby-at-ceremony/b1ed0d660d17c3c7.html#nes and toddlers....

I can definitely see not wanting to risk someone in your family missing the ceremony. She should definitely not leave her baby with someone she is uncomfortable with, but she does not get to assign the task to whoever she wants. I would probably tell her that she is welcome to invite someone from her family to the wedding to watch the baby or to attend the ceremony as a guest so that she can be with her baby.

She's doing what you asked/wanted and finding a sitter. This is a very young infant and I don't blame her not wanting to leave it with a stranger. If SIL has family nearby maybe politely suggest she use someone from her family rather yours/your brother's. But this certainly is not a ridiculous request/idea on part of sil.

She should just bring someone from her own family. This is what my brother is doing for his baby. I said if they absolutely felt they had to bring him ( he will be one ) then her parents need to be there to watch him. No exceptions.

I cannot fathom why people want to bring babies to weddings. I get that 2 months is young but why cant her parents watch him? IMO, its inconsiderate of her. They are responsible for their own children and the two options are baby stays with in laws or sitter, or one of the parents stays at home with the baby.

Let her figure out her own child care. This is not your responsibility. The parents will know who they are comfortable with and who is comfortable taking care of THEIR own child. The reality is, no matter who watches the baby, there's a chance she may need to go take care of her baby. If she's more comfortable with a family member, baby is more likely to be comfortable as well.

Sorry I misread the last sentence that OP was upset at the thought of inviting someone else and would rather pay a sitter.

I will add what might be most useful at this point is to ask who she has in mind. I mean if it's cousin Susie or great aunt Gertrude then that's a bit different than your mom or something. Also you may want to emphasize she needs to ask someone asap. If the folks she's asking are truly your immediate family they'll likely say no and then that may spur her to ask her own family members without you having to put her out. I'm guessing though that with having a one month old she may be a bit overwhelmed at the thought of leaving the baby with anyone other than one particular person she had in mind and may also still be very horomonal so some of the hurt might not be at the suggestion.

We invited my SIL’s parents, so they would have taken our niece out if she got fussy. She didn’t, though, and SIL (a BM) held her the whole ceremony. She was 10 months and therefore a LOT more likely to cause an issue. At 2 months all she did was sleep... You can’t really tell the mom she can’t hold her baby.

Yeah i'm with @mfb. I would never bring mine to a wedding. I thoroughly appreciate a night away from him and personally I feel weddings are adult events. I mean its like... they still have to be paid for and that can be hundreds of dollars for someone who won't even remember the event. Naaaa, I'm not going to do that to my friends.

I have 3 kids .. I will tell you it's unlikely a 2 month old will cause trouble .. a baby that's a year probably ..

When our baby was 2 months old her uncle married, and hubby and I were both involved in the bridal party. Baby was neither invited nor attended. She was taken care of at home, by a trusted friend. (And yes, I breastfed). The band was so loud, if she had attended I would have taken her home hours before the reception ended.