Baby at Ceremony

I brought my sons to my cousin's wedding when they were 3 months and my other cousin's wedding when they were 4 months and they slept through both, if that makes you feel any better.

That being said, I wonder if your SIL is more upset that you're trying to tell her what to do with her baby? If the baby will be 2 months on your listed date of 11/10, your SIL is still full of all the post partum hormones that might make her reactions to things a little....different than what they would have been if she didn't just have a baby a few weeks ago? And you might not think you're telling her what to do, but she could be interpreting it that way. I remember when I first had my sons someone made an innocent, actually helpful suggestion but at the time I just couldn't believe the audacity they had to try to tell ME how to do something related to MY children. Looking back, clearly I was overreacting.

I don't personally think your suggestion is terrible, rather I think it's nice that you'd extend an invite to someone in her family so that they could help with the baby. I don't know. I would just leave it for now or maybe talk to your brother and see if he could talk to her.

@MAMW brings up a really good point

I would think her parents could do it. I understand with the baby being so young she wouldnt want a sitter. But her parents or siblings could do it

It may be an unpopular opinion, but I am not a fan of babies at a wedding. however, at 2 months the baby should be asleep at least throughout the ceremony

@Mrs.FallBride it's not necessarily about the kid remembering but in some families it's important that ALL family members be there. For example, it may be that someone wants their newborn niece or nephew to be in pictures so that when they're 3 or 4 they can say see how little you were rather than you were too little or Aunt SoandSo was worried you might cry and ruin her perfect day so we made sure you had a sitter rather than have you be part of our celebration of becoming a family. A 4 year old also isn't likely to remember a wedding and that seems like a weird cut off to use. And even if they don't remember it, their parents will and how you reacted to the suggestion and that could cause even more issues.

Yeah...telling a mother she has to have a stranger watch her baby is not okay. It's not your choice who watches her baby. The baby will be fine with someone holding them during the ceremony I would just make sure the baby is fed beforehand.

I think it was more than generous of the OP to hire a sitter. I just went to a wedding where a crying baby and unruly was the brides fear. Both happened. This meant the brides best friend had to watch her get married 200 ft away. Having a baby at the reception isn't as big of a deal, but a screaming child during a ceremony is. IMO

I wouldn't care/be upset if my SIL held the baby herself during the ceremony; and/or if she had to step aside during the ceremony.

Did you have a discussion with the new mom before planning on having a sitter? Is this their first baby?

I think it was super thoughtful of you to offer a sitter, but bottom line is if she's not comfortable with that, you have to let her do what she is most comfortable with.

I would let her worry about who is going to hold the baby and move on along. I wouldn’t care one bit. Heck she could carry the baby herself down the aisle for all I care.