Avoiding the Cliche

Nancy's point and Celia's point were essentially the same, and yet had very different reactions. I don't get that. The point is that every wedding will have some of the same basic elements and some more original ones. That's ok. Nobody called anyone else's wedding or dress "cliche".

What made Uber's wedding more unique was that she was herself and did her thing. She didn't have to come on here and ask for creative ideas because she's a creative person. Surely y'all see the irony in asking other people for what they've seen at weddings before so they can use the idea for their own and then label it as unique?

I'm not trying to insult anyone by saying a lot of the BAM's have been cliche. My wedding is going to be super cliche and will probably contain elements that are overused, but elements that i personally like. I don't think I'm doing a single thing that one of my friend's hasn't already done. They have given me some great ideas. But it's still going to be beautiful. I think Nancy made a good point that if you are looking for ideas that aren't "cliche", wedddingwire is probably not the best place.

So on one hand, I get that...any bride who publicly posts a unique idea on here will rapidly become imitated and then it will no longer be unique. That's how trends happen.

On the other, though, since weddings have so many moving parts, it's very possible to take what other users have posted, adapt it with your own creativity, and combine it with some other elements that make it unique. And really....since your guests are not professional wedding goers, who cares?

MrsK, this is an example of how the internet makes it hard to read tone and sarcasm with a comment like that. But that doesn't mean we need to assume the worst of people and say they need to get laid. There was no reason for this conversation to have escalated like it did.

O&S and Mrs K - I gave you two the 6th like BTW...you're welcome!

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^True statement

Thank you Tania! And Uber's cake was amazing! I'm so happy she was able to find someone to make the cake she wanted.

I really want a donut tower for my wedding. We like cake, but we love donuts, so it's perfect for us! I came up with this idea all on my own -- thought I was really clever too. Since coming on WW, I've learned that I'm not clever or original because other brides are doing the same thing. Should I change my mind? No! The donut tower is still perfect for us, so we're still doing it! Don't focus on being unique, just be you.

People in this thread may or may not enjoy this Onion piece: http://www.theonion.com/video/horrible-couple-really-wants-wedding-to-reflect-th-28924

Honestly, when I first started planning, I had QUITE a lot in common with the couple in that article. At some point I gave up on my quest to be unique because I was too damn lazy to execute all of those unique elements and also because I realized I was being juuust a bit insufferable.

To the OP: Just do you. Embrace the traditions and styles that you both like and leave behind the ones you don't. For me, that meant not doing a bouquet or garter toss and staying away from anything that screamed "princess." I don't know if I'd call those things "cliche"--NOT doing them can be considered a different kind of cliche--but ultimately I was happy with my choices, so who cares? As a guest, I might roll my eyes at a chair sash, but if the ceremony is loving and the music is good, I'll walk away from that wedding happy to have been a part of it.

One of the coolest and most practical things I've seen was an 8" cake for each table. The cake also had the table number decorated onto it. When the B G cut their cake just after they finished their dinner, they invited the longest married couple at each table to cut the centerpiece cake at their own tables. The centerpiece cake was both décor and dessert! Super cute and got all the guests involved too.

I would put more effort into just making your wedding day everything YOU want it to be and not worry about what other peoples weddings are that's just exhausting. Also, there's nothing wrong a little tradition, just make it your own and have a wonderful time.

What's unique about your wedding is that it's between you and your FS. Limit your guest list to people who genuinely care about the two of you and your happiness, and it won't be a cliche to them. Try to make it a big production and invite a lot of people just for the spectacle, and it will still pale next to what is showing in the theater down the block.

I was surprised to still see this thread go around.

@Rachelle: I'm hesitant about picking things that are "cliche", because there's trends that look cliche-y now, but probably weren't at some point, and there's stuff that probably used to be cliche, but has fallen out of use and now would be somewhat unusual to do. There's also regional differences - apparently, many of DH's acquaintances have walked down to the same country song, which I couldn't even name because I don't know country. What I can say, is that if you include elements that both you and DH like, then your wedding will be fun to plan and that's an important part. Wedding planning is stressful, and at times overwhelming, so make sure you really like and want every element that you're including.

@annie, I'm laughing so hard at the Onion article that I'm almost in tears, thanks for sharing!

While my wedding was far from unique, I wanted it to be different from the weddings that had been done in my circle of family and friends. I thought about what my interests were...my love of the romance classics, Edwardian/early 20th century history and antiques and from that my self titled "Downton Abbey afternoon tea" theme was born. My husband loves two things....music and cars. I worked him in. LOL. But I succeeded. My family and friends had the bigger wedding budget, I had the originality....again, in my circle, not the wedding world. It was a lot of fun.

I always love to show off my girls.

There are multiple things that I hate to see at a wedding but these things will be different from other people's hate list.

One cool and easy way to be "unique" is to incorporate trends from other countries or other faith traditions. They may not be unique in Norway but they may blow your guests away here in America.

I would advise you to look at tons of ideas and then decide on what you see for your wedding. Don't forget to take into account the things that your FH and your mother/FMIL really need to experience to be happy.

Case in point? When I was still catering (almost 10 years ago now) we were doing 8" centerpiece cakes, mashed potato bars, pretzel stations and after parties.......

And they still rock.

Cigar bar!