Avoiding the Cliche

To add to what JerseyJen said, I made the big decisions in my wedding planning before I became active on wedding wire forums. I followed my heart, and stayed within the constraints of my budget, and chose things that were really very different from the weddings I've attended or seen picture of on facebook just because those weddings just didn't feel like us. When I joined wedding wire I found other women planning weddings similar to mine, and many that were even more different in ways I never could have imagined. Wedding Wire has taught me how different and diverse weddings can be.

We are using aspects that we want to be there, and not everything is going to match. My flowers won't match the cake, my decor probably won't match the cake... We aren't having a strict theme. Our theme is 'us' so in a way it is more unique. Just go with things that make you happy and don't think that you have to stick to a certain theme

Am I the only one who read Nancy's comment as sarcastic and not offensive?

Rachelle, one of the cutest and practical (reusable) guest favors were mason jar glasses next to the B+G signature drink. The signature drink was in a HUGE glass dispenser kind of thing and self serve. The bar tender was responsible for refilling it. The guests used their gift/favor all night long (a few people forgot theirs on the way to their cars and headed back in to get them!)

Oh no, not the more unique the tackier.

You can be basic and tacky as hell.

The point I was trying to get across is that the whole concept of a wedding is NOT unique and that she shouldn't try to be different just for the sake of being different. She and FH should choose what's important to them -- whether it is traditional or not, unique or not, cliche or not.

Most brides wear white dresses (yes, I know there are exceptions).

Most ceremonies are in a place of worship (yes, I know there are exceptions).

Most receptions are indoors (yes, I know there are exceptions).

I have a different perspective from the brides on here planning their 1st, 2nd, or 3rd weddings, because I just officiated my 1,500th ceremony. Most have been destination beach weddings, so they are different from most other weddings, but very similar to each other.

Man what a mess this thread became.

I think what happens when you're a vendor here is that you see the same trends played out over and over and over again. I've been here for a year and I see the same questions asked, the same trends overall, etc. Everyone has a photobooth. Everyone has uplighting. For awhile it was burlap everything a couple of years ago. And until recently, everyone did a strapless corset backed dress.

I'm not defending any saltiness by any means, but the thing is.....by being on this board, we're exposed to a lot of weddings, so you see the same thing over and over again. I can assure you that your guests, who will go to 2-3 weddings a year or so are not going to see a cliche as long as they're hosted well. I did a wine box in my ceremony. It's been done a hundred times. But my husband's aunt came up to us and said that it was such a neat idea because she isn't so personally invested in weddings to notice all of these trends.

Rachelle, I don't think you need to worry about avoiding cliches. Include any traditions you like and toss the ones you don't. There will be people who think you should have done something you didn't or vice versa, but for the most part you and your guests will enjoy your wedding because it will represent you and your FH as a couple. I have seen the same things done at multiple weddings, but those things still feel unique because they are done in such a way to reflect each couple. And different things generally feel right because that also reflects the couple. Unless, as others have said they are being different just to be different.

I don't think there's anything wrong with what Nancy said. She's right. I haven't seen any BAM on weddingwire that was really unique or any different than any wedding I've attended. I get the point she is trying to make. A wedding in and of itself is kind of cliche.

Janeen got it. I do the unity sand celebration at most of my weddings. Many guests come up and ask about it because they have never seen it before.

Rachelle, I second what @Janeen said. At first I was going to say that as long as your guests aren't on Pinterest planning a wedding at the same time as you, you're safe LOL.

Everything only seems "cliche" and overdone because you're immersed in it at the moment. All of your guests that are NOT looking at all of the latest and greatest in wedding trends will think whatever you decide to do to personalize your wedding is very unique. Even if you steal it right off Pinterest

I'm not on here 24/7, so I'm sure I've missed a few BAM's. But most of them involve a dress, walking down the aisle, ceremony, cocktail hour and a reception/party afterwards. I stand by my statement that I haven't seen a BAM on here that I would have walked out of the wedding thinking, man that was really unique and different and something I've never seen before. Weddings are fun, but it's hard to bring something new to the table that hasn't already been done.

I think that with vendors AND with couples who are immersed in the wedding world, there is a tendency to forget that your average guest doesn't inhabit the same world we do..they haven't seen their 50th photo booth or seen their 100th bride walk down to '1000 years'......

Personally, I like a blend of the traditional (well, not "man and wife' traditional....) and the unusual IF it fits the couple. Any element that is just stuck into the day because it's 'different' is just as pointless as anything traditional that rings hollow....

Even though we do see the same stuff over and over again here, that doesn't mean that those small details will be "cliche" however. The good thing about being on here is that you can take what you like and adapt it, and leave what you don't.

Was my wedding unique? To my planner? Probably not. To me? Yeah (although it was my second lol).

Uber Dami laid on a bed of nails at her wedding.... you wouldn't have walked out of there saying it's unique?

Macy, you must go to a lot of unique weddings if you don't think there's been any unique BAMs that you haven't seen before.

Lol. Yes, that makes sense. Tell people they need to get laid because they disagree with you. Or maybe because I didn't feel like jumping on the bandwagon of tell Nancy how wrong she is.

Janeen, your venue and photos were amazing! The word cliche doesn't even come to mind when I think of your wedding. Same goes for a lot of BAMs on here.

Thanks MrsK.

What is even going on with Macy here? I'm tired. It's not even lunch time yet.

It FIT Uber Dami to lay on a bed of nails. It wasn't unique for her. It was a day in the life for her LOL.

^