Attire Etiquette: Asking guests to dress in a specific color

Mm - I'm not about to single anybody out. Most of the comments were great and well appreciated I'm not just talking about this thread. There's a lot of commenters on WW (which I love!) that come across, to me personally, as crude, mean and unnecessary. It's sad that for all the "adulting" (I love that word and am not poking fun at anyone who has used it) we talk about doing, some adults have not learned to make their point without being mean. That's all I'm going to say about it.

A couple people asked me what color my bridesmaids were wearing so they wouldn't match. Do people know you are not wearing white or is it a surprise? If people ask that is your opportunity to tell them.

StitchingBride - thanks for the input! I was on the fence about it and didn't want to say no to FH right away because we also have been seen it so often lately and have been asked about attire. Though I don't the majority of our guests would have a problem I think we are just going to let this one go and have people "come as they are"

I think it's difficult. Some guests love the excuse to buy a new dress, but not everyone. I went to HS with a girl who asked everyone to wear pink and black to her wedding. Black is easy, pink is eh. Since your guestlist is small, maybe it would be easier. Why not ask some friends/family and see what their reaction is?

Lara P - thanks for the input the ones I brought it up to (asking for their opinion) loved the idea. Asking on here has provided some mixed reviews, which I assume means my guest list would also have mixed reviews. That answered my question so I think we will just nix the idea. I don't want anyone there not to be comfortable.

This would be really hard for me to do since in my culture it is the #1 thing you do NOT do to wear black to a wedding. It is saying you disapprove of the marriage. If the couple asked for it based on a cultural reason I would get over it as it's their day except that I don't own any solid black clothes that are wedding appropriate. The only solid black dress I own is too short and low cut for such an event. I feel fine in it for some cocktail parties or to go out dancing with the girls but I would never wear it to a wedding. So unless black with flowers was considered "black" I wouldn't have anything to wear and I wouldn't be willing to buy new clothes to go to someones wedding. It just makes it too expensive to attend for us. If I'm not in your BP then you don't get to say what I wear outside of a general dress code (formal vs casual etc) or any cultural requirements. I will gladly do anything that is culture specific to be respectful but that isn't the case here. Also, unless ALL of your guests wear black it won't end with cool photos it will end with the people who didn't wear black looking really weird and standing out both in person and in pics. IMO since this is just for aesthetics and not for a cultural reason this is not ok.

I recommend not doing this. Even something you may think everyone has, they might not. For example, I am not a fan of wearing black and don't own any wedding-appropriate LBDs (I have a sweater dress I occasionally wear to work, but it would be too hot for a June wedding). I'd have to buy a new dress for such a wedding. Your pictures will look lovely no matter what colors the guests wear as long as you have a proper photographer

Put it this way.....if i got an invite like that and i didnt own something i could wear to the wedding in that specific color, i would not go to the wedding. plain and simple....its a risk you take by asking

If I had a dime for every time someone posted "but my friends and family loved the idea" I could pay for my entire wedding. I would not like being told what to wear as a guest. You only get to choose your BP attire and some people don't even like to do that.

MNBride - too bad it doesn't work that way or I'm sure all of our weddings would be paid in full.

Yuck, this sounds so sweet 16 (when the "sweet 16" girl asked all her friends to wear black/white and she popped out wearing a color). Also, who wants a "wave" of one color in pictures...it doesn't look authentic. Weddings are expensive enough (whether your the guest or the host), don't make people buy new stuff that they probably wouldn't feel comfortable in.

Michelle - I'll save you from having re-read all my posts. We won't be asking our guests to wear one color. But in reference to the sweet 16 comment, don't we as brides already do this by wearing white? (And it's expected that no one else wear white to a wedding). Aesthetically I would like the "wave" of one color, maybe because I'm a bit ocd. But I agree, after some thought we won't be asking, I don't want guests to have to purchase anything extra.

Much as I agree with what you said, we don't stipulate on an invitation all shades of white/cream/ivory are reserved for the bride

Michelle - Point made thanks for the response.

Thanks everyone for the input!

I hate parties with an all one color dress code. A wedding would annoy me. What does it matter what the guest are wearing?

The only people sticking to our wedding colors are my MOH and flower girl. All the flowers will help tie it together, too. FH doesn't want a pastel-colored pocket square on his tux, which I am totally okay with, lol! As for others involved in wedding, I'm not forcing anyone to match, but people have asked about our colors so they don't clash. That's fine with me, just as long as everyone looks great and feels comfortable.

We had a formal, evening wedding, in a historic venue (lots of marble and gilding, muted lights, etc). Our colors were black and gold (bridesmaids), with ivory/white. The colors were part of the FAQs page, on our website, only since it's common, in our social circle, for ladies to avoid the bridesmaids' gown color. All but 1 man wore black and over half the ladies did, too. It didn't look funereal at all.