Attending a Wedding Without Gift Giving

We had around 12 couples/singles that didn't give a gift, and honestly I was surprised we didn't have more people NOT bring gifts! I was so overwhelmed and grateful and I don't have any kind of hard feelings or spite about those 12. I, myself, would never go to a wedding empty handed though. ETA: we had 91 guests

I couldn't attend a wedding without leaving a gift -- even if finances dictated that the gift was a beautifully wrapped, off registry, $30 stemmed glassware collection from Home Goods (I'd do that before I left $30 in a card).

So. you invited guests who didn't give you a gift? Yes, it's cheap, it sucks, and you weren't out of line for expecting at least a token gift. However, gifts are not an official requirement, but we all know better, don't we?

Try to let it go. What other option do you have?

We had a few. I absolutely think it's rude to come to a wedding and not bring anything (even a card.) I would never, ever rock up to someone's wedding without a gift.

We had several too lol. I was a little surprised just cause I wouldnt show up to a wedding empty handed and didn't realize people did. A few shipped their gift later and a bunch i know always follow the the shower gift is the wedding gift rule so they gifted at the shower! Did you have a shower? Some might still be getting mailed to you and for the others - oh well! Just something you don't realize till you have your own wedding lol

Maybe focus on writing thank you notes for the gifts you did receive, rather than focusing on the ones you didn't. Maybe if he writes some of them, it will help increase his sense of gratitude.

I think it's pretty common. It really depends on the shower gift to me. I had my shower today and my Aunt who was unable to attend sent a card with my cousin with $500 in it. I definitely do not expect a wedding gift from her. That was over the top as it is. There have been times when I used up my entire budget on a nice shower gift.

Yes, some people did shower gifts, I thought of that. I think what surprised me most is it was mostly my friends from nursing school. These did not give a shower gift, most didn't come to my shower. We all just graduated together a few weeks ago and we went through a lot together, you know? But thank you @muriel j., that's a good point. Focus on the good and writing thank yous to those that gifted.

Wow I'd never show up to a wedding empty handed lol that's insane!

I've never done it, but there are resources and old school etiquette books that tell people they have up to a year after the wedding to buy the gift. I've had a couple of friends do that at other weddings.

I would never show up empty handed but I have seen a few threads on here where users are saying there were a surprising number of guests who didn't even bring a card. Not sure if this is becoming a trend or not.

I've sent gifts later to weddings; you may get gifts in the mail in the coming months. The guests per traditional etiquette have up to a year to send a gift (I've never waited that long.)

I my area, it is expected that you give a gift. I typically give $100-300 depending on my relationship with the person and if I bring a date. I gave more to my brother. I have a few family members including a sister and one cousin who never bring gifts to anything including my birthday party which just passed. They are coming and I don't have any hard feelings about that. I always send them a thank you note for coming. I think it is a little different because we were all raised in the same family and everyone else does gifts.

The only time I didn't give an actual gift was for the wedding of a friend's son. Just before the wedding I gave the young couple my formal living room furniture and guest bedroom furniture when I downsized my home so that they had furniture for their new apartment. They told me to consider it my wedding gift. I did bring a card.

I didn't have a shower and had three people not give a gift. Two were DH's brothers! That surprised him. We did have two couples who we know money is extremely tight only give $25. I was fine with that....its thought that counts. But brothers??

I wouldn't show empty handed to a wedding or shower. However, we are expecting a few of our guest to not bring a gift to ours due to their finances.

We're still receiving wedding gifts in the mail after two months, so perhaps they're just late gift givers?

You don't really know a person's financial situation - sometimes making the trip to attend your wedding is literally all they can afford. And even if they aren't OOT, paying for a baby sitter or transport might be all they can afford.

Agree that I wouldn't show up to a wedding empty handed, but I have never been in a situation where I had to choose between buying a wedding present or being able to eat dinner every night that week.

@JerseyGirl, were they in the wedding?

OP, it happens. We had 8 guests out of 150 that didn't give a gift or a card. It was more than that the day after our wedding when we opened up the cards, but about 3 of them sent it in the mail, and one couple purchased something off our registry.

I don't think a single guest came empty-handed to our wedding. It's just something I would totally shocked at. Not that you should expect gifts but to be handed nothing is very odd.

I would never attend a wedding empty-handed.

May be some of these people who have never gave a gift never attended a wedding before?

The only time I've ever not brought a gift a wedding is when my best friend for married in the UK. I was 22 and poor, but I didn't fall to bring one because if money. I just completely forgot in all the chaos of getting ready for international travel. She wasn't at all offended and said they didn't expect gifts, especially from out of country guests. After the wedding I went traveling in Italy and got them a bottle of limoncello from the Cinque terre that I have them before I flew stateside. I just couldn't get wrapped around the idea of letting the event go by without giving them something, because I love them. It's definitely rude in my book, but you're best off to let it go. Some if your guests may have just forgotten as I did.