Attendance for bridesmaids

You are not their parent, you can't require them to attend anything. What if one of your BM says she can't afford something? Will you kick her out of your BP? Please do not be selfish.

I guess I'm the odd ball here, but I kinda feel like your wedding party is expected to participate in those types of things. I'm not saying that as a future bride tho, I'm saying that as someone who has previously been in multiple weddings. I just felt it was part of my responsibilities as a bridal party member to take part in everything, unless there was a serious reason I wasn't able to.

Half my bridesmaids can't go to my bachelorette party. Half of them can't go to my bridal luncheon. These are for very legitimate reasons like work schedules, pregnancy, children, finances. They will all be there day of. While I can understand being disappointed that everybody can't be at everything, the important part is that they love you and will there on your wedding day. People have their own stuff going on in their lives, and while they may shift them for the wedding, sometimes life's responsibilities take a higher priority than our additional wedding events. I'm sure you will still have fun at each event regardless of people missing, enjoy what you have!!

You can not require them to attend anything other than the wedding. They make that choice. They may not be able to take time off work or spend money on the extras. Usuakky, they do attend the reversal and reversal dinner. But, I have been in weddings where 1 or more people in the wedding were not able to attend the reversal. It worked out fine. If they have to travel or take time off work for the wedding, the extra day can be difficult for some.

No you're not crazy for wanting them there. It's crazy if you are going to require they be there but certainly not crazy to want them there. I understand everyone says "the only requirement is they show up in their dress on the day of the wedding" but I don't agree with that. These are your nearest and dearest friends. If they don't want to go to your events if they're free, they shouldn't be in your bridal party. Friends want to support friends and be part of their big events. Yes, everybody is busy and if they can't be there, that is life. You cant be mad. But it's normal to be bummed if any of them can't come. Just invited them to everything and let them decide.

I don't think it is crazy that you want them all to be there, but it is unreasonable to require grown adults to do anything. My cousin lives 2000 miles away and hasn't been able to make it to anything wedding related. It was my understanding when I asked her to be my bridesmaid that she would not be able to attend due to the distance. I can't wait for her to come in for my wedding next week.

Just make sure your events are spaced out... also, don't have too many events. I think two events plus the wedding is more than enough. You can then be pretty certain that they will attend. Anything more than can become an inconvenience.

I have to agree with the PP's on this one. You can't and shouldn't require your bm's to do anything but show up in their dresses on wedding day....I am sure if they are able to make it to the other events they will, but demanding they attend is rude.

I did not require my bridedmaids to attend everything, but I expected them to.

Nope. If they can, great. If not, it's okay. They all have lives and things going on beyond my wedding.

If they're close enough to be a BM I'd hope they'd try to attend all of them, but I wouldn't hold it against them if they were unable to.

"allowing them to choose which events they’d like to attend"

i'm sure they'd "like to attend" all of them (shower, bachelorette, RD if you're having one...)

I'm making the be at the rehearsal and the wedding. Everything else has been if they can come great if not I understand they have lives too

Attendance is not required.

You don't "require" people to do anything. The fact that you're getting married doesn't not confer upon you that right.

I mean, you can want everyone to be there all you want, but that doesn't mean it's going to happen.

And that doesn't mean you should be upset, in and of the fact that you hold it against them/pick a fight with them, if they don't show up to any/all pre-wedding events.

If your bridal party wants to go to those events you listed, they will, but remember that every extra event outside of the wedding can be $$$ for them. Never ever ever ever ever ever require them to spend money outside of their BM dress.

I'd like them to be there for every event, but I'm not "requiring" it. I'm not their boss.

Only one person is in the same city I live in and I am having a destination wedding so I am not anticipating much beforehand.

Not required, but you can try to accommodate their schedules.

I'm not requiring anybody to be anywhere. Just as long as they show up in their dress on the day of, I will be happy.

Almost all my bridesmaids work weekends, and one is about to give birth. If they can make it to the bridal shower or bachelorette party great, if not. It won't be held against them.

It's nice that you want them to be there, but you have to accept that they are not required to be there.