Attendance for bridesmaids

No. There is no requirement to show for anything but the wedding. If they can make pre-wedding parties, wonderful, if they cannot, so be it.

Yes, a little crazy.

People have their own lives and budgets and issues. You can't require things from them and expect them to still enjoy your friendship.

Your bridesmaids are only required to show up in the dress of your choosing relatively sober. Everything else is optional.

I mean, I'm inviting them to everything... What do you even mean by requiring it? Threatening to kick them out if they don't attend (unless it's for a reason you determine to be legitimate)? ETA: wording

The only event they're required to show up to is the wedding in their dresses.

They are adults with busy lives, it might be ideal for you to want them there, but they may not have the time or money (or they may not feel like it).

You can only require they come to your wedding to be a bridesmaid

Nope not required for any of it. Only half my bridesmaids made it to my shower and that was perfectly fine! One missed my Bachelorette party and while I missed her I wasn't mad about it and if anyone can't make the rehearsal dinner I already told them it's no biggie I trust they can walk down an aisle lol

Yes. You are. Sorry.

You can't 'require' them to do anything more than buy a dress and show up. And many of the things you've mentioned are things that either THEY plan or things (RD) that aren't necessary at all.

I"d get a firm grip on that, and I can honestly promise you'll be much less stressed out for the next 16 months....

You cannot *require* adults to do anything unless they are on your payroll.

ETA: other than show up at your wedding on time in the correct dress, of course.

Unless you're prepared to pay their way and pay them for any time they missed work, cover child care and expenses, and set them up with a new job if they lose their current one, then no, you cannot require attendance.

And following with PPs, it's also not up to you to "allow" them to skip something- or allow them to do anything!

Saying "I'll allow you to skip whatever" implies that you have control over them, which you shouldn't. You don't.

No, I do not expect my girls to be at every thing wedding related leading up to my wedding. Would I like them to be? Yes. Have most of them been to such things? Yes, but not all. My MOH missed my engagement party, had to leave early the day we all went to get their measurements and pick out their dresses, missed a couple more things I and the girls got together to do. But, she has a super busy schedule. We keep her in the loop. I talk to her about every other day. All my girls have been so involved in so much with my wedding and it has been by their choice. The main thing is them standing up with me on the most important day. Everything else is the icing on the cake. I am very fortunate all but two of my girls live in the same county as me. One lives 3 hours away and the other 1 hour away. So it would be crazy for me to think they could or should be at everything.

You can't require adults to do anything. You can invite them, but they have their own lives to live outside of your wedding. Perspective.

I flew to where half my bridesmaids live for my bachelorette. My MOH was the only other person that flew in for the bachelorette but she was the one that wanted to throw one no matter where the location was so I was comfortable with her paying for a flight since that's what she wanted to do. I don't think I would have been comfortable if any of the other bridesmaids had paid for a flight. My 2 sisters (who are my other 2 bridesmaids) couldn't fly out to the bach because 1 was studying abroad in Ireland and the other has a family. I wasn't even a little upset at them for not being there. It would be ridiculous if they flew somewhere for that. We did have mine early though because my bridesmaids can't get to my wedding city until the day before the wedding and I didn't want to have a bach party the night before. If they could all be there 2 days before the wedding, I would have probably had my bach party then. I definitely did not expect them to fly in for my bridal shower (and they didn't). I do kind of expect them to be at the rehearsal and r-dinner but if they tell me they can't make it, then that's okay. My MOH did actually fly in for dress shopping but only because I was dress shopping in between Christmas and New Years in a town 1 hr from where her parents live so she visited them and drove to my dress fitting. I absolutely wouldn't "require" anyone's attendance. If we all lived within the same town, I would probably hope that they could attend all wedding events but again, requiring it is pretty ridiculous. One of my bridesmaids is in 3 weddings in 2017, that would be ridiculous if she had to go to all pre wedding events for all 3 brides. Especially if any of those events required traveling.

I don't know about not requiring adults to do anything. I am required by my work to attend orientation and I am definitely an adult...

That being said, these are your nearest and dearest, not your employees. You can want them there because you love them, but requiring attendance makes you sound rude.

I'm in a friends wedding this fall and she really wants us to be at all events. However, I just found out that FH and I are moving halfway across the country so now I'm only going to be able to make the wedding...and I'm dreading the conversation where I have to tell her. So please don't be that bride, let them live their lives and go to what they can.

Yes its crazy. Its not a job, attendance at the wedding is the only requirement.

You can't force people to do things they don't want to do. That being said, in theory they SHOULD attend all these events, but no they're not mandatory.

I mean, I WANT them at everything because they're my best friends, but they're obviously not required to do so...

The only pre wedding thing we're having (that I'm aware of) is our rehearsal dinner. Of course I want them to be there. My FH's aunt and uncle are hosting it and I know it's going to be amazing but if they can't then they can't. I'm not their boss so I can't require attendance.

The only things in their lives that they are required to do are be their respective races/ethnicities and die.

That's it.

They don't have to go to your parties. Lower those expectations.